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AlyssaEimers's picture
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Off Topic advice

So my 9 year old daughter is going through puberty early. I do not want to ask any ladies that I know in real life, but do you know of any good youtube videos explaining periods? Something with pictures, but that really only deals with girls and not boys? Thanks

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Wish i could offer some suggestions but i don't know any! We talked about it ourselves and Emma also learned about it at school. She was not early though...in fact she is 13 now and still nothing!

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I didn't get mine until I was 16!!

My mom was a nurse so she drew pictures and explained it all really well. There was no internet to look on back then!

Sorry. Good luck!

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I don't know of a video series to recommend. Sorry!

I have talked with my kids about puberty, sex, etc. over the years (age appropriate) but did also enjoy using the American Girl "Care & Keeping of You (1 & 2 -- 2 just goes into more details.) You should be able to find those locally at Barnes & Noble to see if it either would meet your needs.

While I have not used it yet, I also found recommendations for The Body Book (Lily Series) which covers the topic from a Christian perspective.

One last thought -- while having a period is not the most pleasant experience in the world, try not to broach it as a 'woman's curse' as someone I know did. You can incorporate your faith into the discussion and explain how along with all these various changes taking place she IS becoming a woman... and THAT is an incredibly special role. This is a new part of your relationship with your daughter. Give her some extra 1 on 1 time if possible -- such as a mother / daughter lunch or dinner. You both will appreciate it.

Hope this helps!

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Thanks. My mom told me that I was 9 when I started my period, I think she will be as well. When I went to school I remember their being classes that showed pictures of how everything works. Because Alyssa is homeschooled, all that she gets on the subject will come from me. I was hoping to find a really good video to supplement what we talked about. I did find a Disney movie that talked about it, but it is from the 1940's. We have read the Care and Keeping of you book, but I was looking for something more on the biology behind periods. The "Why" of it. Thanks for all the feedback. There really should be an instruction Manuel on these years...

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I just googled and found a couple on youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEM6N0PK8QE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ldx6Nago6I

Looks like there are quite a few out there it might just take some time to wade through them and find one you like.

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=menstrual+cycle

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Thanks. I figured out why I had not been able to search the videos on youtube. There was a safety block on that was blocking most of the videos on it. Once I turned it off, I was able to see several.

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I am going to go out on a limb here, and maybe offer advice that goes beyond what you are asking. Dont use a video, dont use a book. Just have a conversation. My parents just always had talks with us, and all of us felt very comfortable asking questions about all things. My MIL gave DH a book about sex and then said he could ask questions. He felt like when she handed him a book she was saying "I dont feel comfortable having this conversation, so please dont talk to me" He never talked to her at all.
We have talked to our kids very openly about it all along, they are still asking questions and we have all been able to really talk about all the consequences of all the things regarding their body and sex

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"mom3girls" wrote:

I am going to go out on a limb here, and maybe offer advice that goes beyond what you are asking. Dont use a video, dont use a book. Just have a conversation. My parents just always had talks with us, and all of us felt very comfortable asking questions about all things. My MIL gave DH a book about sex and then said he could ask questions. He felt like when she handed him a book she was saying "I dont feel comfortable having this conversation, so please dont talk to me" He never talked to her at all.
We have talked to our kids very openly about it all along, they are still asking questions and we have all been able to really talk about all the consequences of all the things regarding their body and sex

We did have an in depth talk, and have been talking all along, but the books and videos help jump start the discussion. Plus it is kind of hard to explain what an ovary or Fallopian tubes is without some sort of pictures.

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I held off responding to this because I wanted to talk with a friend who is a pediatrician. She said that girls should not start menstruating for at least a year after breast development starts, and breast development should not start much before the age of 10. If it does, it can indicate problems with hormone levels, either from a pituitary gland problem or from too much non-organic animal protein. Early puberty is linked to many health issues in later life, and she said if your daughter is only 9 and already showing signs of puberty, you should talk with her pediatrician because there are tests that should be done and treatments that can delay onset to help prevent future problems.

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"Spacers" wrote:

I held off responding to this because I wanted to talk with a friend who is a pediatrician. She said that girls should not start menstruating for at least a year after breast development starts, and breast development should not start much before the age of 10. If it does, it can indicate problems with hormone levels, either from a pituitary gland problem or from too much non-organic animal protein. Early puberty is linked to many health issues in later life, and she said if your daughter is only 9 and already showing signs of puberty, you should talk with her pediatrician because there are tests that should be done and treatments that can delay onset to help prevent future problems.

Early development is also hereditary. I was nine when I started my period, and had a very large chest young as well. There was nothing wrong, that was just who I was. It has already been a year since she started showing signs of developing. I spoke to my cousin who is a doctor awhile back and she told me (as well as everything I have read on line) that anything after age 8 is within the realm of normal. Just like some people are tall and some people are short, some people develop young and some people develop later. While I do believe there are some cases where something has caused the early development, most cases when the person is the same age that their mother was that is just how they were meant to be. I do not want to make her think she is broken and needs to be fixed.

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"Spacers" wrote:

and breast development should not start much before the age of 10.

I was just going to add that I know tons of girls that start to have breast development at or before age 10.

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"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

I was just going to add that I know tons of girls that start to have breast development at or before age 10.

That's usually because they are overweight, which is a separate health problem.

And pituitary gland problems can also be hereditary, so the fact that you or other family members started menstruating that early doesn't make it normal, it might just mean that maybe you all have the same problem, kwim? And unless your cousin is a ped, she might not be up to date on the current thinking & knowledge about early puberty. Do you really want to subject your DD to the cancers & other health issues related to early puberty just because you don't want her to think she's broken when she might actually have something going wrong that should be fixed to ensure her future health? A simple blood test can give you an answer.

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I disagree with you Stacie, I have had this conversation with a number of doctors, including my ob/gyn, and it is not always a weight issue or hormone issue if they start puberty. Those 2 issues can contribute to early onset puberty but there is also a large number of kids that fall on the early side of "normal" My niece is 15 and just started to develop and our pediatrician just says she is on the late side of normal.

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"Spacers" wrote:

That's usually because they are overweight, which is a separate health problem.

And pituitary gland problems can also be hereditary, so the fact that you or other family members started menstruating that early doesn't make it normal, it might just mean that maybe you all have the same problem, kwim? And unless your cousin is a ped, she might not be up to date on the current thinking & knowledge about early puberty. Do you really want to subject your DD to the cancers & other health issues related to early puberty just because you don't want her to think she's broken when she might actually have something going wrong that should be fixed to ensure her future health? A simple blood test can give you an answer.

My cousin is a family doctor and she treats children as well as adults.

Alyssa is not in any way overweight. Neither was I at her age. Every reputable website I have seen says that it is perfectly normal for a 9 year old to be going through puberty.

All About Puberty
Puberty
Puberty - Planned Parenthood
What's Happening to my Body? - HealthyChildren.org
Puberty and Girls - What to Expect When Girls Hit Puberty

Speaking from experience as someone who develop early I can tell you that you already feel like a freak show to have these big boobs when none of your friends do. I think it would be the worst possible thing for her to tell her that she is not normal and that something could be wrong with her.

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In my experience and my reading, it is not necessarily abnormal, it's just on the early side of the early side. (I was on the late side of the late side.)

It's always tough on the first one to go through puberty as well as the last; the main thing is to talk to her about that specific issue. My mom was great about explaining to me that I was going to be a late bloomer, puberty-wise, so I didn't worry that there was something wrong with me.

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I do agree with Laurie that is very hard to be on the late side of normal. My niece is struggling. My 12 almost13 year old only wears a bra so that she can hide the fact that she is not developing. I was asked on a regular if I was a boy all the way through middle school and into my sophomore

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"mom3girls" wrote:

I do agree with Laurie that is very hard to be on the late side of normal. My niece is struggling. My 12 almost13 year old only wears a bra so that she can hide the fact that she is not developing. I was asked on a regular if I was a boy all the way through middle school and into my sophomore

The boys in middle school used to call me "Flat Tires" and say "Maybe one day you'll get a spare tire!"

Good times.

Not.