I am so happy the messes my kids make dont bother me. My sister cant handle it, it really makes her a little crazy. She sends her kids over here for crafts or learning how to cook. I really think she wants to do those things with her kids, and would love to do it but it seems to be a physical reaction for her
I didn't know how to cook well when we got married but I learned. I had some basic skills like eggs, pasta etc. and I read online, cookbooks, asked mom etc. I always liked to bake so that was fine. My mom was a SAHM so she cooked most of the time.
Other than that I felt prepared. DH knows how to do a lot...cook, laundry etc. but had NO money skills at all. His parents paid his bills until he was 23-24 (and we were dating.). He had no bank account and just gave his mom money. I was floored. They wanted to track what he was spending money on. He had no credit and no idea what to do. All 3 of their kids. Was so weird to me.
Also, as a side note...please teach your children how to navigate insurance and doctors visits. Once they are 18 you don't get any information and they can be clueless. It's amazing to me how many young people with full time jobs just have NO idea on records, insurance coverages etc.
Originally Posted by mom3girls
I will say they created a total physical reaction at first for me as well. Like, playdoh??? Pure crazy. The mixing of colors? I am 100% certain there was a reason I accidentally had my first two 13 months apart..... I had to get over ALL of my perfectionism. I think that it was a blessing, seriously. I hate mess. But when I know that the mess is for a reason, like ~ we are making this thing ~ it's okay. I do understand the unwillingness to make messes, but mess with a purpose, and mess that gets cleaned up, I can deal with. So anal. :)
My parents never taught me anything - my Mum did everything. Also, nothing ever needed doing because she would get up at stupid o'clock every AM and do it all! Anything I was made to do as a teenager, I don't like doing as an adult. For example, changing my bedding. Honestly, that has to be the biggest 'chore' to me.
I can't cook either, as in throw stuff together and make something delicious. I can cook the regular spag bol, sausage and mash but I'm not imaginitive in the kitchen and neither were my parents. That's the suckiest part for me.
Whenever I clean, DD wants to help. I will give her a duster and spray polish for her and she loves to clean it up. She tries to help me make the beds but is still little so gets mad when she can't do it properly haha. She knows how to work my washing machine, but that's just from me telling her which buttons to press when she has helped me load laundry. I like to think that she will be like this as an adult, but who knows!
"Stupid o'clock" made me laugh.
Sometimes I think I get up a stupid o'clock but probably stupid o'clock is about an hour earlier. (I'm up at 6:30.)
Yeah but 6:30 is "stupid enough o'clock" if you ask me :)
Originally Posted by freddieflounder101
That's how it feels! Stupid!
Originally Posted by KimPossible
And every Wednesday I THINK I'm going to get up and go to 6 a.m. yoga, and I don't. It would be smart, but the hour is too stupid.
I love Jessica's point re insurance.. been having the go around lately as they changed it without notifying us... My biggest point for my kids will be to call yearly and understand your benefits/costs etc.
I was taught hard work, how to clean the home and stack wood for example.. also that saving and giving were important.. but my father can't fix things, so not a handy man, though he did built us a fort when kids... he always had a hard time changing oil. I learned all mechanics from my fix it husband who is amazing in that way.
Cooking I wasn't taught.. was allowed to do some.. but mom was a horrible cook.. she kept us fed but would cook beans for hours.. as she would start veggies before the meat.. she rarely seasoned the meat etc. My husband turned into my guinea pig, and I gathered recipes always having Top Raman or hotdogs or hamburgers on hand.. And in turn he was loving and honest told me what he liked and what he didn't.. I now have a group of tried and true recipes our family loves.
For my kids.. they have ALWAYS had chores.. at 2-3yo they were picking up their stuff.. with help, and helping me to put away dishes.. I have pictures of them helping with laundry at 4-5. Now my 11yo does all the dishes (I help him scrape off the nasty stuff still, as with the new soap for dw'rs they don't clean well. My almost 10yo does all the laundry (gathers, sorts, washes, dries, puts away his, puts towels etc away, puts his brothers in his room, and mine in my room.. he folds everything but his brothers). They know HOW to do almost all common chores.. and since they are home most days all day it is important for them to help with the upkeep even more.
They are learning this year to start and run the riding lawn mower. They weed/water/plant the garden with me. They harvest fruits.. they run the property and neighboors gathering berries for pies.. etc.. and will be helping me pick come apple time. They are adept in kitchen tools like knives and can prep most foods.. like dicing onion, or pealing potatoes.. They help cook when I ask, or they want to.. we made ice cream and cherry pie from scratch yesterday. They both know how to fry eggs..scramble eggs, toast bread, and heat up anything in a can, and read box instructions, and read a recipe.. WE just got a new oven that has issues so we are relearning that together. They helped a lot last year canning pears.. and will again come fall with the pears and salsa making.. and apples for jelly/sauce etc. We have a huge shop (hanger actually) and know more about planes than any other children, simply because we built one, and have owned 3. DH has tons of tools, and they are allowed to use them, but must replace them.. It warms my heart but it is a bit frightening for a momma to let their 11 yo use a band saw, but he does, as well as the electric sander/drill etc. Since DH is a fix it all type.. they help him a LOT.. bring him tools.. Right now we are working on the bathroom, they have helped him work on installing new toilets/pick out paint.. help clean, tape, mud paint etc.
I think the biggest thing.. if you don't have the skills or time to teach the kiddos, is to at least give them a LOVE of learning.. and ability to find the answer themselves.. That is something my parents did. And Even though doing ones laundry or cooking great meals can be learned later.. it is the want/desire/drive and perserverence.. (Character Traits) that are even more important than the skills.
They kids do get an allowance but it is minimal.. though they love it.. it started at .75 a few years ago.. and now is $2 a week. They now tithe 10% to the church or other Christian organization... or even friends that need it.. missionaries etc. Then they are pretty much left to decide what they want to do with it.. BUT.. I teach them when we go to the store, what things are worth. We are a low income family so I discuss purchases with them..we do frequent garage sales, thrift stores etc.. we discuss when to buy something new.. and why.. what warranties mean..etc. If you let your kids into your own head it teaches them a lot I think. We look at ads, use coupons when we can. They have their own bank accounts, and my grandma also gave them money that they put there. They also have a wonderful opportunity because my father owns a business they can earn money at. My youngest is amazingly strong and hardworking.. and can and has topped highschool boys in wood stacking.. blows my mind as he isn't large. With all that.. they have managed amazingly to save quite a bit just in their savings they have about 600ish each I would guess. They could earn more if I could get them to my father's more. They also worked together and split the cost to buy the set of Ben 10 DVDs they had been wanting.. I HELPED them choose where to buy them.. (Amazon) and was able to get them free shipping by putting items I needed for their schooling with it. Which they thought was great.. but they had to wait a MONTH for me to be able to get them... I think this was wonderful... they learn many things this way.. just living.
I wish I could give my children more money.. but figure if I can offer what I can.. when I can.. and then teach them well how to be able to afford what they need/want.. and the difference.. it is better than if I just gave them more money.
Off to finish working on the bathroom today... oh and put away the canned pie filling we canned up yesterday.
Sorry for the book.. how is that for a crazy train wreck train of thought.. lol enjoy!