Sex in a Teenager's Room? - Page 3
+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 49
Like Tree20Likes

Thread: Sex in a Teenager's Room?

  1. #21
    Posting Addict
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    14,461

    Default

    Discriminatory? That's so silly Bonita.

  2. #22
    Posting Addict
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Posts
    23,442

    Default

    I wouldn't rule out the possibility that 17-year-olds can truly be in love, for real. I know a couple who fell deeply in love in early high school and are still married now, and they're my age so they're in their mid/late 40s.

    Anyway to me that's not the point...I don't have "not under my roof" rules but I certainly don't want to encourage my kids to have sex before they are ready. That doesn't mean marriage, to me, at all....but it doesn't mean jumping into bed with someone too young and for the wrong reasons either.

    But if I felt it was a healthy relationship I won't have "no sex" rules.
    Laurie, mom to:
    Nathaniel ( 10 ) and Juliet ( 6 )




    Baking Adventures In A Messy Kitchen (blog)

  3. #23
    Community Host
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    13,521

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    Discriminatory? That's so silly Bonita.
    And saying everything is "silly" is so grown up and mature?

    ~Bonita~

  4. #24
    Posting Addict
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    14,461

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    And saying everything is "silly" is so grown up and mature?
    I've backed up my opinion in very long posts. I hate using the discrimination card when one can't back up their opinion with an actual argument. But alas- time for my deep tissue massage- ta!

    im not calling everything silly- just your claim of discrimination. Which is so silly

  5. #25
    Prolific Poster ftmom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    2,378

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Potter75 View Post
    Um- you have three kids together - and years of marriage- do you really think I'm saying that? I was just throwing things out off the top of my head. You don't call deciding to have a baby a major lif decision? Huh. I do.

    was just listing examples. But if you feel that 17 year olds have relationships that are the same as you and your dh's that's great! I so don't. Life has taught me so much between 17 and now

    and if you read the quote she clearly says "far surpassed" - so , I think you are wrong.
    I am not saying it is the same at all, just that it could be as committed. My SIL got married when she was 18. They are now still married 11 years later with 2 kids and have dealt with more things you listed then DH and I. I honestly dont think she is any more COMMITTED to her relationship today then she was on her wedding day. Sure, the relationship has matured and changed, but their commitment to each other and their relationship hasn't.

    And she didnt say 'far surpassed any adult relationship' but 'far surpassed any relationship my other daughters have seen'.
    Spacers and AlyssaEimers like this.
    Kyla
    Mom to Arianna (5), Conner (3) and Trent (my baby)

  6. #26
    Posting Addict Rivergallery's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    9,757

    Default

    To the OP.. absolutely not.. if their so needed a place to stay I would find a different home for them to stay at.. ie neighbors or grandparents etc.
    DH-Aug 30th 1997 Josiah - 6/3/02 Isaac 7/31/03

  7. #27
    Mega Poster mom3girls's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    3,432

    Default

    Bonita, if I had met my Dh at 17 I may have been more in the same camp as you (well not really, he is way older so that would have been illegal) I think the woman that wrote that article was putting way more faith into a relationship then she should at 17. I have seen relationships that started in high school work out long term, but I dont think that is the norm
    bunnyfufu likes this.
    Lisa
    Molly, Morgan, Mia and Carson

  8. #28
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    My avatar is the tai chi -- a symbol of the eternal cycle of life
    Posts
    16,468

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ftmom View Post
    And she didnt say 'far surpassed any adult relationship' but 'far surpassed any relationship my other daughters have seen'.
    Exactly. I don't know about Melis, but my kids haven't really witnessed on a daily basis any other relationships except my own. We don't live near our sisters who have been married a long time (and actually my sister just announced this weekend that she's divorcing her husband, and I've heard rumors about my SIL's marriage) and our own parents are all divorced. Maybe this author had a bad marriage, so that's what her kids know as "what marriage is."
    David Letterman is retiring. Such great memories of watching him over the past thirty-two years!

  9. #29
    Posting Addict
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    14,461

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Spacers View Post
    Exactly. I don't know about Melis, but my kids haven't really witnessed on a daily basis any other relationships except my own. We don't live near our sisters who have been married a long time (and actually my sister just announced this weekend that she's divorcing her husband, and I've heard rumors about my SIL's marriage) and our own parents are all divorced. Maybe this author had a bad marriage, so that's what her kids know as "what marriage is."

    Yes, our life is very different. My kids see one set or the other of grandparents at least weekly, my parents have been married 40 years and DH's 46. Our siblings are all happily married and all live nearby, the kids see my sister and BIL almost daily at the gym. We vacation together occasionally and spend weekends together at the beach, and we vacation or go away for the weekend with other happily married couples often. My good friends are all married, and we entertain them often, my kids call many of my good friends "aunt and uncle".

    To me it would be like my parents telling me to look up to Brenden and Kelly on 90210 as an example of what a good relationship was. People really DO that? Its just very very foreign to me. I like kids and have a tremendous amount of respect for children. That said, I don't equate their teenaged and high school relationships to my marriage to my spouse. Its apples and oranges, and always will be, in my mind. If others feel that their relationship is equivalent to HS relationships, great! I simply don't feel remotely that way.

    If the only healthy relationships in my life my children witnessed were my teenagers.....well, I would probably feel that I deserved to wear one of those signs that read : "Life: I'm doing it wrong". If that sounds harsh thats okay. How on earth can kids learn healthy relationships if we don't model them to them? Part of that means surrounding them with examples of healthy individuals (gay, straight, whatever) who know how to maintain healthy relationships. 17 year olds in the throes of new love are NOT the best example of what that means for the long haul.
    Last edited by Potter75; 08-12-2013 at 09:23 PM. Reason: Brendan. Not brenda. But that would have been hot.
    bunnyfufu likes this.

  10. #30
    Prolific Poster
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    2,219

    Default

    I'm not going to say I wouldn't allow their bf or gf to stay over but it would have to be a case by case basis. It's really hard to plan for 12+ years in advance. I do think if I was to allow this I would absolutely make sure his (or her) parents were aware of it so they weren't sneaking around their parents back.

    Dh and I started dating when I was 19. He started sleeping over when our parents decided it was more stressful to worry about us driving back and forth (45 minutes 1 way) and waiting for us to get home and we started sleeping over. My mother's point was that had I gone away to school instead of commuting I would be doing it anyway... a valid point. However, my parents don't see anything wrong with premarital sex or living together outside of marriage (neither does my grandmother...she wishes it was the norm when she was a young woman).
    Mom to Elizabeth (6) and Corinne (4)

+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
v -->

About Us | Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Sitemap | Terms & Conditions