Do you make your kids give kisses? Say, to Grandma when you go to say goodbye?
If you told your child to give someone a kiss and they refused, would you make them? Do you feel pressured by relatives or acquaintances to make your child give a kiss/hug at hello's or goodbyes?
Nope. I have them do lots of thank-you's and hugs and sometimes a big handshake (depending on the recipient). Not a big kissy person as it is a total germ spreader.
We also do high fives and if someone is sick we do foot-fives. I guess we're all a little germaphobic
Christina + Rory = a grand total of:
Amelia, Anthony, Andon, Noah, Mason, & Trinity-woof
Mmmmm....I don't *make" him, but I guess I encourage him. We're a very huggy-kissy family, so it's just kind of the norm to hug and kiss when we say hello and goodbye. Plus, DH and I are always always hugging and kissing him, just because. So I think that hugging and kissing is just what you do, and I think that's mostly how he sees it too. I can only think of one or two times when he has balked at hugging and kissing, but I don't think I pressed the issue - I think I just kind of rolled my eyes at the person who he was refusing to hug and said something like "Someone needs a nap."
-Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)
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I am very picky and choosy on who I kiss or even hug so I would never force my kids to kiss/hug somebody. I will insist they say hello/good-bye to whomever and if THEY choose to give a kiss/hug, that's fine. I absolutely hate when certain people (*coughMILcough*) force the kids into a hug or kiss too... if the child is comfortable and willing, fine... if they're struggling/pushing away, that would be an indication they don't want it, so please don't force it thankyouverymuch. I would be apt to say "go give grandma/whoever a hug" at times though... but again, ultimately the contact would be up to the child... as long as they are polite/etc. we're good.
The only ones my kids give kisses to are close relatives. When they're really little, I have told them to give them a goodbye kiss but never forced them. Now they automatically do whenever they feel like it, just like they do with anyone else they feel like hugging or kissing goodbye. No pressure from others to kiss though.
DD Twins: 8/4/09 @ 35 Wks - No NICU, woot!
Nope! With the grandparents & aunts, we encourage a hug & kiss but won't force it. Anyone else, not at all. Sometimes when we're leaving a playdate, if it's a close friend, I'll say, "Give Sarah a hug & say thanks for letting you over to play with Bob & Jane!" but if it doesn't happen, I'm not distraught.
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If I asked my child to, I would expect them to obey, but I would only ask them to kiss me, Daddy, or Grandma. My girls are very affectionate though and I have to be very careful or my middle daughter would kiss ANYONE. It is much more of a problem to get them to not run up to complete strangers and give them a hug.
I am NOT a touchy person and hate giving people "goodbye hugs"... Actually I do everything I can to avoid them.
So, no, I would never make my kids kiss or hug anyone they didn't want to.
Sometimes Juliet won't hug people goodbye and we do the whole "Don't give Grandma a hug! She doesn't like it! Don't do it!" and then she laughs and giggles and hugs. But if she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to. Kisses especially.
My son is easier in that way, I don't think it has come up, but I wouldn't actually ask him to hug or kiss someone he didn't feel he wanted to anyway. He hugs all of my friends when they visit...he's an affectionate guy.
We are very affectionate at our house as well...I kiss the kids a million times if we're snuggling watching tv or playing a game or something. So they are used to it!
Laurie, mom to:
Nathaniel ( 10 ) and Juliet ( 6 )
Baking Adventures In A Messy Kitchen (blog)