I'm trying to get a handle on what the actual concern is.
I will give a little more personal background to our scouting experience.
1- we live in a rural area.
2- there is currently NO TROOP in our area.
3- I served as the boys cubscout leader till I couldn't and the pack disbanded and my children wanted to stay in scouts so we are LONE SCOUTS.
4- Lonescouts is similar in theory to homeschooling vs Boyscout TROOP as Public schooling.
5- I would love to have my boys in a TROOP with a man leading it, but it isn't going to happen any time soon.
6- By necessity I have gone to all their camping experiences because they have to be accompanied by an adult leader to attend.
7 - While attending overnight scout camps it wasn't uncommon for the younger boys to sleep in the tent with their parent if their parent/grandparent was there... Remember this was for cubscouts age 8-9ish.. most of the 10 yo did not attend the cubscout camps we attended. 7 yo Tiger cubs are not typically at overnight scout camps, but day camps.. and when my boys were Tigers we went only to Day camps.
--- My boys are just now 9 and 10 (my oldest just crossed over to Boyscouts). I do see a time coming where I would allow my sons to bunk with their mates...
8- I attended church camp.. I remember my sister at 5th grade crying at night.. missing home.. I loved it.. but I also remember kids sneaking off to kiss/make out etc etc. This was a camp with males and females.. One of them I know was a homosexual but no one knew.
9 - At any age, I do not want to set my children up for a fall.. does that make sense? I think by the time they are in highschool I might have more confidence in them, and allow them to do more than I am anticipating.. I hope so.. Don't we all? Don't we all want our children to do the BEST? Don't we all want them to make good choices and not contribute to their troubles?.. For each family this looks different... But I do not malign people that have different views.. It is ok that we think differently.. it is also ok we think our own way is right .
DH-Aug 30th 1997 Josiah - 6/3/02 Isaac 7/31/03
If there was a Troop/Pack that my boys could attend I would put them in it. If it was only the boys in my pack/troop in a tent it wouldn't matter to me.. as I trust the boys and parents.. and did trust the ones that were in my group. However.. when you have a smaller pack or troop you are thrown in with boys from other packs and troops, that are raised differently.. sometimes good sometimes bad, sometimes very very bad... Some of these boys are sent to camps all summer because their parents can't stand them.. some Boys are at this camp because they love scouting and uphold the scout oath/law etc.
Each persons scouting experience is different.
As to the OTHER boys in the pack when we went camping overnight.. ONLY one from my pack went with me and my sons.. but we traveled with another fairly local pack where I knew the leaders well, we had done hikes and clean-ups together.. And I trusted them with my children.. and I trusted their children around mine.. But even in joining with them, we still were a very small group and were put in with boys from urban areas that did not have the same sense of right/wrong our boys did. When there was issues we discussed them as adults first, then talked with the boys.. The one boy I took with my two. I called his mother and discussed the issue and asked what she would like us to do. There was no option to be able to put JUST my pack boys in a tent.. but I did think of it . And I would have done it if that was an option, as I trusted this other boy and his family.
Sorry to be a little vague, but hopefully I explained it a bit better.
DH-Aug 30th 1997 Josiah - 6/3/02 Isaac 7/31/03
Thanks for that.
My husband grew up in Scouts and my son was in them for a while, we've never experienced anything like any of the behavior you describe. So hopefully it is not typical.
Anyway I don't see how adding gay kids would change any of this one way or the other.
So I would totally understand not wanting your wife to go into a strangers home without you. But yea, parents should wait outside.
Mom to Arianna (5), Conner (3) and Trent (my baby)
Side question...for those that think it is okay for a husband/wife to go in but not a parent? What makes the difference?
Mom to Elizabeth (6) and Corinne (4)
And I asked a co-worker whom I know to be gay and an Eagle Scout about his thoughts on the issue of the Scouts allowing gays. His reply was that Boy Scouts was the one place he felt safe, and where he felt normal. Boy Scouts was the one place where guys weren't asking who you were dating or how far you got with her, or what was wrong with you (are you gay????) if you weren't dating? He said he knew he was gay but it never came up with his pack at all. His Scout Leader was the first person he came out to because he trusted that man with his secret that he kept from his family for many more years.
RG, I showed him what you wrote about your experience with scout camping, and he said nothing like that has EVER happened in his camping experience. He said the worst thing they did was put someone's hand in warm water to make them pee their bed. (I asked WTH a kid gets warm water in a camp at night, and he said you plan ahead & tuck a baggie in your pants to warm it!) He said the problem with your troop's experience was bad leaders, not gays. And he took great offense at your description of the problem boys being an "urban troop."
The number of U.S. states in which a person can marry the person they love regardless of gender: 30 and counting!
Le sigh. If it isn't the gays its the blacks causing a ruckus and throwing poop. Happens every time.
If a person showed up with their mom for an interview I would deem them not mature enough to watch my kids. I would, however, respect them for wanting to meet for the first time in a neutral location like a starbucks or somewhere public if they had never met you or anything. I have never hired a stranger (they have always been someone that was a friend of the family or a friends babysitter or someone who we knew already from the gym) but thats just good common sense. Waiting in the car would also be good sense. Sitting in on the interview? Not kosher for me.