Protective parenting

11 posts / 0 new
Last post
wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796
Protective parenting

Ok.

Long story; Shortened debate question below. We have Monkey Joes here which has a few bounce houses solely dedicated to those under the age of 3. There are two that I consider the "big kids" because they are hard for even my athletic son to navigate. And about 3 more that are in between. My large 4 year old was jumping over the rail in the big kid one that has a basketball goal. I had asked him to move out of the 3 in between ones several times because people kept putting their little bitties in with the big kids. So when a mom and dad put in a baby that couldn't walk and a toddler that probably weighed less than my 7 month old, I raised my eyebrows and expected one of them to get in with them. Neither did though they were both in their socks and their are plenty of signs saying it's allowed. I told J to be careful really really really loudly because there were babies in there with him. The parents smiled at me. So of course J kept bouncing over the railing and the toddler tried to climb it at the same time which resulted in a lot of tears. I called for Jason and the dad actually looked at me and said "that's fine if you don't care". Like I was being neglectful. It kind of aggravated me and I went ahead and made J apologize though I really was thinking the dad/mom owed their kid the apology. What really upset me was J didn't have a nap today and he'd been trying so hard to be good and actually hadn't done anything wrong but it was the last bounce house not full of toddlers (Sunday is usually empty but it rained today) which meant we left.

Anyway, that's the background.

Debate Question: In situations where big kids are thrown in with little kids, which set of parents is more responsible for ensuring the safety of the little kids?

Joined: 08/17/04
Posts: 2226

When it is something made for bigger kids it is the responsibility of the parents of the smaller child. If it is for both than you both have the responsibility to make sure your kid is acting appropriately. It wasn't your kids fault that their kid did something he wasn't supposed to do.

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
Posts: 781

Both set of parents are responsible to do their part. Accidents happen though and that's what I try to remember if one occurs when Jace is playing. Sometimes both kids and parents have to learn the "hard" way.

fuchsiasky's picture
Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 955

Both parents are responsible for making sure their kids are acting appropriately. Big kids do need to be aware of the kids (of all sizes) around them. But it is also the parent responsibility to make sure that their child is capable of playing in the bigger toys before letting them in solo. If they can't do it by themselves then a parent should be in there with them or they shouldn't go in.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6697

Both parents are responsible for their own children. I would not put my 4 year old in a play area that was for children ages 3 or less unless no younger child wanted to play. If a younger child showed up and it was a problem we would leave. There is a large Children's museum here. There is a huge indoor play area for children of all ages. Then there is a small room that is dedicated solely for children under the age of 4. I would be frustrated if the play area for younger children was full of older children that made it so we had no where to go. IMO, there are many places for big kids to play. There are only a few areas for little tots to play. That said, it is your own fault if you put your baby in with big kids and they get hurt. It is always your first responsibility to ensure your child's safety.

smsturner's picture
Joined: 05/11/09
Posts: 1303

Both. Definitely.

I have to say I wish my kids would have gone and played with other kids like those ones seem to. It's a flash of how different mine are. It's nice that yours play with others and that they all get along even if an accident happens here and there.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4104

The parents of the littler ones since they are the ones more likely to get hurt and less likely to be able/willing to follow safety instructions. I remind Weston to watch out for littler kids and to be gentle & go slowly near them, and I would never dream of taking *him* away just because an accident happened. I'm also the mouthy ***** who will tell someone else, "You might want to keep a better eye on that baby because this is the big kid area!" :oops:

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6697

Am I misunderstanding the OP (Quite possible)? Was it a large 4 year old playing in an area that was designed for only children ages 3 and under?

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

no. the ittie bitties were placed in what I consider the big kids. my son was the largest kid there at 4 and all of the other ones were full. That was the last one that was empty.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6697

That would make a huge difference in my opinion. If it was an area that was open to all ages, then I would say as you were there first, you would not be expected to move just because a younger child showed up, and it would be their responsibility to keep their child safe (Although a good opportunity to teach how to play with others). If the area was clearly labeled as for children ages 3 and under (how I read your OP), then I would say if a younger child showed up, you would need to leave.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

That would make a huge difference in my opinion. If it was an area that was open to all ages, then I would say as you were there first, you would not be expected to move just because a younger child showed up, and it would be their responsibility to keep their child safe (Although a good opportunity to teach how to play with others). If the area was clearly labeled as for children ages 3 and under (how I read your OP), then I would say if a younger child showed up, you would need to leave.

I agree with this.

We have a play area that we like to go to called JumpStreet that has a special section marked "7 and under." It has bouncy castles and huge trampolines and whatnot. It's funny, because I often see both sides of the issue there. On one hand, at 4, T is usually NOT the biggest kid there, since he's in with 5, 6, and 7 year olds, some of whom are quite wild. In that case, I tell T to be careful and give them space, but I also expect the older kids (and their parents) to be somewhat aware of their surroundings because there are a lot of kids that are smaller than them there. I don't think that it's acceptable for big kids to just run around and knock little kids over, ever really. On the other hand, there are also kids there that are much smaller than T (some people let their just barely-wakling toddlers in there without going in with them) and that's a little nerve racking too because they really aren't able to watch out for themselves. I always tell T to watch out for the babies and be careful, and the one time he did knock one down he apologized and gave her a hug. I also agree with Deniz that part of it is just going in with an understanding that accidents happen, and unless your kid intentionally knocks someone down (or some other kid intentionally knocks your kid down) that it's just an accident and it's probably not the end of the world.