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  1. #41
    Posting Addict SID081108's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    DH has a firm policy of not being alone with children that are not our own or our nieces or nephews. One reason for this is because we know someone who's daughters had some friends over and they all got together and decided to accuse him of molesting them. Years later they came forward and confessed they made the whole thing up, but not until they did a whole lot of damage to his life. DH does not put himself in a position where it is ever his word against other children's word.

    We do let our oldest two go to birthday sleepovers where we know the parents well. Only if we know the parents well. I also would not leave my girls at a sleep over with just a man unless it was someone I knew VERY well like a BIL. One reason for this is that about a year ago it came out that one of Alyssa's friends' father was arrested and convicted of aggravated rape. We knew him and had seen him once a week for years and had had him over to our house without having any idea that he had been raping his daughter on a regular basis for years. It is sickening and a shame that we can not just trust anyone, but in reality we can not.

    As I said, we do let our older two go to sleepovers, but I really would ideally want two adults present.
    Unfortunately, I also know some of these stories that some think are so unlikely or it is paranoid thinking to consider them. I'm sorry, but when you KNOW people that have been molested in similar situations, you hold your children a little closer and promise yourself to protect them from that pain. I'll be happy to be considered a whacko or paranoid if it means my children have less of a chance of experiencing such a horror. I do believe that even someone you think you know can turn out to be someone completely different, but we can't go around not trusting anyone at all. We can, however, take reasonable precautions to protect our family.
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  2. #42
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    I think if I had had some of the situations you guys describe happen, I would be a lot less relaxed about things than I am now.
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  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by freddieflounder101 View Post
    I think if I had had some of the situations you guys describe happen, I would be a lot less relaxed about things than I am now.
    Almost 1 in 5 women in US have been raped or sexually abused, study finds | GlobalPost

    This was just the top Google search I could find. I had previously heard the numbers were 1 and 4. When my mother was a girl she was playing at the neighbor's house and was molested by the girl's father. A similar situation happened with DH's sister. It is much more common than people think. I am perfectly fine with being called paranoid. I would not leave my daughters with an adult man that was not family unless I knew them extremely well.

    ~Bonita~

  4. #44
    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    Almost 1 in 5 women in US have been raped or sexually abused, study finds | GlobalPost

    This was just the top Google search I could find. I had previously heard the numbers were 1 and 4. When my mother was a girl she was playing at the neighbor's house and was molested by the girl's father. A similar situation happened with DH's sister. It is much more common than people think. I am perfectly fine with being called paranoid. I would not leave my daughters with an adult man that was not family unless I knew them extremely well.
    Someone attempted to sexually assault me, but it wasn't at a friends house or at a sleepover. He was someone I babysat for, and someone that my parents knew well.

    Aren't there statistics out there that sexual abusers are very often people you know well or are family? I think it's kind of arbitrary to protect kids from one type of sexual assaulter but not the othet

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by KimPossible View Post
    I think it's kind of arbitrary to protect kids from one type of sexual assaulter but not the othet
    I think most parents would try to protect their child from any sexual assault they could.

    ~Bonita~

  6. #46
    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    I think most parents would try to protect their child from any sexual assault they could.
    But you made an exception for people you know well
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  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by KimPossible View Post
    But you made an exception for people you know well
    It is not possible to protect my children from everything. I can only do the best that I can.

    ~Bonita~

  8. #48
    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
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    Quote from Wikipedia

    Most sexual abuse offenders are acquainted with their victims; approximately 30% are relatives of the child, most often brothers, fathers, uncles or cousins; around 60% are other acquaintances such as 'friends' of the family, babysitters, or neighbors; strangers are the offenders in approximately 10% of child sexual abuse cases.

  9. #49
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    Ok. So according to that quote 60% of sexual offenders are acquaintances. I would not leave my daughters alone with a male acquaintance. I do not think an acquaintance = someone you know very well.

    ~Bonita~

  10. #50
    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
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    I wouldn't call friends of the family acquaintances... Nor neighbors in a lot of instances. You are distilling down the statistic
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