Speaking of double standards - skinny vs. overweight.

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KimPossible's picture
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Speaking of double standards - skinny vs. overweight.

Is it okay to let your kids think or say "too skinny" is ugly or not pretty?

I saw someone on FB recently express pride in the fact that their child made this comment in regards to someone on a reality tv show.

She received a few likes for the post and some people who saw the show chimed in and said they agreed with the observation.

Anyway, what do you think? Ok? or Not Ok?

MissyJ's picture
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No. I don't want my children calling anyone 'ugly' (or other names for that matter. AND -- just in case the child reading over my shoulder sees this -- that DOES apply to siblings too! LOL)

AlyssaEimers's picture
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No, I do not think it is acceptable to say that anyone looks ugly. I do think it is ok to say privately that someone looks unhealthy and to point out that it is not healthy to be underweight or overweight.

mom3girls's picture
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the word ugly in our house is only used to describe peoples actions or behavior.

But I do think the skinny v fat thing is a double standard. My sister is very skinny, looks a little too thin maybe, due to an overactive thyroid (and she works out a ton as a stress reliever) She constantly has people telling her she is "too skinny" which they find socially acceptable to say. I am only about 10lbs over an ideal weight for me, she is about 10 lbs under and no one tells me I am too fat.

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I think it's weird to be proud of such a thing.

But I'm not big on banning words. It's not about the words, it's about the intention. Talking about someone on TV is different from talking about someone in real life and my kids know the difference, just as I do.

In general if my kids were to judge someone on TV for being too fat or too skinny I would bring up the different factors that can lead to that, but they're allowed to have opinions and yes, even judgments, and they know better than to say nasty things about people in real life.

I don't even like the way school teaches them that certain words are "bad". The words ugly and stupid are not bad words. They are useful descriptive words. We can talk about not being cruel, or being compassionate, or being understanding, without me banning them from saying certain things. I'd rather have a discussion about it than tell them it's wrong to have and state an opinion. We all do it internally when we watch TV, I'd rather have it out in the open.