S/O weddings: save the dates
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Thread: S/O weddings: save the dates

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    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    Default S/O weddings: save the dates

    If you received a "save the date" card in January for a family member's wedding in early August, how long would you wait for an invitation? It's now two months before the wedding date and the location requires you to travel by car so you need to plan & budget for at least a 3-day trip. Would you contact someone to find out if you've been invited or not? Would you assume you're invited & decline other things for that weekend? What if it were six weeks away & you hadn't heard anything?
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    Super Poster b525's Avatar
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    If I had to make travel plans, I'd wait two more weeks and then contact someone, saying, "I received the save-the-date card but haven't heard anything more. I need to make travel arrangements so I just wanted to check to make sure I hadn't missed anything. If you've had to shorten your list and can't include me, that's fine. I just need to know." I would not do it yet because I think 6 weeks is the standard timeframe that's expected for receiving invitations.
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    I've actually never heard of a "save the date" card... why would someone not just send an invitation then if you're going to go to that trouble?

    I guess I would assume I was invited (why send out a "save the date" card to those you're not planning to invite?)... but depending on how close I was I may try to put out some feelers as to when the invites might be sent. If had scheduled my time accordingly to accomodate and then wasn't invited, I'd be a little perturbed.

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    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Princess&ThePea View Post
    I've actually never heard of a "save the date" card... why would someone not just send an invitation then if you're going to go to that trouble?

    I guess I would assume I was invited (why send out a "save the date" card to those you're not planning to invite?)... but depending on how close I was I may try to put out some feelers as to when the invites might be sent. If had scheduled my time accordingly to accomodate and then wasn't invited, I'd be a little perturbed.
    To the bolded - YES! I totally do not get save the date cards. If you're worried that I will schedule something else on your big day...why not just send out the invitations then, instead of sending out the save the date card and the invitations later. I don't get it.

    But yes, if I had received a "save the date" card and then DIDN'T get invited, I would be irritated. I would guess that if you don't get an invitation by the time that you need to make your travel plans, it would be acceptable to reach out to the couple and ask. Normally I would say that it's rude to ask for an invitation, but they started it by telling you to save the date!
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    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spacers View Post
    If you received a "save the date" card in January for a family member's wedding in early August, how long would you wait for an invitation? It's now two months before the wedding date and the location requires you to travel by car so you need to plan & budget for at least a 3-day trip. Would you contact someone to find out if you've been invited or not? Would you assume you're invited & decline other things for that weekend? What if it were six weeks away & you hadn't heard anything?
    I would wait until 6 weeks prior to wedding date. I think 6 weeks is the standard 'minimum'

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    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Princess&ThePea View Post
    I've actually never heard of a "save the date" card... why would someone not just send an invitation then if you're going to go to that trouble?
    They're very common for summer weddings, especially when you're inviting people who will need to travel. People often make summer plans months ahead of time but you don't want to send out wedding invitations that far ahead. People too often will set the invitation aside to respond later & forget about it.
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    Posting Addict culturedmom's Avatar
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    OMG all these wedding threads remind me of how much I hate weddings, lol. WTF is a save the date card? Isn't that what an invitiation is?

    ETA: Thank you Spacers for explaining.

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    Mega Poster elleon17's Avatar
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    Save the Dates are great when you are having alot out of town guests. We are not sending them to save money, but since 85% of our wedding guests live in another state, I had to give a 'verbal' save the date to family and friends so they can plan vacations/time off (we live in Orlando) with more notice than 2-3 months before the wedding.

    I definietely say you are still invited. That would be horrible if they sent you a save the date and no invitation!
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    Save-the-date cards make no sense at all. I get that the idea is to give guests plenty of notice for travel or whatever, but you may as well just send the invites insanely early.

    As far as the OP, I would wait a couple more weeks and than call and clarify.

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    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kris_w View Post
    Save-the-date cards make no sense at all. I get that the idea is to give guests plenty of notice for travel or whatever, but you may as well just send the invites insanely early.

    As far as the OP, I would wait a couple more weeks and than call and clarify.
    I don't think insanely early works either...because a lot of people forget about them when they are sent too early.
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