Preparing kids to live independently - Page 5
+ Reply to Thread
Page 5 of 6 FirstFirst 123456 LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 51
Like Tree14Likes

Thread: Preparing kids to live independently

  1. #41
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Edmonton, Alberta
    Posts
    5,822

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica80 View Post
    Also, as a side note...please teach your children how to navigate insurance and doctors visits. Once they are 18 you don't get any information and they can be clueless. It's amazing to me how many young people with full time jobs just have NO idea on records, insurance coverages etc.
    So glad we don't have to deal with that here. For extended benefits most companies here will go until the child is 25 as long as they are a student, otherwise I think our current policy cuts off at 21. I would hate to deal with the American health care system.
    Margaret (44)
    Sean (38 )
    Robbie (8 )
    Bailey (April 2, 2011)


    "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." Caroline Myss

  2. #42
    Posting Addict
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Posts
    23,461

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica80 View Post
    Also, as a side note...please teach your children how to navigate insurance and doctors visits. Once they are 18 you don't get any information and they can be clueless. It's amazing to me how many young people with full time jobs just have NO idea on records, insurance coverages etc.
    I still don't know how to navigate insurance. I have a great policy at work but I just do what I'm told and that's that. I find it all baffling.
    Laurie, mom to:
    Nathaniel ( 10 ) and Juliet ( 7 )




    Baking Adventures In A Messy Kitchen (blog)

  3. #43
    Mega Poster raingirl28's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    3,417

    Default

    I have to say, at least before my mother had her mental breakdown, she did teach me to bake. We baked something almost daily starting from when I was really little.

    I did learn my lesson though about ingredients when I was very young. My mother never labelled any jars/containers. Sugar, flour, salt, etc, were all in tupperware type containers. I remember I was making Kraft classic peanut butter cookies and I accidentally used 1 cup salt instead of 1 cup sugar! Now I taste my white crystal ingredients just in case!!
    Rachael & Rob 08/10/08
    Destiny isn't a matter of chance, it's a matter of choice.
    6 years, 3 REs, 2 surgeries, 5 IUIs, success on the 5th try!
    Baby Girl Rowan ~ Dec 10, 2013 ~


  4. #44
    Posting Addict fuchsiasky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    British Columbia
    Posts
    5,925

    Default

    We grew up learning how to take care of ourselves. My mom raised us by herself and wanted us to be able to be independent. By 12 I could take care of the house and prepare all the meals. We didn't have to do it all ourselves, but she made sure we could. By the time I moved out I was able to deal with all of the financials and my schooling. I am very glad that she taught us all that she did.

    Now I look at our kids. DSS (19) doesn't know how to do much. I think his mom tried to teach him but he resisted. He lives on noodles and take out and doesn't clean. It is a big part of why he no longer lives with us. He needs to learn that if you want to eat, you do have to cook! DSD (16) also resists having to cook or clean for herself. Her mom feels that it is an adults job to take care of the house and meals and children shouldn't have to. To this day she still makes DSD's lunches and cleans up after her. (Sigh) When I met DSD when she was 8 she wasn't allowed to use a knife or make herself any food at her moms. DH tried to teach her more but she always said she didn't have to cause her mom said so. I have disputed that for years and still have to fight the girl to help out a little. She can do it, but tries to choose not to. I keep insisting that she does have to help!

    So with all of that we are choosing to teach Kaiya differently. I refuse to have a child who cannot or does not take care of herself! I insist that she helps to clean. I insist that she learns to dress herself. At 4 she can make herself a sandwich or get her own snack from the fridge (yay!). She wants to learn how to take care of herself so I am jumping on it now! I want to know that she will be able to rely on herself as she grows up. I don't want her living off noodles like her siblings. So as she grows her responsibilities will grow too.
    Me- Fuchsia
    My Wonderful Partner - Rob
    DD - December 17 2008
    DSD 15
    DSS 18
    Feline Furbabies - Sophie and Indigo

    Little Babe 22/12/05


  5. #45
    Community Host
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    13,533

    Default

    As an aside I just signed my older two girls up for a new co-op. One of their first classes will be a cooking class (along with PE). I am so excited for them to take the class.
    freddieflounder101 likes this.

    ~Bonita~

  6. #46
    Posting Addict fuchsiasky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    British Columbia
    Posts
    5,925

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KimPossible View Post
    See the notion that someone can't cook because they weren't taught during their childhood is kind of foreign to me. I think its something an adult can learn to do. Not everyone will become a fancy super spectacular cook, but i think everyone can learn enough to feed themselves or their family fine...at any age. As a parent, i think its highly convenient to equip my kids with the basics though!
    I don't think it is that people cannot learn these things later. It is just that if you don't learn to do housework, cooking etc routinely then it can be harder to get used to as an adult. It is easier to be a slob if you are not used to doing for yourself.
    Me- Fuchsia
    My Wonderful Partner - Rob
    DD - December 17 2008
    DSD 15
    DSS 18
    Feline Furbabies - Sophie and Indigo

    Little Babe 22/12/05


  7. #47
    Posting Addict fuchsiasky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    British Columbia
    Posts
    5,925

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GloriaInTX View Post

    I can tell you exactly what happens if you don't teach them that though, because my 22 year old stepson is still living at home because DH didn't teach him to be independent. He spent at least half of the last 3 years at home playing video games because he claimed he couldn't find a job even though he was too lazy to actually go look for one. He went to community college for a semester and flunked out. He currently has a part time job but contributes nothing to the household because his Dad enables his entitlement attitude. DH bought him a $9000 car in his name because he couldn't qualify for a loan that my stepson is making payments on, but he doesn't even contribute a penny toward groceries or anything, and barely helps around the house. His only responsibility is taking out the trash and cleaning his bathroom and he won't even do that until I force him to. It is so frustrating to me that he has no sense of obligation or responsibility and is perfectly happy living off Dad. (and me)
    This sounds just like my stepson. All he does is play video games and feels he is entitled to do so. He no longer lives with us. It got to be too much and we kicked him out once he had a job (that we forced him to get). I was appalled at how he treated us and the nothing he expected to be able to do!
    Me- Fuchsia
    My Wonderful Partner - Rob
    DD - December 17 2008
    DSD 15
    DSS 18
    Feline Furbabies - Sophie and Indigo

    Little Babe 22/12/05


  8. #48
    Posting Addict GloriaInTX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Dallas, TX
    Posts
    7,597

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fuchsiasky View Post
    This sounds just like my stepson. All he does is play video games and feels he is entitled to do so. He no longer lives with us. It got to be too much and we kicked him out once he had a job (that we forced him to get). I was appalled at how he treated us and the nothing he expected to be able to do!
    I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees it that way. I have been past the point of kicking him out long ago and if he was my own son it would have already happened. I just keep hoping DH will come to realize that he is not doing him any favors letting him live like that with no ambition to do something with his life.
    Mom to Lee, Jake, Brandon, Rocco
    Stepmom to Ryan, Regan, Braden, Baley
    Granddaughters Kylie 10/18/2010 & Aleya 4/22/2013


    I never consider a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosopy, as a cause for withdrawing from a friend. --Thomas Jefferson

  9. #49
    Posting Addict fuchsiasky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    British Columbia
    Posts
    5,925

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GloriaInTX View Post
    I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees it that way. I have been past the point of kicking him out long ago and if he was my own son it would have already happened. I just keep hoping DH will come to realize that he is not doing him any favors letting him live like that with no ambition to do something with his life.
    Same thing happened with us. I would have kicked the boy (no, not man!) out about 8 months before we actually did. DH needed time to come to the understanding that his son was harming our family and that he needed to kick him out. When it did happen (cause he was a bully to his sisters) it was explosive! But it was worth it. We are all (DSS included) much happier with him living on his own. And he no longer has parents telling him what to do which makes him happier. But, boy was that a hard process!
    GloriaInTX likes this.
    Me- Fuchsia
    My Wonderful Partner - Rob
    DD - December 17 2008
    DSD 15
    DSS 18
    Feline Furbabies - Sophie and Indigo

    Little Babe 22/12/05


  10. #50
    Prolific Poster
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    2,219

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mom2robbie View Post
    So glad we don't have to deal with that here. For extended benefits most companies here will go until the child is 25 as long as they are a student, otherwise I think our current policy cuts off at 21. I would hate to deal with the American health care system.
    Dependents are now on the majority of health plans until age 26. Parents still cannot ask about anything to do with their claims after age 18 as they are protected under HIPAA.
    Mom to Elizabeth (6) and Corinne (4)

+ Reply to Thread
Page 5 of 6 FirstFirst 123456 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
v -->

About Us | Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Sitemap | Terms & Conditions