I have been fortunate to deal with some truly amazing nurses. (Drove my husband crazy that most would end up in my room chatting overnight. :P He learned to give up and go home to get rest.) I am all the more grateful after hearing your horror stories. I cannot imagine having to deal with that -- while in labor or for my child's care. I am so sorry that you had those experiences... and good for each of you that were able to speak up for better care. Far too many accept whatever they are told without questioning.
My first reaction was that of Missy's, what about requesting a woman just because you are more comfortable? I think it is horrible to not let a nurse see you just because she is Black. That said, I would think it would be within your rights to request a different nurse without giving a reason.
Side OT story about having a woman OB vs. a man OB, years ago I insisted I have a woman OB. Experience and heartache has taught me that it is much more important to have whoever is most qualified then to just have a woman. Having had a child in the NICU, I can say for certain that I would want the most qualified nurse regardless if she was White, Black, or purple with pink polka dots. Whoever was going to get my baby healthy and home to me faster.
I think everyone has made good points about being able to request a female, or just another nurse etc. I cant help but thing though, that most nurses that work in the NICU have extra training (at least my aunt did). So if this nurse was assigned outside the NICU after she had to undergo specific training to be there....especially if she had to pay for it herself, or take time off work etc.....then maybe she has a case?
Mom to Arianna (5), Conner (3) and Trent (my baby)
I will go against the group and say she has a complete right to sue and should do so. Just because this man is a racist doesn't mean the hospital should agree to his racist ideas. It's one thing to have an issue with a nurse or doctor because of how they treat you. It's another thing to be a racist and then get the hospital to support that choice. They should not have supported him unless he had problems with her performance, her attitude, or her treatment of him and his child.
Sue sue sue.
But Laurie, when does it become okay? Just because the majority think his ideas are heinous doesn't mean he has less of an option. Am I sexist if I ask for a male doctor or female doctor due to preference only? If the hospital lets me have all male physicians are they sexist?
After that, well....I prefer a female doctor so that's who I go to when I am selecting a general practitioner or an ob/gyn. Once I'm in the hospital, I think I have to take what I can get. At least that was my experience when I had my kids.
I think you can speak up on a situational basis but the hospital should not be honoring race requests.
If I knew that one of my patients felt that negatively about me, I would not want to care for them. Enough bad/scary stuff can happen in a NICU that I would be paranoid they would blame me/complain about me and really affect my job.
I don't know if the hospital should have given in to him but I think the nurse should have been informed immediately and had some input to the decision.
DD1 July 2008 (41w3d)
November 2010 (13 weeks)
DD2 August 2011 (33w5d)
I would certainly let the nurse know that the parent was a racist and had issues, and let her/him make the decision at that point. But the hospital supporting a racist is unacceptable to me.