Smoking and your kids

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Minx_Kristi's picture
Joined: 01/02/09
Posts: 1261
Smoking and your kids

I was wondering, if your kid had a friend who's parents you knew smoked would it stop you letting them go round to the house to play/hang out?

xx

culturedmom's picture
Joined: 09/30/06
Posts: 1131

Possibly. It is impossible to get that smell out of clothes. And even people who say they only smoke outside, don't realize how much that smell still permiates into the house.

I guess if I knew the parents and family well enough to know that they were responsible people and would not smoke in front of the children (whichmost smokers don't), I would be fine with it. Also, my uncle recently died from lung cancer. My kids are very anxious around smoke and smokers, so that would be a factor as well.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

I don't let my children go into houses where the people smoke inside. Actually, I'm going through this issue with my Dad right now. He desperately wants the girls to come to his house and spend time with him, but his wife smokes in the house. He promises that she'll smoke outside while they are there but he doesn't realize that the smoke lingers and could possibly still affect them. If they didn't have respiratory issues I probably wouldn't be quite as cautious.

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

As long as they don't smoke inside and were otherwise people I trusted, yes I'd let my kid go.

carg0612's picture
Joined: 09/23/09
Posts: 1554

Given our asthma issues in our house if I knew that a friend's parents smoked in the house I would do my best to prevent them from going over there. I'd offer to have the friend to our house instead.

I can't have the kids around 2nd hand smoke. I've had to threaten my ex with court action about this. He still smokes but isn't allowed to do it in his house or car when the kids are there. They are awesome about reporting his smoking habits to me because they are always after him to quit - they hate it because it stinks so bad and his teeth are gross and they are afraid he's going to die from it.

So yes, it would prevent me from sending my children over there due to the health issues we have. Just as they have a right to smoke in their own home I have a right to keep my child away from it.

I would state that if it was a close friend or family member that I trusted would only smoke outside I might make an exception. But honestly, I don't think we have any close friends or family members that smoke.

elleon17's picture
Joined: 01/26/09
Posts: 1981

As long as my child has no medical conditions prohibiting him, I have no issue with it.

Smoking is legal and as long as the parents are responsible and do not smoke in front of or near my child, I am ok with.

Being a person who has struggled with smoking (and despite the health benefits, I still miss it!), I think that the majority of smokers just enjoy it and are very conscious of their surroundings and do not light up near children, pregnant women, people who detest smoke, etc.

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

I do have a friend who smokes and she does watch my kids occasionally. Her and her husband only smoke outside, and honestly, if I didnt know they smoked, I wouldnt know they smoked from being inside their house. It doesnt smell at all. She doesn't smoke in front of the kids, and I have no problem with it.

I think it is different if the house reeks like smoke, or if your child has health issues. I have a friend who has to ask before her son can go to a birthday party or friends house for a play if anyone smokes in the house. Her son has crazy bad asthma. She finds it really embarrassing to ask the question as she feels it isnt really her business, except that she needs to know for him.

fuchsiasky's picture
Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 955

If they smoked in the house I wouldn't let DD go over. As long as it is outside I am ok with DD going over. My mom smokes but takes it outside. She has DD once a week for a day. She comes home stinking of smoke! It is so yucky. But it is nothing a wash won't fix.

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

"elleon17" wrote:

As long as my child has no medical conditions prohibiting him, I have no issue with it.

Smoking is legal and as long as the parents are responsible and do not smoke in front of or near my child, I am ok with.

Being a person who has struggled with smoking (and despite the health benefits, I still miss it!), I think that the majority of smokers just enjoy it and are very conscious of their surroundings and do not light up near children, pregnant women, people who detest smoke, etc.

There's plenty of perfectly legal stuff adults can do that I wouldn't expose my kids to. Second hand smoke is a killer, and I'd never allow my kids in someone's house if they smoked inside. My FIL has finally given up trying to get us over for dinner. Aside from the health effects, it freaking reeks to high heaven.

elleon17's picture
Joined: 01/26/09
Posts: 1981

"Claire'sMommy" wrote:

There's plenty of perfectly legal stuff adults can do that I wouldn't expose my kids to. Second hand smoke is a killer, and I'd never allow my kids in someone's house if they smoked inside. My FIL has finally given up trying to get us over for dinner. Aside from the health effects, it freaking reeks to high heaven.

I agree that smoking inside makes it stink and is lingering with second hand, but that is not what I said. I wouldn't let my son hang out in a house where the parents are smoking in the house or in front of my children.

I think that it has become socially acceptable to pick on smokers for doing something that is legal was my point.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

Do people actually smoke inside their own home? How throwback and nasty.

If a parent was an actual like addict smoker (where they were constantly ducking out back to smoke while watching the kids) that might bother me. Then again it might bring up good conversation with the kids "why does Johnies Mom go outside in the freezing cold 20 times a day to smoke cigarettes, Mom?".

I don't know, I probably just have bigger worries. It isn't common to smoke cigarettes in ones home around here (unless you count Frat Houses as homes) so I just don't see this being a big deal in our lives.

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

"elleon17" wrote:

I agree that smoking inside makes it stink and is lingering with second hand, but that is not what I said. I wouldn't let my son hang out in a house where the parents are smoking in the house or in front of my children.

I think that it has become socially acceptable to pick on smokers for doing something that is legal was my point.

No, actually that's not what you said. You said:

Smoking is legal and as long as the parents are responsible and do not smoke in front of or near my child, I am ok with.


You made no mention in your first post about the parents having to smoke outside. You said the shouldn't smoke in front of or near your child. There's quite a big difference in the two statements.

elleon17's picture
Joined: 01/26/09
Posts: 1981

I apologize, because that is what I meant. I thought it but didn't type it. my bad

but, if my child is outside and someone smokes, that applies

Joined: 12/10/05
Posts: 1681

If they smoke in the house, then no way.

If they smoke outside only, then it would depend on how often, whether they still smells like an ashtray, etc.

We have one relative who smokes and I HATE bringing the kids over there. He smokes inside all the time (although not while the kids are there, if it is just DH and I he still does), but the smell lingers. I don't bring coats into their house and all the clothes go straight into the laundry. The smells gets into mine and DD hair until it is washed. We visit them usually once or twice a year. Yuck!

RebeccaA'07's picture
Joined: 11/19/07
Posts: 1628

I grew up in a two-parent smoking house, it was disgusting. Now, one quit and the other smokes outside. I let my daughter stay with my Mom all the time, she smells like smoke. It sucks and I complain about it but she's not inhaling her sweater. The relationship that my daughter has with my Mom is incredibly important to me and they adore each other.

If they still smoke inside, it would be totally different and I would not allow my child to be there. Which is exactly why my Dad quit and my Mom takes it outside.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

"Potter75" wrote:

Do people actually smoke inside their own home? How throwback and nasty.

If a parent was an actual like addict smoker (where they were constantly ducking out back to smoke while watching the kids) that might bother me. Then again it might bring up good conversation with the kids "why does Johnies Mom go outside in the freezing cold 20 times a day to smoke cigarettes, Mom?".

I don't know, I probably just have bigger worries. It isn't common to smoke cigarettes in ones home around here (unless you count Frat Houses as homes) so I just don't see this being a big deal in our lives.

Yeah, I was trying to think, and I don't think I know anyone who still even smokes other than socially when they are drinking, and certainly not in their own homes.

But anyway, if they smoked in the house, no way. I can imagine that would be a huge trigger for T's asthma, and I also agree that it stinks. If they always went outside, I probably would let him go over.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3189

It wouldn't be a deal-breaker for me.

boilermaker's picture
Joined: 08/21/02
Posts: 1984

"freddieflounder101" wrote:

It wouldn't be a deal-breaker for me.

Same here. We have a lot of family members that smoke (my MIL, SIL, grandmother, aunts, etc.) And many of them smoke in their houses (ewww is right!)

My kids don't have any respiratory issues so it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me. While dh and I are totally anti-smoking, I've found spending time w smokers to be a great deterrent to smoking for our kids. They are the ones who notice the smell, the teeth, the addiction-- we don't even have to mention it. Wink

And while I don't think that them breathing smoke is Good for them, I don't think the occasional (I'm talking twice/year) exposure to it is something to really worry about. I think about my childhood days of staying with my pack a day grandmother-- ugh! Gross, but no long term damage IMO. So yes, we go and visit my grandmother who still smokes. While we're with her she smokes outside, but her home still stinks of it and so do we when we leave.....such is life.