Names and spellings

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Names and spellings

What do you think when people spell one of their names, first/middle/last, a certain way and then ask others to pronounce it some non-intuitive (for English speakers) way?

For example, say I call my kid Xox and tell everyone to pronounce this name "Amy?"

Obviously, I'm exaggerating a bit, but you get my point.

Joined: 03/08/03
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Well internally, and silently, I think it's fine when it's a cultural or historical name (like Siobhan) or something foreign, but when I think it's one of those made-up pretentious things, I think it's ridiculous and make fun of the person who made up the name. . .just to myself.

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I agree with Laurie. Cultural names should be pronounced the way they are pronounced in that native language. Made up names, well I'll call you whatever you want, but I'll probably laugh behind your back.

I'll add, I hate when people don't make an effort to pronounce someones name the way they want. One of the big things we taught teachers in our workshop was "never give a kid a nickname just because you have a hard time pronouncing it". This happens so much, especially with Asian kids and it is very disrespectful, IMO.

BTw, I am not sure which one you are alluding to in the op. I think names that are not intuitve for English speakers is different from made up names that follow no rules in any language (like Xox=amy). but say Xiun is pronounce Shun in Chinese. Is that what you meant?

Joined: 04/12/03
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"culturedmom" wrote:

I agree with Laurie. Cultural names should be pronounced the way they are pronounced in that native language. Made up names, well I'll call you whatever you want, but I'll probably laugh behind your back.

I'll add, I hate when people don't make an effort to pronounce someones name the way they want. One of the big things we taught teachers in our workshop was "never give a kid a nickname just because you have a hard time pronouncing it". This happens so much, especially with Asian kids and it is very disrespectful, IMO.

BTw, I am not sure which one you are alluding to in the op. I think names that are not intuitve for English speakers is different from made up names that follow no rules in any language (like Xox=amy). but say Xiun is pronounce Shun in Chinese. Is that what you meant?

Me too. Over time I have gotten really good at looking at names and knowing what parents were going for. There are a few names that I'm never going to get the accent just right, no matter how much a practice and ask for feedback.

Many words we use in English aren't pronounced intuitively (e.g., colonel). Once somebody tells you their name, it doesn't matter how it's spelled unless you are communicating in writing. If you are writing the name, it doesn't really matter how it's pronounced.

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"culturedmom" wrote:

I agree with Laurie. Cultural names should be pronounced the way they are pronounced in that native language. Made up names, well I'll call you whatever you want, but I'll probably laugh behind your back.

I'll add, I hate when people don't make an effort to pronounce someones name the way they want. One of the big things we taught teachers in our workshop was "never give a kid a nickname just because you have a hard time pronouncing it". This happens so much, especially with Asian kids and it is very disrespectful, IMO.

BTw, I am not sure which one you are alluding to in the op. I think names that are not intuitve for English speakers is different from made up names that follow no rules in any language (like Xox=amy). but say Xiun is pronounce Shun in Chinese. Is that what you meant?

Agree with Laurie and Lana.

To the bolded, I have a funny one. A friend works in a pediatricians office, and she has to call and confirm appointments. She had a new patient to call for, and the name was spelled. La-ah. So she (hesitantly) called and said that she was confirming an appointment for "Lah-ah." Nope. The name was "La-dash-ah."

culturedmom's picture
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OMG seriously? You say dash for -? Hahahahaha. That's freakin awesome.

culturedmom's picture
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The one thing I think parents don't realize though wehn coming up with namesis that usually the kids name is the first thing they learn how to spell in school. It's what they use to learn phonics. So when parents make up freaky names that follow no rules, it can be hard for kids in the beginning.

I don;t know how the f@@k the teacher would explain La-Ah, lol.

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
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I agree with Laurie.

I also get fed up with people who don't really listen how to pronounce a name. I tell people to call me "Denise" (even though I very much dislike the name) because pronouncing my actual name "Deniz" gets butchered every. single. time.

I get asked if "Deniz" is really on my bnirth cetificate.
I also get asked if it's really how I spell my name, or did I just make it up.
I also get people that spell my name differently than what I say because they don't believe me when I spell it for them.

Joined: 07/24/10
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"culturedmom" wrote:

BTw, I am not sure which one you are alluding to in the op. I think names that are not intuitve for English speakers is different from made up names that follow no rules in any language (like Xox=amy). but say Xiun is pronounce Shun in Chinese. Is that what you meant?

Well, in your example, there is really no excuse, IMO, to spell it differently than it is pronounced seeing as how you're translating a name from a non-latin alphabet to English. Spell it how it sounds and then there will be less mispronunciation and aggravation for the Chinese person and everyone pronouncing the name IYKWIM.

But what I was actually think of was senator Boehner. I cannot bring myself to say bayner without rolling my eyes. If you're a Boner, be a proud boner. There's a reporter on CNN whose last name is Wiener. She pronounces it Wiener, just like an Oscar Meyer Wiener. I have mad respect for her for being a proud wiener. She doesn't try to tell people to say "Viner."

As for the student name change thing, I've never asked a student if I could call them something else, but I've had quite a few students who give themselves nicknames and ask me (and other instructors) to use them. I think it would be disrespectful to not use the nickname if asked.

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"The Great Vagina" wrote:

But what I was actually think of was senator Boehner. I cannot bring myself to say bayner without rolling my eyes. If you're a Boner, be a proud boner. There's a reporter on CNN whose last name is Wiener. She pronounces it Wiener, just like an Oscar Meyer Wiener. I have mad respect for her for being a proud wiener. She doesn't try to tell people to say "Viner."

Congressman Boehner. Wink

Maybe his ancestors changed the way it was pronounced many years ago, but I don't see why he should say "Boner" if his grandfather didn't just to seem more genuine. Not his fault. My married last name is not pronounced how it appears, so I sympathize with the gentleman from Ohio. Of course it's not as bad as Boner would be.

Joined: 07/24/10
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"Thrice~Blessed" wrote:

Congressman Boehner. Wink

Maybe his ancestors changed the way it was pronounced many years ago, but I don't see why he should say "Boner" if his grandfather didn't just to seem more genuine. Not his fault. My married last name is not pronounced how it appears, so I sympathize with the gentleman from Ohio. Of course it's not as bad as Boner would be.

Kati, maybe you have more patience than I do. I have a German maiden name and I just don't see the point in asking people to pronounce it the German way. We live in a country where people speak English, so I think people should just pronounce it the way they read it in English. No harm, no foul. Maybe I should insist that people not only pronounce it the German way, but say it with a German accent. ROFL

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"mommytoMR.FACE" wrote:

I agree with Laurie.

I also get fed up with people who don't really listen how to pronounce a name. I tell people to call me "Denise" (even though I very much dislike the name) because pronouncing my actual name "Deniz" gets butchered every. single. time.

I get asked if "Deniz" is really on my bnirth cetificate.
I also get asked if it's really how I spell my name, or did I just make it up.
I also get people that spell my name differently than what I say because they don't believe me when I spell it for them.

Well, to be honest, "Deniz" does seem like a butchered version of Denise. I mean, what is the purpose of spelling it like that if you say it the same as Denise? Do you, indeed, say it differently? Is it "Deh-nizz," "Deh-neez," "Dee-nizz," "Dee-neez" what?

See, I don't get the point of getting all upset at people who pronounce a name wrong because they just read what they see on a piece of paper or think they hear a common name.

I have a student name Leila. I bet nobody can guess how she wants it pronounced.

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Joined: 03/27/06
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Boehner should be pronounced more like Buner, rather than Baner or Boner. the ö sound more like a u sound than an o sound, if that makes sense?

It gets on my nerves when people make up names or go for something totally random. La- ah falls into both of those categories:lol:

I hate random spellings, I have a friend, Jeniffer. It is said Jen-iffer rather than like normal Jennifer. I always want to ask what were your parents thinking?? I had always thought if was just her accent until she spelled it for me.

Where I live thereare really spcific rules fornaming your child. There actually used to be a book of names to chose from and that was all you had to chose from. An American friend of mine wanted to name her daughter a unisex name and it wasn't allowed. They want to avoid kids being made fun of or people not knowing if the child is a girl or a boy. (I always laugh though because Marie is a unisex name here,but only allowed for boys as a middle name).

It bugs me too when people name their child, for example, Siobhan to get in touch with their Irish roots. First thing they have like 1 Irish great great great great grandparent. They have never heard it pronounced, they just went to irishgaelic.com (I just made that up) and saw a name they thought looked pretty or they wanted a Joan meaning. Then they pronounce it See oh ba han.

But I would never tell them it was wrong or tell them not to name their child that. In the end it is their child and the identity they want to give it.

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"The Great Vagina" wrote:

Well, to be honest, "Deniz" does seem like a butchered version of Denise. I mean, what is the purpose of spelling it like that if you say it the same as Denise? Do you, indeed, say it differently? Is it "Deh-nizz," "Deh-neez," "Dee-nizz," "Dee-neez" what?

See, I don't get the point of getting all upset at people who pronounce a name wrong because they just read what they see on a piece of paper or think they hear a common name.

I have a student name Leila. I bet nobody can guess how she wants it pronounced.

And another thing that's irritating is assuming a name is made up;) Deniz is a beautiful Turkish name (it's even unisex!), and people butcher it even when I pronounce it for them. It's pure laziness, because it's not difficult to say at all (after I tell people how to say it). To break it down, you would pronounce it like, "Deh-niz".

And to the bolded, I never said I got mad. More like annoyed and fed up. It's not towards the people that out right say they are not sure how to pronounce it, or to the people that at least say it like, "Deh-neez" or something, it's toward the people that call me "Dennis" (there is no "s" in my name!), Denzel (wow, how in the world do you make up letters in another person's name!?!?), "Denitza" (making up letters again), "Denzi" (okay, maybe they accidentally switched the last two letters around, even though many people have accidentally done this), etc etc etc.

culturedmom's picture
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"The Great Vagina" wrote:

Well, in your example, there is really no excuse, IMO, to spell it differently than it is pronounced seeing as how you're translating a name from a non-latin alphabet to English. Spell it how it sounds and then there will be less mispronunciation and aggravation for the Chinese person and everyone pronouncing the name IYKWIM.

Huh? How can you tell someone how to spell their name though? yes you are translating it into a Latin alphebet, but the truth is there is no Latin based letter that creates the soundof the chinese letter. Her name is not pronounced Shung (sh-un-g)but that's s close to an english pronunciation as one could get. But teh chinese Xi is different which is why it's used. Like the Hebrew letter "chi". In Latin alphabet you write "Ch" but it is more gutteral then just "ch".

My maiden name is impossible for most people to pronounce correctly. It has 11 letters and rolling r, a silent h, etc. etc. etc. Yes it's aggrivating to try and pronounce it. butI will tell you, I always appreciated people who tried then just either called me Lana H or butchered it and couldn't care less. I think many Chinese people feel the same about there name I woudl think. Boy I wish jessica was around, she would be a great person to ask. Smile

But what I was actually think of was senator Boehner. I cannot bring myself to say bayner without rolling my eyes. If you're a Boner, be a proud boner. There's a reporter on CNN whose last name is Wiener. She pronounces it Wiener, just like an Oscar Meyer Wiener. I have mad respect for her for being a proud wiener. She doesn't try to tell people to say "Viner."

Oh give the man a break. LOL It's hard to have a Boner. And maybe it really is Bahner. I would think it woudl be harder to live as a Bahner with people thinking it is Boner then just ahve people call you Boner.

[qoute]As for the student name change thing, I've never asked a student if I could call them something else, but I've had quite a few students who give themselves nicknames and ask me (and other instructors) to use them. I think it would be disrespectful to not use the nickname if asked.[/QUOTE] well like I siad, you should call a person by what they want to be called. If they want to be called by a nickname then youshoudl do so. That was not what I was talking about. I was talking about teachers who give students nicknames tonot have to try and pronounce their names. That to me pisses me off. Usually they don't ask either. For example, many teachers addmitted in my workshop that they would seea kids name like XiunHuey and then when the kid woudl pronounce it for them they would say "Ok I'm just going to call you Shoon". That's bad and happens all the time.

culturedmom's picture
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"The Great Vagina" wrote:

Kati, maybe you have more patience than I do. I have a German maiden name and I just don't see the point in asking people to pronounce it the German way. We live in a country where people speak English, so I think people should just pronounce it the way they read it in English. No harm, no foul. Maybe I should insist that people not only pronounce it the German way, but say it with a German accent. ROFL

Why? People should try and pronounce it the way you say it is pronounced. Period. Just because you don't care on your name doesn't mean others don't. And I think there can be a compromise in how you pronounce things.

Buena Vista is pronounced Bu-wena Vee-sta. Now most people don't say Vee-sta but Vista which I think is fine. It's unnatural to pronounce the "i" as an "ee" the way it should in spanish. But people who pronounce the town Byoo-na Vie-sta, with straight English translation sound goofy. There is a compromise I think is good.

And I do try to use the accent if that is how someone pronounces it to me. My friend from South Africa is named Jorda. when you ask how to pronounce it she will tell you with an accent "Yor-dah". I try very hard to pronounce it exactly as she told me.

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"mommytoMR.FACE" wrote:

And another thing that's irritating is assuming a name is made up;) Deniz is a beautiful Turkish name (it's even unisex!), and people butcher it even when I pronounce it for them. It's pure laziness, because it's not difficult to say at all (after I tell people how to say it). To break it down, you would pronounce it like, "Deh-niz".

And to the bolded, I never said I got mad. More like annoyed and fed up. It's not towards the people that out right say they are not sure how to pronounce it, or to the people that at least say it like, "Deh-neez" or something, it's toward the people that call me "Dennis" (there is no "s" in my name!), Denzel (wow, how in the world do you make up letters in another person's name!?!?), "Denitza" (making up letters again), "Denzi" (okay, maybe they accidentally switched the last two letters around, even though many people have accidentally done this), etc etc etc.

I think people should pronounce your name the way you say.

I also agree one shouldn't get irritated if they get it wrong from the way it is spelled. If I just sw your name I might say "Dennis" trying to pronounce it right. Now if you tell me "No it's Deh-niz and I keep saying dennis on purpose then I'm an a$$hole. I also don't like whne people who spell their name uniquely get pissy when someone spells it the regular way by accident. If you say your name is Kim and I accidentaly write Kim, don't get pissed if I don't spell it Kyim. Just nicely say Oh it's spelled K-y-i-m.

Joined: 01/06/03
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"culturedmom" wrote:

I think people should pronounce your name the way you say.

I also agree one shouldn't get irritated if they get it wrong from the way it is spelled. If I just sw your name I might say "Dennis" trying to pronounce it right. Now if you tell me "No it's Deh-niz and I keep saying dennis on purpose then I'm an a$$hole. I also don't like whne people who spell their name uniquely get pissy when someone spells it the regular way by accident. If you say your name is Kim and I accidentaly write Kim, don't get pissed if I don't spell it Kyim. Just nicely say Oh it's spelled K-y-i-m.

I agree... but I do get very irritated at people who INSIST on spelling my children's names incorrectly despite the fact that a) they have known them for 9.5 and 5.5 years; b) they have been told/seen it written MULTIPLE times; and c) SHE IS THEIR BLASTED GRANDMOTHER! IMO, that is just rude and insulting. Yes, my ds's name is not spelt the usual/standard way... it is Culin (prounounced the same as Cullen of course), but I did NOT make it up just to be "cool" or different, it's my grandmother's maiden name and holds a lot of meaning. I do not expect that random strangers would have any idea so I always spell it for them, I have no problem with that... but if you are a teacher/close relative/friend/etc. who knows us, then I do expect it to be spelt correctly.

My dd's name shouldn't be hard to get right (Janessa) but yeah... grandma does spell it wrong too :rolleyes: One of her middle names, however, is Belén. A beautiful Spanish name that often does get pronounced Be-lyn/Bay-lyn instead of the much closer bay-LEN But since there's not a whole lot of Spanish speakers where I live, again, I do cut slack for strangers and occasionally depending on the relative (I even have to occasionally remind dh too... obviously it's not a name that HE chose ;))... though honestly with pronunciation and spelling, if one isn't sure then I would MUCH prefer someone taking the time to ask me how it is spelt/said.

Oh and I have a French last name. I know when people phone us and ask for Mr/Mrs ****** pronounced the technically correct French way that they likely don't know me LOL Of course since they would be technically correct, I don't correct them... I just use it as a guage as to how well I know them LOL Hardly anybody otherwise pronounces it that way. Even FIL pronounces it the "English" way when he's speaking English, he only reverts to the *correct* way when he's speaking French LOL It kind of depends where you live too... I'm sure if we were in Quebec they'd cringe at *US* butchering it Wink

So I guess my long winded point is more or less that if it's someone who doesn't know us/doesn't know us well... I won't get irritated at spelling mistakes/mispronunciations of our names if you haven't been told before simply because how could you possibly know? But if you are a close family member/friend/teacher/someone who knows us well... or I have told you how to spell/say them, then yes, I do get somewhat irritated (even if I don't express it to you) because to me that shows a complete lack of respect/consideration to not even try.

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
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My Mum's surname (her maiden name) has a silent D in it, which has qalways made it fun when trying to arrnge anything where I have needed mother name or ordering items for her. So many people when seeing it spelled out try to pronouce the D, but I guess a silent D isn't common in English.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
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"culturedmom" wrote:

well like I siad, you should call a person by what they want to be called. If they want to be called by a nickname then youshoudl do so. That was not what I was talking about. I was talking about teachers who give students nicknames tonot have to try and pronounce their names. That to me pisses me off. Usually they don't ask either. For example, many teachers addmitted in my workshop that they would seea kids name like XiunHuey and then when the kid woudl pronounce it for them they would say "Ok I'm just going to call you Shoon". That's bad and happens all the time.

This happened to Seamus. He had an economics class with this sweet professor from Bangladesh. (She really was sweet, very nice...kind hearted, etc.) She asked Seamus how to say his name and after he told her she said "Oh, I will call you shawn. You're mother will hate me!" and then sort of shyly giggled about it.

Oh and I feel like Laurie and Lana on this issue.

Joined: 05/31/06
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Yes, you should make an effort to call a person by their name, as they would like it pronounced. Sometimes with cultural names that may be counterintuitive to a native english speaker, but since we are all gifted surely we can learn how to say something differently when someone explains it to us? Wink

My pet peeve is taking a "normal" name and destroying it with rogue "Y's" and the like.

ftmom's picture
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"Princess&ThePea" wrote:

I agree... but I do get very irritated at people who INSIST on spelling my children's names incorrectly despite the fact that a) they have known them for 9.5 and 5.5 years; b) they have been told/seen it written MULTIPLE times; and c) SHE IS THEIR BLASTED GRANDMOTHER! IMO, that is just rude and insulting. Yes, my ds's name is not spelt the usual/standard way... it is Culin (prounounced the same as Cullen of course), but I did NOT make it up just to be "cool" or different, it's my grandmother's maiden name and holds a lot of meaning. I do not expect that random strangers would have any idea so I always spell it for them, I have no problem with that... but if you are a teacher/close relative/friend/etc. who knows us, then I do expect it to be spelt correctly.

My FIL just cannot remember the correct way to pronounce my DDs name. I finally just had to accept that was the way he would say it. Her name is Arianna, pronounced Are-ee-anna, and he insists on prounouncing it Air-ee-anna. We actually spent alot of time going over different spellings before naming her to ensure that it was actually spelt the way it sounds, but people get it wrong all the time, so I guess we just doomed her to one of those names:/

I have also been told that I spelled my sons name 'wrong' as it is Conner with an er instead of an or on the end. I thought that was very rude!

And my name is often said, Kayla. Hello, where is the a? I just dont think it really matters. People will say names however they want it seems. I always try to say them the way people want, however as a substitute teacher with a hard to pronounce last name I used to tell kids they could say my name wrong too if they wanted:)

Joined: 01/06/03
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"ftmom" wrote:

My FIL just cannot remember the correct way to pronounce my DDs name. I finally just had to accept that was the way he would say it. Her name is Arianna, pronounced Are-ee-anna, and he insists on prounouncing it Air-ee-anna. We actually spent alot of time going over different spellings before naming her to ensure that it was actually spelt the way it sounds, but people get it wrong all the time, so I guess we just doomed her to one of those names:/

I do have to confess that if I saw your dd's name without knowing your preference, my first instinct would be "air" rather than "are"... I've never known anybody who used the other pronunciation. But once you told me or corrected me, I would do my utmost to remember and not make that mistake again Smile

If MIL would use ONE misspelling consistently with my kids names then maybe I could see her getting stuck on it... but she spells them differently EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. She's even spelt ds's name Collun... ummm... totally different name. The last time she did both kids corrected her LOL Also totally certain she has NO problem spelling any of the other 6 grandchildren's names correctly despite there being multiple variations of their names out there... so this is definitely a matter of totally disrespect/etc vs she can't remember how to spell IMO.

I had to get the front of ds's medical ID bracelet reengraved with his name on it a few months back... I wrote out his name VERY clearly for them. I go to pick it up and they put "COLIN"... and they ARGUED with me that my (very clear) U was really an O :rolleyes:

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"Princess&ThePea" wrote:

I do have to confess that if I saw your dd's name without knowing your preference, my first instinct would be "air" rather than "are"... I've never known anybody who used the other pronunciation. But once you told me or corrected me, I would do my utmost to remember and not make that mistake again Smile

If MIL would use ONE misspelling consistently with my kids names then maybe I could see her getting stuck on it... but she spells them differently EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. She's even spelt ds's name Collun... ummm... totally different name. The last time she did both kids corrected her LOL Also totally certain she has NO problem spelling any of the other 6 grandchildren's names correctly despite there being multiple variations of their names out there... so this is definitely a matter of totally disrespect/etc vs she can't remember how to spell IMO.

I had to get the front of ds's medical ID bracelet reengraved with his name on it a few months back... I wrote out his name VERY clearly for them. I go to pick it up and they put "COLIN"... and they ARGUED with me that my (very clear) U was really an O :rolleyes:

Weird...if she spells it differently that would mean two different things to me. Either she IS trying to get it right and just can't remember, or she has bigger issues with memory and spelling.

Spelling it the wrong way every time would be more likely to indicate to me that someone isn't even bothering to try.

Spelling it different each time is more likely to lead me to believe she is rather helpless in this endeavor.

carg0612's picture
Joined: 09/23/09
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"KimPossible" wrote:

Weird...if she spells it differently that would mean two different things to me. Either she IS trying to get it right and just can't remember, or she has bigger issues with memory and spelling.

Spelling it the wrong way every time would be more likely to indicate to me that someone isn't even bothering to try.

Spelling it different each time is more likely to lead me to believe she is rather helpless in this endeavor.

This is my MIL. My full name is Christina (no brainer, right?) but my DH and family call me Christie (also a no brainer). My MIL has yet to spell Christie the correct way. I told her "like Christie Brinkley" and she still doesn't get it. It's always "Kristy" or "Cristy" or "Christi" or, etc, etc. but never Christie. It's just not that hard.

She also insists on spelling my mom's name wrong. Her name is Rosemary but everyone calls her "Ro" - ok it's 2 letters, how tough can that be??? My MIL spells it "Rose" or "Roh". What???

I've given up being offended by her rudeness. Heaven forbid if I had a difficult name!

LiveFreeOrDie's picture
Joined: 09/15/05
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Oh Bobby, I just disagree with you so much I don't even know where to start. I shudder at how you might pronounce my husband's name. "Undress?" Lol

Joined: 01/06/03
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"KimPossible" wrote:

Weird...if she spells it differently that would mean two different things to me. Either she IS trying to get it right and just can't remember, or she has bigger issues with memory and spelling.

Spelling it the wrong way every time would be more likely to indicate to me that someone isn't even bothering to try.

Spelling it different each time is more likely to lead me to believe she is rather helpless in this endeavor.

When she can spell all the other grandchildren's names correctly? She's definitely not helpless and has no issues with spelling or memory on anything else so I honestly can't see that being the case. But she certainly isn't bothering in the least to even try to spell them correctly. Even dh says it's out of spite and is annoyed by it though he won't say anything and forbids me to say anything to her because it would cause WWIII.

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"Princess&ThePea" wrote:

When she can spell all the other grandchildren's names correctly? She's definitely not helpless and has no issues with spelling or memory on anything else so I honestly can't see that being the case. But she certainly isn't bothering in the least to even try to spell them correctly. Even dh says it's out of spite and is annoyed by it though he won't say anything and forbids me to say anything to her because it would cause WWIII.

Well i don't really know the whole back story with your MIL...so obviously if there is more going on there...then it certainly can be attributed to that. Of on the flip side, maybe because of all the other issues between you and your MIL, you are choosing to attribute this to her attitude when it might just be something else.

Just saying the fact that its different each time is odd and just sounds to me like it completely escapes her. But in the end, you know the situation better than i ever could.

As for the other grandkids names...are the unique or common?

Alissa_Sal's picture
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Lil96 - where do you live that people can only give their children certain names? I have never heard of that before.

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Posts: 1175

"KimPossible" wrote:

Well i don't really know the whole back story with your MIL...so obviously if there is more going on there...then it certainly can be attributed to that. Of on the flip side, maybe because of all the other issues between you and your MIL, you are choosing to attribute this to her attitude when it might just be something else.

If dh and a few others who know her didn't agree then that could be a possibility... but he/they have said the same thing... that it's intentional... so I don't think it's ALL my perception.

As for the other grandkids names...are the unique or common?

Common names but I'd say for at least 4 of them there are multiple common spelling variations... none of which she gets confused over.

"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Lil96 - where do you live that people can only give their children certain names? I have never heard of that before.

I don't know where she lives but I have heard of this... I've seen news articles here and there on occasion... but for the life of me I can't think of where some of these places are... I'm thinking there are some European countries that do this but I think there are a few other places too.

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Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3303

"Princess&ThePea" wrote:

If dh and a few others who know her didn't agree then that could be a possibility... but he/they have said the same thing... that it's intentional... so I don't think it's ALL my perception.

I wasn't suggesting it was only you. I think when you are legitimately at odds with an individual its very easy to attribute all their shortcomings as a personal strike against you. I do it too sometimes, i'm sure. Or you could be right and she is doing it just to spite you. Anyway.....don't want to turn this into a psychoanalysis session. In the end its just the fact that she spells it differently each time that I find interesting, thats all.

Joined: 06/04/07
Posts: 1368

"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Lil96 - where do you live that people can only give their children certain names? I have never heard of that before.

I don't know where Lil96 lives, but it's this way as well in the Netherlands. It has to be approved by the county. My dh's name gets botched all the time here as they Americanized the name, Arne. Everyone here pronounces it like Arnie, when it's actually pronounce Arna (include rolling R if you can.) He also has Maria as part of his middle name, which over here would be pretty much unheard of in our region to allow what's considered feminine names for the male gender. I also think that people should respect the given name and attempt to pronounce and spell it correctly despite where it's derived from or their reasoning for the name. I might find the way that it's spelled a bit silly (like the -), but if that's part of the name, I have no problems respecting it.

I have an exMIL who has a masters in English that would misspell one of my DD's names. It was definitely intentional because she saw it as a dig against me. She never saw my kids as part of their father, only to be my kids and she did not like me one bit for "taking" her son away from her. Never mind, how it made my daughter feel.

Joined: 04/12/03
Posts: 1683

"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Agree with Laurie and Lana.

To the bolded, I have a funny one. A friend works in a pediatricians office, and she has to call and confirm appointments. She had a new patient to call for, and the name was spelled. La-ah. So she (hesitantly) called and said that she was confirming an appointment for "Lah-ah." Nope. The name was "La-dash-ah."

Interesting: http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/le-a.asp. I wonder how long it will take to make the social security list of names database.

I like the French Latraita better. And M@.

Joined: 07/24/10
Posts: 208

"LiveFreeOrDie" wrote:

Oh Bobby, I just disagree with you so much I don't even know where to start. I shudder at how you might pronounce my husband's name. "Undress?" Lol

Oh Roben, Biggrin tell me his name and I'll say it for you. Smile

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

Bobbie, you may actually see him and say "undress", but in a unrelated way to the actual spelling of his name. He has the super cute.

Joined: 07/24/10
Posts: 208

"mommytoMR.FACE" wrote:

It's pure laziness, because it's not difficult to say at all (after I tell people how to say it). To break it down, you would pronounce it like, "Deh-niz".

And to the bolded, I never said I got mad. More like annoyed and fed up. It's not towards the people that out right say they are not sure how to pronounce it, or to the people that at least say it like, "Deh-neez" or something, it's toward the people that call me "Dennis" (there is no "s" in my name!), Denzel (wow, how in the world do you make up letters in another person's name!?!?), "Denitza" (making up letters again), "Denzi" (okay, maybe they accidentally switched the last two letters around, even though many people have accidentally done this), etc etc etc.

Well, that makes sense. "Deh-niz" or "Deh-neez" go with Deniz. Now, if you told me you pronounced it "Denise," I would have to roll my eyes...just sayin'. Smile

Joined: 07/24/10
Posts: 208

"culturedmom" wrote:

Oh give the man a break. LOL It's hard to have a Boner. And maybe it really is Bahner. I would think it woudl be harder to live as a Bahner with people thinking it is Boner then just ahve people call you Boner.

Actually, it's not Bay-ner. Like lil said, it's more like Burner.

well like I siad, you should call a person by what they want to be called. If they want to be called by a nickname then youshoudl do so. That was not what I was talking about. I was talking about teachers who give students nicknames tonot have to try and pronounce their names. That to me pisses me off. Usually they don't ask either. For example, many teachers addmitted in my workshop that they would seea kids name like XiunHuey and then when the kid woudl pronounce it for them they would say "Ok I'm just going to call you Shoon". That's bad and happens all the time.

Well, I think at some point, if a person cannot pronounce your name, you need to realize that they may be getting embarrassed and let them off the hook.

Joined: 06/04/07
Posts: 1368

"The Great Vagina" wrote:

Actually, it's not Bay-ner. Like lil said, it's more like Burner.

[qoute]As for the student name change thing, I've never asked a student if I could call them something else, but I've had quite a few students who give themselves nicknames and ask me (and other instructors) to use them. I think it would be disrespectful to not use the nickname if asked.

well like I siad, you should call a person by what they want to be called. If they want to be called by a nickname then youshoudl do so. That was not what I was talking about. I was talking about teachers who give students nicknames tonot have to try and pronounce their names. That to me pisses me off. Usually they don't ask either. For example, many teachers addmitted in my workshop that they would seea kids name like XiunHuey and then when the kid woudl pronounce it for them they would say "Ok I'm just going to call you Shoon". That's bad and happens all the time.[/quote]

Well, I think at some point, if a person cannot pronounce your name, you need to realize that they may be getting embarrassed and let them off the hook.[/quote]

Or as what my DH does is change the name of the person who's continuously saying his name wrong until they get it right. It's amazing what quick learners they become when their own name is said wrong.

Joined: 07/24/10
Posts: 208

"culturedmom" wrote:

Why? People should try and pronounce it the way you say it is pronounced. Period. Just because you don't care on your name doesn't mean others don't. And I think there can be a compromise in how you pronounce things.

Because everyone else with that surname pronounces it the English way. There are also quite a few famous people with that surname who pronounce it the English way. I would feel like an a$$hole if I insisted that people put on a German accent and say it a differently. Really? What's the point? To insist that everyone know my father's German heritage? It would be like me insisting that everyone pronounce the common surname "Smith" as "Smeeth." That's just stupid.

Buena Vista is pronounced Bu-wena Vee-sta. Now most people don't say Vee-sta but Vista which I think is fine. It's unnatural to pronounce the "i" as an "ee" the way it should in spanish. But people who pronounce the town Byoo-na Vie-sta, with straight English translation sound goofy. There is a compromise I think is good.

Bwayna Vista here. I'm not going to say Bw-eh-na Veesta because I'm not going to put on a fake Hispanic accent. People here would laugh at me. I draw the line at San Pedro though. People around here say "San Peeeeedro." I think that sounds a bit hill-billy-ish, so I go ahead and say San Peh-dro, but I don't put on the fake accent and roll my r's.

And I do try to use the accent if that is how someone pronounces it to me. My friend from South Africa is named Jorda. when you ask how to pronounce it she will tell you with an accent "Yor-dah". I try very hard to pronounce it exactly as she told me.

Lana, you can't convince me that you wouldn't think it ridiculous to pronounce "Leila" as "Lee-EYE-lay." Some pronunciations are just ridiculous.

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Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Interesting - maybe my friend was pulling my leg!

Joined: 07/24/10
Posts: 208

"Beertje" wrote:

Or as what my DH does is change the name of the person who's continuously saying his name wrong until they get it right. It's amazing what quick learners they become when their own name is said wrong.

How about when someone keeps insisting on pronouncing your name CORRECTLY? I work with a Swiss guy who always pronounces a coworkers name with the correct French pronunciation of his surname even though the guy uses the English pronunciation.

Joined: 07/24/10
Posts: 208

"Potter75" wrote:

Bobbie, you may actually see him and say "undress", but in a unrelated way to the actual spelling of his name. He has the super cute.

Robin is pretty hawt too...well, from the pictures I've seen...so, I totally believe that "Undress" is too. Smile

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Joined: 03/29/05
Posts: 115

I get annoyed when people pronounce names wrong so I named my kids names that were no-brainers lol. Although apparently most people see Aiden spelled as Aidan and he often has his name misspelled Sad

My husband always has his name mispronounced and he hates it. It is Saul, pronounced like Paul with an "S", but many times people want to pronounce it like we are spanish: Sow-oul like Roul with an "S". I have learned that if someone is calling asking for Sow-oul it is a telemarketer and just hang up!

Joined: 06/04/07
Posts: 1368

"The Great Vagina" wrote:

How about when someone keeps insisting on pronouncing your name CORRECTLY? I work with a Swiss guy who always pronounces a coworkers name with the correct French pronunciation of his surname even though the guy uses the English pronunciation.

It would be disrespectful to not say it the way the coworker wants it stated. The Swiss guy is being rude. It's one thing to say how it's said in French one time, but continuously is disrespectful.

fuchsiasky's picture
Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 955

I have an odd name and have coped with miss-spellings and mispronunciations my whole life. I have just learned to live with it. If I am telling someone my name for a form or something I always say it and then spell it. My last name is also not phonetically obvious (although the family has changed it several times in the last few centuries to try to make it pronounceable) so we are plagued with mispronunciations. In fact when we go out to eat we just say we are the Thompsons just so they won’t butcher our name…again. It is easier that way!

But with a name like Fuchsia, I wasn’t going to give DD a traditional name. I wanted something more unique (as I do like the uniqueness of my name). I tried to spell it phonetically to make it easier for DD to learn and others to pronounce. It didn’t work. It is spelled Kaiya but we get Kaya (Kā-ya), Kayla, Kyla etc. I don’t know where people keep getting the l from! But I am fine with that. I knew that she was doomed to have to pronounce and spell her name for most people. If she gets frustrated she can go by Kai. I also gave her good options as middle names (Jade and Sky) just in case she wanted something easier someday.

It does really bug me when people spell their child’s name in an odd way and then get upset about miss-spellings and mispronunciations. If you wanted everyone to know how to spell/say your child’s name then maybe you should not have tried to be unique!

Joined: 12/10/05
Posts: 1681

Honest mistakes are fine and I just politely correct them. There is no way someone could know my name is spelled with a K rather than a C and unless you are Dutch or Germany, you won't have any idea how to say or spell my DD name.

But, if after being told (and reminded) a few times, I do expect you to know how to spell my name and at least say my daughters (I admit the spelling is tricky). To just continue doing it wrong is rude, imo

That said, I went to school with a girl name Kirsten (kear-sten... kear rhymes with ear). A very sweet woman in my class said her name wrong (butchering it in a variety of creative ways) for 4 years. Kirsten would correct her every time. Finally, she lost it. "Come on! It has been 4 years! It isn't that hard a name!" I totally understood why she was upset, but the other person was really sweet and I know she wasn't just being a jerk... I guess some people just suck at names that bad?

Joined: 06/04/07
Posts: 1368

I love the name Kaiya. My cousin's daughter's name is that, only with a j instead of a y. My dd's nickname is Kai as well, so of course I think that's awesome! And what's too funny, is DH's sister's name is Kirsten, which is true that it does get butchered at times here because of the other ways it's pronounced. But I think 4 years of hearing it wrong from the same person would definitely be too long for my patience.

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Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 955

"Beertje" wrote:

I love the name Kaiya. My cousin's daughter's name is that, only with a j instead of a y. My dd's nickname is Kai as well, so of course I think that's awesome! And what's too funny, is DH's sister's name is Kirsten, which is true that it does get butchered at times here because of the other ways it's pronounced. But I think 4 years of hearing it wrong from the same person would definitely be too long for my patience.

Thank you!

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Joined: 09/15/05
Posts: 115

"The Great Vagina" wrote:

Robin is pretty hawt too...well, from the pictures I've seen...so, I totally believe that "Undress" is too. Smile

Andres. He has the latin hot. Say it. Andres.

LiveFreeOrDie's picture
Joined: 09/15/05
Posts: 115

ps. I can't pronounce my husband's name correctly, either. I should just clarify that to be the case.

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Joined: 12/26/05
Posts: 1147

"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

To the bolded, I have a funny one. A friend works in a pediatricians office, and she has to call and confirm appointments. She had a new patient to call for, and the name was spelled. La-ah. So she (hesitantly) called and said that she was confirming an appointment for "Lah-ah." Nope. The name was "La-dash-ah."

Yeah, urban myth.
http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/le-a.asp

edited to say that I read (skimmed) the rest of the thread and noticed that someone already said that...derp.

Here are some more "names"
http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/names.asp

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