Nursing at Formal event

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ftmom's picture
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Nursing at Formal event

This could turn into a debate so I wanted to put it here, but mostly it is for my info Smile

2 things I know:
#1 bringing a one year old to a formal dinner is a bad idea, and
#2 women should be able to nurse wherever they want.

Having said that, due to circumstances beyond my control, I am taking Trent (13m) to a formal (5 course) dinner tonight. Its ball gowns and suits and I just spent the last 30 min altering my one formal gown so that I can squeeze a breast out if I need to, to breast feed. There will be many speakers at this thing, including a comedian, and I dont really want to miss them, so I was wondering if it is socially acceptable to nurse at the table at something like this (not while eating myself), or if I should take him into another room? Before I fixed my dress I was stressing about not being able to nurse on facebook and another mom, who is bringing her much younger baby, was commenting that she has to practically get half naked to nurse, so will be nursing in the bathroom, which I hate. But I could probably find somewhere private away from the crowd if I had to that wasnt where people pee.

So what do you thing? Yea or Nay to nursing at a formal event?

Oh! And I will be using a cover (I usually dont) because I have to actually remove my breast from my gown to nurse, so I will be covered.

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I think it's fine, since you have a cover, but I think you'll know best once you're there. It's really about your comfort, and how much attention you attract.

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"ftmom" wrote:

This could turn into a debate so I wanted to put it here, but mostly it is for my info Smile

2 things I know:
#1 bringing a one year old to a formal dinner is a bad idea, and
#2 women should be able to nurse wherever they want.

Having said that, due to circumstances beyond my control, I am taking Trent (13m) to a formal (5 course) dinner tonight. Its ball gowns and suits and I just spent the last 30 min altering my one formal gown so that I can squeeze a breast out if I need to, to breast feed. There will be many speakers at this thing, including a comedian, and I dont really want to miss them, so I was wondering if it is socially acceptable to nurse at the table at something like this (not while eating myself), or if I should take him into another room? Before I fixed my dress I was stressing about not being able to nurse on facebook and another mom, who is bringing her much younger baby, was commenting that she has to practically get half naked to nurse, so will be nursing in the bathroom, which I hate. But I could probably find somewhere private away from the crowd if I had to that wasnt where people pee.

So what do you thing? Yea or Nay to nursing at a formal event?

Oh! And I will be using a cover (I usually dont) because I have to actually remove my breast from my gown to nurse, so I will be covered.

I think the question is really yay or nay to a baby being at such an event. If its yay to the baby, then the nursing follows suit.

If you are bringing the baby when you really shouldn't be...thats the actual mistake. If bringing the baby is really okay, then you should be able to nurse the baby while you are there. I wouldn't personally do it in public unless i could be discreet about it. Only because i think at these types of things everything someone does that isn't paying attention to the actual event at hand should be discreet.

ETA: I never personally felt discreet using a cover...i felt very much so that i was drawing attention to myself.

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Okay, actually, I agree with Kim. So there.

ftmom's picture
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lol! I dont think it really is a place for a baby, but we tried to use him to get out of going (cause he is having some massive seperation anxiety right now) and the guy who is organizing it (who happens to be DH's boss) told us to bring him with us. He wont be the only baby, but he will be the oldest, and I'm not even sure I will be able to stay for the whole thing. I mean, they arent going to have a highchair handy and he will want to roam.

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I do not really have an opinion, but I hope you have lots of fun and that everything works out.

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I think it's perfectly acceptable to nurse at a formal event if the organizer has invited you to bring the baby along. I've been to many weddings that were generally 'no kids invited', but the couples made exceptions for nursing infants. That said, while I easily nursed discreetly at the park or mall I don't know how easy it is to get the boob out of a formal gown all while sitting at the table. I personally would just find it easier to do someplace where you don't have to be, ya know, kind of courteous and maybe quiet (like while someone's speaking or whatnot). I'd prefer to just find a comfy couch in the lobby with bit more privacy, in case I had to do some manoevering to get the boobs unleashed. Wink

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Since Trent has pretty much been invited, I think it's fine to nurse him if it's necessary. At that age, I'd try everything else first (take some finger foods & a sippy & a cozy blanket) so long as he wasn't being disruptive, but I'd absolutely whip it out if he needs it. I would probably try to discreetly move to the side or back of the room, because my babies at that age were not very quiet or still or discreet even though I tried to be, kwim? Also try to keep your stroller handy so if he falls asleep, maybe your DH can set the stroller up & you can make a transfer & have your arms free again. Good luck, and have fun!

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Secret Psssst, hey Kyla, Bonita has a question for you....

"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

How did it go? I think we need a picture of you in the ball gown Smile

And the rest of us want to see it, too, LOL! Blum 3

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Yeah. In fact, we haven't seen any recent pics of y'all lately. We should start a picture thread.

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I actually didnt take any of me. We got a really nice one of DH in his serge, and Trent in his little suit. Super cute!

I ended up leaving the room to nurse, but the way it was set up, I was actually just behind a curtain, so could hear everything anyways. Thanks for the stroller suggestion. I ended up taking him for a walk in it outside after dinner and a nurse, and he fell asleep so we could stay later and enjoy some time 'baby free'. Word of advice though: Strappy high heels, and baby do not mix. I did so much more walking than I normally would at that kind of event. I finally took them off and walked around barefoot. I'm classy like that Smile

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Strappy high heels and *me* do not mix, LOL! I don't wear shoes I wouldn't want to walk home in. I'm glad you had a good time, and that you were able to stay after Trent fell asleep!

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"ftmom" wrote:

I actually didnt take any of me. We got a really nice one of DH in his serge, and Trent in his little suit. Super cute!

I ended up leaving the room to nurse, but the way it was set up, I was actually just behind a curtain, so could hear everything anyways. Thanks for the stroller suggestion. I ended up taking him for a walk in it outside after dinner and a nurse, and he fell asleep so we could stay later and enjoy some time 'baby free'. Word of advice though: Strappy high heels, and baby do not mix. I did so much more walking than I normally would at that kind of event. I finally took them off and walked around barefoot. I'm classy like that Smile

Hey, I went barefoot on the dancefloor at my own wedding, you just couldn't tell. Smile

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I'm so done with heels. If I never put on another pair of high heels in my life, I will be happy. I know they make your legs look nice, but DH thinks they are dumb, so I'm not even worried about that aspect of it. Flatz4Life, yo!

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"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

I'm so done with heels. If I never put on another pair of high heels in my life, I will be happy. I know they make your legs look nice, but DH thinks they are dumb, so I'm not even worried about that aspect of it. Flatz4Life, yo!

I am so with you on that. I used to love wearing heels in college but I am so done with them. The only time I would even think about wearing heels was if the length of something was too long and I needed a heel to keep my dress from dragging the ground or something. I am really short so I really could use a few inches but it is just not worth it.

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I have a pair of custom-made orthotics that can go in my dress shoes. They were $500 but I didn't pay. Yay for benefits. I can wear heels with no pain at all.

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I don't even own high heels.

ftmom's picture
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I will say though, that since I started running I have been having some problems with the stabilizing tendons around my knees, and after a night on high heels, they feel much better! I think it is because I was forced to use the muscles they attach to, which helped stretch the tendons out. I have since switched to running off pavement to avoid the problem in the future, but thought it was interesting that heels helped Smile

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I love heels, I kind of have an obsession with them. But every time I wear them I end up in a really bad mood and I think it is because my feet hurt and it is harder to chase my children.

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I wear them in case I can no longer fight the urge to stab a certain coworker in the eyeball with the heel, a la Die Hard. An icicle would probably be most effective, but they're hard to keep frozen at my desk.

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I could never balance in them. I'm a bit of an oaf.

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Me either Laurie. I've got that baby deer thing going on. I'm sure if I walked in them more, I would learn how, but I don't do it because I don't know how, and it's just a self perpetuating cycle. And at this point in my life, I'm happy with the cute flats they have out there.

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"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Me either Laurie. I've got that baby deer thing going on. I'm sure if I walked in them more, I would learn how, but I don't do it because I don't know how, and it's just a self perpetuating cycle. And at this point in my life, I'm happy with the cute flats they have out there.

I can hear Thumper now...."Kinda wobbly, isn't she?"

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"ClairesMommy" wrote:

I wear them in case I can no longer fight the urge to stab a certain coworker in the eyeball with the heel, a la Die Hard. An icicle would probably be most effective, but they're hard to keep frozen at my desk.

That's probably a good reason for me to NOT wear them. I don't often have good self-control before lunch.