OT - Aaaarrrrrrrgh, I am dying of sleep deprivation

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Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427
OT - Aaaarrrrrrrgh, I am dying of sleep deprivation

In a nice dovetail to the "happy or miserable" thread, I am dying over here.

Reid. Love him to peices with all of my heart, but he is going to be the death of me.

He's 4 months old, and he has learned to roll from his back to his tummy. He can also sometimes roll from him tummy to his back, but that is less consistent. I bet some of you know where this is going already.

So he hates tummy time. Always has. No matter how long it's been since he last ate, he ALWAYS throws up when he's on his tummy. It's just inevitable, like death and taxes. Tummy Time = Throw Up Time. Still, we've dutifully done it every day, even though neither of us get any joy out of the experience. Lately though, he has been rolling on his tummy and then getting stuck there, and then he starts crying because he hates being on his tummy. I let him stay stuck for a few minutes hoping that the injustice of it all will give him Hulk Strength and he'll learn to roll back onto his back again. Sometimes it works. Most of the time he stays on his tummy crying and puking until I give up and roll him back over. Then he promptly rolls onto his tummy again, and we start the whole thing over again. I don't mind that so much during the day. We've been going through a ton of blankets every day because of all of the spitting up, and I wish it was more fun for us, but other than that, whatever. This too shall pass.

The problem is, he does it at night too. On one hand, I don't really want him sleeping on his tummy anyway because I'm still scared of SIDS, so I suppose I should be grateful that he wakes up and alerts me so I can come roll him back over onto his back. On the other hand, ZOMG. We have been getting up every hour on the hour for nights and nights now because every hour he rolls over onto his tummy and wakes up screaming to be rescued. Also, he's always been really tough to get to sleep. I have tried the whole "putting him down drowsy but awake" thing about half a zillion times, and still the only way I've ever found to get him to sleep involves rocking and nursing. Occassionally now he will fall asleep sucking his thumb instead of nursing, but there still needs to be rocking. So I'm up every hour, rocking him back to sleep, laying him back down, spending a few minutes going back to sleep myself, only to be woken up again in about 40 minutes. I. am. DYING. I woke up for work this morning feeling like I had been on an all night tequila bender or something - pounding headache, upset stomach, the works.

I asked his ped about it at his four month appt on Friday, and he suggested rolled up receiving blankets on either side of him to keep him from rolling, but I don't want to do that because I'm worried he will smother himself. He doesn't just roll in his sleep, he also moves all over the crib; he's usually flipped around 180 degrees and all the way in one of the corners of crib by the time I go get him, even though I always leave him in the center of the thing. So adding blankets or a sleep positioner to that whole mix just sounds like a bad idea to me.

I do NOT remember this with T. Maybe I blocked it out in some sort of sleep deprived last bid to hold on to my sanity?

I'm losing it over here. Please, no one tell me to be grateful as I rock my sweet baby back to sleep for the 6th time tonight, because I will fashion a voodoo doll out of crumpled burp clothes and tears and name it after you.

Joined: 05/13/02
Posts: 414

I'm so sorry you're going through this :(. Does he like to be swaddled?

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

I understand your pain. Robbie was up to eat every 2 hours for 2 years, he suddenly started STTN on his second birthday. For quite some time I would just bring him into our bed and hold him, Sean hated it but I needed sleep. No real suggestions for you but :bigarmhug:

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3189

Oh no!

Our pediatrician said it was fine for Juliet to sleep on her tummy once we realized that was what made her happy.

Is he too big already to swaddle? Juliet hated that but Nathaniel loved it.

I wouldn't force him to do tummy time if he doesn't like it, though.

Mostly I just have tremendous sympathy. Neither of mine were good sleepers as babies and Juliet still gets into our bed a few nights a week.

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

I dont know what your feelings are about it, but I would bring him to bed with me if he was mine. In fact, my babe ends up in bed with us every night at some point. With DS1 it was the only way I could get some sleep.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3189

When I was nursing Juliet I'd have her in bed with me and let her fall asleep while nursing. I was desperate.

As a friend told me once, "With newborns/young babies, it's all about survival."

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4100

That's why I co-slept with both of mine. I needed my sleep more than anything else. ITA with your hesitation about rolled-up blankets, and I say shame on your ped for even suggesting that! :shock: However, there are sleep positioners that *are* safe and I think you should try one. Also try setting up the crib as a co-sleeper so you can just reach over & roll him back over without having to get out of bed or even really wake up, kwim? (((hugs)))

Here's an example of a good sleep positioner. It says "side sleeping" but you can adjust it wider. Baby's body goes in it with his head & arms above one end of the pads and legs below the other end. When babies move in their sleep, they scoot up, not down, so there's pretty much no danger of it getting near his face. And even if he does manage to wiggle all the way back around to it, the shape of the pads still gives him plenty of room to breathe even if his face is right up against it. And if he's next to you in a co-sleeper, you'll probably sense him wiggling around and be able to get him back into it before he can scooted back around. And maybe just being closer to you might reduce the amount of wiggling he does? Babies are hard-wired to find their mamas, after all, something to think about.
Amazon.com: NEW Baby Infant Safe Side-sleeping Pillow F: Baby

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

Well, if you had had your children when you were 16 you would be treasuring these nights, Alissa.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

Kidding!

I always found 4 months to be a difficult time. For me, that was when I transitioned all of my babies FROM cosleeping into their own cribs, as it was when a sleep schedule started to naturally develop for them as far as daytime sleep went. It was also a time where they had SO MUCH going on developmentally that I found them going through rough nighttime sleep. Is he sleeping on any sort of schedule during the day? Like a routine morning/afternoon nap and maybe a late afternoon catnap?

For me, putting them down to sleep early (like, 6:30 or 6:45) and consistently helped tremendously. I also moved AWAY from a swaddle at this time as with my babies it seemed to frustrate them as they seemed to like to be able to reach their own hands for comfort or to be able to roll as they saw fit. Personally I didn't worry about tummy sleeping once they were able to roll.

Its rough. I don't have any real suggestions other than to try to be REALLY strict with daytime schedules (i.e make sure that he is on one) and not in the car during or around his napping times to ensure that he is getting good, solid chunks of daytime sleep, and also good, active "awake" times with plenty of stimulation to help those naps be actual tired times.

Sorry Mama and I hope that you and he both get through this quickly! xoxo

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4100

Oh yeah, make sure the daycare isn't letting him sleep too much during the day. Tiven set herself on a good day schedule, she would sleep for four hours after lunch like clockwork, wait for me to get home & nurse, and then stay up & play with us until bedtime. Weston was a different child, he would sleep all freaking day, and my DH would let him. Drove me freaking batty. DH didn't want to wake him up, especially since it was easier on him! It took me literally screaming that I was going to kick him out of house if he didn't wake Weston up after a couple of hours before he changed, ugh, my stomach is in knots just remembering that. My sister actually had to switch my nephew because her first daycare lady was leaving him in a swing to sleep all afternoon.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Thanks for the suggestions and sympathy everyone. Smile Yeah, I just weaned him off of the swaddle because he was breaking out of it every night anyway, and I also wanted him to be able to use his arms if he did roll. I also just got him into his crib a couple of weeks ago. Gah!

That's a good point about the consistent schedule. He is at daycare 5 days a week, so I need to do a better job of coordinating with her about when she does naps and feeding. I'm loosey goosey on the weekends, like "it's been about an hour and a half and you seem kind of starey and tired so we'll do a nap now" instead of going by a strict schedule. I should ask her what she does...

Stacey - luckily I am not worried that the daycare lady lets him sleep all day. I don't think he has his days and nights confused, I just think that he is waking up when he rolls over because it makes him throw up. Sad Poor fella.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Sleep, glorious sleep! He only got up once last night! Please please please mean that this phase is passing. I just checked on him and he's asleep on his tummy. I'm thinking I'm going to just have to get past my fear of that. It's funny, we went to dinner at my parents house last night and there were several women from my mom's generation there (my SIL's mother as well as her aunt.) I was telling them about it and they were very sympathetic to the waking up crying part, but you could tell that none of them had any clue why I fret about him sleeping on his tummy. They were all "we put all of you kids on your tummy on purpose..."

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3312

Glad you got a good night's sleep! In a week or so I bet he'll have the rolling both ways down pat and he'll be able to flip whichever which way he wants without help! I do not miss the sleepless nights.

When i originally read your thread, i wanted to offer advice....but i seemed to have purged a lot of 'baby skillz' from my memory banks. Seriously...i know it hasn't been THAT long ago, but my brain is like "oh...she's done with this. Delete delete delete!"

All i kept coming up with is "That's a tough stage, but it will pass" which is NOT helpful LOL.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3189

So glad you got sleep.

And yes, parents of previous generations do not understand why we freak out about tummy sleeping. My pediatrician also said it really wasn't a big deal. Once the babies are old enough to move their heads, it's not really a big deal. We were going nuts because Juliet hated sleeping on her back.

I hope the good sleep continues! IT'S SO HARD. I remember it really well, it turned me into a nutball (well..more of a nutball than usual).

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

I swear the only reason I remember all that baby stuff so well is because I've kept a blog since my oldest was born. Something about writing it all down solidified it all in my brain really well. Or something.

So now you know the trick Alissa, write about your woes on the internet and they will fix right up. Remember, however, that it can work in the reverse way as well! Tricky babies!

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1535

Alissa I got nothing. I had one that puked every time we even thought about putting her on her belly and she did the same thing, would roll over but then get stuck on her stomach and puke. It was ever more special because she would rub her face and hair in the puke while frantically trying to get on her back. She just stopped one night, I think about the time when she got to the point of being consistent with being able to get off her belly. Good luck you got all my empathy, that time frame sucked

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

Robbie was often sleeping on his tummy in the NICU so when he got home he wanted that too. A lot harder at home where I had no monitors, but once he was rolling I was not so worried.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3189

Okay, my favorite Juliet baby story:

Juliet was a new-ish baby and she couldn't roll over yet. I wanted her in our room but the bassinet had gotten too small for her, so I took the mattress out of the crib (which was already in her room and too hard to take apart & reassemble, which we'd need to do to move it) and put it on the floor next to our bad. She was a wee thing, so I put her in the middle of it, watched her sleep, saw she didn't move around at all, and felt like it was a safe place for her.

In the middle of the night I woke up suddenly: NO JULIET! I freaked! (I was hormonal as well of course.) I looked down, thinking I'd lost my mind...still no baby.

Then I saw two wee feet sticking out from under our bed (which is raised up off the floor). I reached down and slid her out by the ankle.

Needless to say she slept in the crib or in our bed with me after that.

Omg.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

OMG Laurie! I would FREAK! LOL

Up twice last night. I feel like we're moving away from some of the issues though, because I noticed that he has started self soothing again. Before about a week ago, I had to rock and nurse him to get him really sleepy, but then once he was out if he woke back up while I was laying him in the crib he would just roll on his side and start sucking his thumb and go right back to sleep. Also, if he woke in the night I would hear him whimper for a minute, and then stop almost right away. When I would go to check on him, he was always sucking on his thumb again. So that was great. But then like a week ago, it's like he forgot all about that, so on top of the rolling he also wasn't self soothing at all, and it was murder to get him down each time, and every time he woke up he needed me to put him back to sleep. Last night he woke up when I laid him down, and he did the roll on his side/suck his thumb routine, so at least I feel like we are getting a little bit back to normal. Ah babies!

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6561

When Alyssa and Brianna were babies I never would have dreamed of putting them on their tummys to sleep. With Caitlyn that was the only way should would sleep. I never thought of it being from the NICU, but it probably was. We bought an Angel Care Monitor with her. I am sure I would not have gotten any sleep at all without it.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4100

I never really worried about my babies being on their bellies but they were both big, strong, and had good head control from birth. The biggest risk with young babies on their bellies is that the weight of their own bodies can keep their lungs from expanding, and that just didn't feel like a problem with mine. And I didn't worry about them scooting into something because they would just move their head or their whole body away. I pretty much gave birth to 3-month-olds, LOL! I always put them down on their backs, but if they wouldn't settle down, I'd flip them over and then they'd be out like a light. I would also put their thumbs in their mouths if they woke up at night; if they just needed to suck something without being hungry, I'd much rather they do it on a thumb than on me.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3189

We never mastered the art of the sleeping baby. I think we were just too jumpy ourselves and they could smell our parental fear.

Juliet still gets up in the night and comes to visit me. I am always much too tired to send her back upstairs, plus she's very cuddly and the time will come when she has no interest in snuggling, so I just make the best of it, although we reward her with a later bedtime when she hasn't come down for a couple of nights.

Babies? Oy. I never slept. My own sleep hasn't been the same since the day Nathaniel was born anyway. But both kids were super early risers as babies and sometimes woke up constantly all night, just to drive us bonkers. Good thing they're so cute.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

"freddieflounder101" wrote:

We never mastered the art of the sleeping baby. I think we were just too jumpy ourselves and they could smell our parental fear.

That made me laugh. Like dogs or bees...

Joined: 05/13/02
Posts: 414

Dh had no idea how easy we had it...I think he must have thought they would come out sleeping right through the night Wink . Luckily they all slept through the night around 6-8 weeks. Matt was the one who LOVED to be swaddled. He still wraps himself up in his blanket or bedspread every night like a burrito.

fuchsiasky's picture
Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 955

So glad he is sleeping better. These little ones just don't understand how much we need sleep!