I'm calling misinterpreting risk crazy and paranoid.........not people. If you want to take that very personally okay. Your choice. I also admit that I don't watch TV shows that up my paranoia or fear level ~ I stick to the real world stats and real world situations.
Its fine to say you weigh the risk vs reward or whatever you said Carrie, but that risk has to be linked to a statistical basis, not rooted in fear. Thats my point. I also clearly stated that what I thought was crazy was people living in fear of gangs young girls falsely calling "rape". I've been raped, by a stranger in a second world country ~ doesn't change my reality level of what is acceptable as a norm or safe in my community. I understand where I live, I know my friends, and I don't make up all men to be potential rapists or all young girls to be drama queens falsely reporting sexual abuse for fun.
If I really wanted to protect my children (risk wise) we would not live in a house or drive in a car. We do both. I think that managing ones fear against the statistics is something that we all do. Some of us just employ it more logically than others.
Last edited by Potter75; 06-07-2013 at 09:29 PM.
I would leave my children overnight at a birthday party with a married couple in attendance that was friends, not a single man that was a friend. The only man my girls have ever been alone overnight with is DH while I was in the hospital. I would be ok with my father or FIL or some of my BIL's having the girls overnight if the situation presented itself. Any sleepover my girls have been at, have been with good friends where both parents are in aattendance.
My kids have slept over at their grandparents house maybe 30 times? At my BIL's house (2) maybe 12 times? Babysitters here at night like........500 times? They are at the tipping point where we are about to start having sleepovers......but I recognize that factually my kids have been at risk more now than in the future. Heck, their dad sleeps here 310 mights of the year..............OY! RISK!
Most sexual abuse offenders are acquainted with their victims; approximately 30% are relatives of the child, most often brothers, fathers, uncles or cousins; around 60% are other acquaintances such as 'friends' of the family, babysitters, or neighbors; strangers are the offenders in approximately 10% of child sexual abuse cases.
I think it all depends on where our backgrounds have lead us today. I was molested for 2 years, from age 6-8 (my one sister was 8-10) by a neighbor's 2 sons. She was watching us for 2 hours a day between when school was out and when my mom got home from work. Because of this, I am very cautious with who babysits our kids. My best friend growing up was molested by an uncle of her friend when she was staying the night at the girls house, she rarely let her kids sleepover at others houses but is not as worried about babysitters.
Dh has no history of any kind of abuse, and did not grow up with anyone that was abused. He is way more trusting, but has learned to listen to my gut reactions.
Kyla, I do think being in law enforcement changes how you view things a lot. Dh's uncle is in law enforcement, he was at our girls spring performance and recognized one of the 2nd graders dads a registered sex offender with an open warrant. He has been freaking out about who else comes to the school on a regular basis.
Molly, Morgan, Mia and Carson
I remember being with my dad on the weekends and having a friend stay the night. He also was a "dance mom" when I took jazz, lol. I can't imagine any of my best friend's parents at the time having any sort of diversion to him.
around 60% are other acquaintances such as 'friends' of the family, babysitters, or neighbors;
I was speaking to this stat. But yes, we do have one babysitter who is a single man. He is my kids fave from our gym. We actually hired him for our party last weekend/run games with the kids. He is awesome. I was talking though about how many times in the past 6.5 yearsmy kids have been alone with a (any) babysitter.
I dropped Emma off with her uncle just yesterday. He and my sister in law were going to take her to her tumbling class. My sister in law wasn't home yet. I cannot even fathom calling the whole plan off because he is a man. I seriously can't fathom that one bit.
Just thinking, he also watched my kids for a week every day after school. I was in a pinch and he offered to help. What is one supposed to do in this situation... Make up a fairly obvious lie as to why I need to turn down his generous offer? How horrible and dehumanizing. "you're my family, I love you and i know you are not a pedophile but I'm going to treat you like one because you have a penis" seriously, I can think of very little that is worse than that.