Race-based request NCIU

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Originally Posted by Potter75

And this attitude is a huge reason for multiple problems in our country. When we start saying "when you are lucky enough to have insurance paying for your child to be taken care of by world class Dr's in a world class hospital you should be GRATEFUL for qualified care instead of indulging every racist or otherwise ridiculous request by every entitled parent" perhaps things will get a little more balanced in this country. Sorry, but just because octomom chose to stuff her uterus full of babies who need NICU care or people who chronically deliver preemies and choose to keep having them get extended NICU stays the idea that you somehow get to handpick the care you get 100% of the time is nothing short of bratty.

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Except that is not what she was saying. She clearly stated that the hospital has the right to say no, but that you have the right to request any stupid thing you want. I agree with her. I dont think the father is to blame here (though I do think he is a racist jerk). The hospital should have said no, or we will do what we can, but cant guarantee anything. But he did have the right to ask.

Being in the hospital is an incredibly trying time. Having a baby in the hospital is incredibly trying. Dealing with cancer or leukemia, very trying. None of those difficulties make discrimination okay OR make an attitude of "I should get whatever I PAY FOR and whatever I want" okay, IMO.

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Originally Posted by ftmom

Except that is not what she was saying. She clearly stated that the hospital has the right to say no, but that you have the right to request any stupid thing you want. I agree with her. I dont think the father is to blame here (though I do think he is a racist jerk). The hospital should have said no, or we will do what we can, but cant guarantee anything. But he did have the right to ask.

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Where did I say he didn't?

And yes, people can request whatever they want, but the idea that they get to handpick their care 100% of the time is incredibly entitled, the idea that a hospital should further be somehow indebted to them because of the insurance money they are paying is more entitled.

I believe that a poor person should get the same care that a millionaire should. I do however, believe that the in a hospital situation the patient is the employer and the hospital/staff is the employee. As a patient (or parent of the patient) you have to be able to take charge of your own care.

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Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers

I believe that a poor person should get the same care that a millionaire should. I do however, believe that the in a hospital situation the patient is the employer and the hospital/staff is the employee. As a patient (or parent of the patient) you have to be able to take charge of your own care.

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Turning down qualified care for no reason other than a whim or racism (as people on this thread have stated is fine) is not taking charge, its being petulant.

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Originally Posted by Potter75

Turning down qualified care for no reason other than a whim or racism (as people on this thread have stated is fine) is not taking charge, its being petulant.

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My understanding was that he did not turn down care, he asked for a different nurse. If you were in the hospital and your nurse was being obnoxious and you requested a different nurse does that mean you are refusing care? I understand you disagree with his reasons, so do I, but it does not mean he rejected care.

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Originally Posted by Potter75

Where did I say he didn't?

And yes, people can request whatever they want, but the idea that they get to handpick their care 100% of the time is incredibly entitled, the idea that a hospital should further be somehow indebted to them because of the insurance money they are paying is more entitled.

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But where did anyone say this? Maybe I missed it?

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Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers

My understanding was that he did not turn down care, he asked for a different nurse. If you were in the hospital and your nurse was being obnoxious and you requested a different nurse does that mean you are refusing care? I understand you disagree with his reasons, so do I, but it does not mean he rejected care.

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He refused to allow that AA nurse to touch his baby. Yes, that is refusing her care. The nurse wasn't being obnoxious, unless you consider being black obnoxious, so I don't understand how you are comparing the two. My son recently needed emergency surgery. The they don't staff pediatric ENT, so the one on call had to be called in to perform the emergency surgery. He happened to be a white older gentleman. Because my sons condition was critical he could not be transferred, and that was the only pediatric ENT surgeon on call that night. I do not believe that just because you consider me the employer in this situation I had the right to refuse his care because, say, I hated old people. And I believe that if the delay in the hospital trying to allow for my discrimination had caused my child harm, I should have been charged with a crime. I don't believe that nurses are less important than Dr's and I don't believe that being discriminatory against black people is different from being discriminatory against old people. And I don't believe that hospitals should cater to either brand of discrimination, ever. The patient can leave if that is not okay with them. THe patient then assumes the risk of leaving AMA, IMO.

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Originally Posted by ftmom

But where did anyone say this? Maybe I missed it?

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Bottom line, you shouldn't need to give a reason to request a different caregiver, and no one should be able to say someone else's reason for such a request isn't good enough

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Bonita I think?

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IMO yes, you have a right to request a different nurse/doctor for any reason.

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Spacers, I think?

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It doesn't matter what his reason was, if she was wearing Mickey Mouse scrubs and he's boycotting Disney, he still has the right to request a different nurse and the hospital has an obligation to try to accomodate his request.

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Spacers

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but if you are paying half a million dollars to have your baby in the NICU, you should be able to ask for someone that you are comfortable with.

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Bonita

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Originally Posted by Potter75

He refused to allow that AA nurse to touch his baby. Yes, that is refusing her care. The nurse wasn't being obnoxious, unless you consider being black obnoxious, so I don't understand how you are comparing the two. My son recently needed emergency surgery. The they don't staff pediatric ENT, so the one on call had to be called in to perform the emergency surgery. He happened to be a white older gentleman. Because my sons condition was critical he could not be transferred, and that was the only pediatric ENT surgeon on call that night. I do not believe that just because you consider me the employer in this situation I had the right to refuse his care because, say, I hated old people. And I believe that if the delay in the hospital trying to allow for my discrimination had caused my child harm, I should have been charged with a crime. I don't believe that nurses are less important than Dr's and I don't believe that being discriminatory against black people is different from being discriminatory against old people. And I don't believe that hospitals should cater to either brand of discrimination, ever. The patient can leave if that is not okay with them. THe patient then assumes the risk of leaving AMA, IMO.

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A baby that is relatively stable is different than an emergency situation. I do not agree that it is different than someone being obnoxious. No I do not consider being black as being obnoxious. However, either you have the right to request a different nurse or doctor or you do not. In an emergency situation you are going to have to deal with whatever medical personal is available to you. In a non-emergency situation I believe it is common place to request a different nurse or doctor for all sorts of reasons. As I said, the hospital has every right to say no, we can not accommodate your request at this time, but you can still ask. That is not the same as denying care.