Discriminatory? That's so silly Bonita.
I wouldn't rule out the possibility that 17-year-olds can truly be in love, for real. I know a couple who fell deeply in love in early high school and are still married now, and they're my age so they're in their mid/late 40s.
Anyway to me that's not the point...I don't have "not under my roof" rules but I certainly don't want to encourage my kids to have sex before they are ready. That doesn't mean marriage, to me, at all....but it doesn't mean jumping into bed with someone too young and for the wrong reasons either.
But if I felt it was a healthy relationship I won't have "no sex" rules.
Laurie, mom to:
Nathaniel ( 11 ) and Juliet ( 7 )
Baking Adventures In A Messy Kitchen (blog)
im not calling everything silly- just your claim of discrimination. Which is so silly
And she didnt say 'far surpassed any adult relationship' but 'far surpassed any relationship my other daughters have seen'.
Mom to Arianna (5), Conner (3) and Trent (my baby)
To the OP.. absolutely not.. if their so needed a place to stay I would find a different home for them to stay at.. ie neighbors or grandparents etc.
DH-Aug 30th 1997 Josiah - 6/3/02 Isaac 7/31/03
Bonita, if I had met my Dh at 17 I may have been more in the same camp as you (well not really, he is way older so that would have been illegal) I think the woman that wrote that article was putting way more faith into a relationship then she should at 17. I have seen relationships that started in high school work out long term, but I dont think that is the norm
Molly, Morgan, Mia and Carson
70% of the U.S. population now lives in a state where same-sex marriage is legal. At 36 and counting!
Yes, our life is very different. My kids see one set or the other of grandparents at least weekly, my parents have been married 40 years and DH's 46. Our siblings are all happily married and all live nearby, the kids see my sister and BIL almost daily at the gym. We vacation together occasionally and spend weekends together at the beach, and we vacation or go away for the weekend with other happily married couples often. My good friends are all married, and we entertain them often, my kids call many of my good friends "aunt and uncle".
To me it would be like my parents telling me to look up to Brenden and Kelly on 90210 as an example of what a good relationship was. People really DO that? Its just very very foreign to me. I like kids and have a tremendous amount of respect for children. That said, I don't equate their teenaged and high school relationships to my marriage to my spouse. Its apples and oranges, and always will be, in my mind. If others feel that their relationship is equivalent to HS relationships, great! I simply don't feel remotely that way.
If the only healthy relationships in my life my children witnessed were my teenagers.....well, I would probably feel that I deserved to wear one of those signs that read : "Life: I'm doing it wrong". If that sounds harsh thats okay. How on earth can kids learn healthy relationships if we don't model them to them? Part of that means surrounding them with examples of healthy individuals (gay, straight, whatever) who know how to maintain healthy relationships. 17 year olds in the throes of new love are NOT the best example of what that means for the long haul.
Last edited by Potter75; 08-12-2013 at 09:23 PM. Reason: Brendan. Not brenda. But that would have been hot.
I'm not going to say I wouldn't allow their bf or gf to stay over but it would have to be a case by case basis. It's really hard to plan for 12+ years in advance. I do think if I was to allow this I would absolutely make sure his (or her) parents were aware of it so they weren't sneaking around their parents back.
Dh and I started dating when I was 19. He started sleeping over when our parents decided it was more stressful to worry about us driving back and forth (45 minutes 1 way) and waiting for us to get home and we started sleeping over. My mother's point was that had I gone away to school instead of commuting I would be doing it anyway... a valid point. However, my parents don't see anything wrong with premarital sex or living together outside of marriage (neither does my grandmother...she wishes it was the norm when she was a young woman).
Mom to Elizabeth (6) and Corinne (4)