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  1. #21
    Posting Addict GloriaInTX's Avatar
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    I guess I see it kind of like buying a house in a neighborhood with a HOA. If you buy the plot there, then you have to respect their rules. I have no problem with that. The problem is that apparently this cemetery must not have been very clear about their rules, and even approved for this stone to be put in place. It's good that they are paying the cost to replace the stones, so I guess they are trying to make it right, but the family might have chosen a plot somewhere else if they had known in advance. So it is still kind of a raw deal for the family. If they really wanted to make it right they should pay to have the body dug up and moved somewhere else where the rules aren't as strict.
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  2. #22
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    I agree with Gloria. I still honestly and for the life of me do not understand why anyone cares - it's not a statue of Hitler or a pornographic image or something clearly offensive. It's just Sponge Bob. Personally, I can't stand Sponge Bob, but I still don't think he's offensive by any stretch of the imagination. Don't like him, don't look. I just don't really feel like we should all be protected against seeing things that we don't particularly care for. I mean, that could be taken anywhere. I don't like that color of pink you're wearing....I demand you wear a different color.....I think that PT Cruisers are ugly....how DARE my neighbors park a PT Cruiser in their driveway every day where I can see it....Ugh, I hate that guy's hairdo....he should not be allowed to eat in the same restaurant as me....You know? Again, it's one thing if it is something that is clearly meant to be offensive, like if the tombstone had a dirty word written on it or something. But spongebob....meh...sometimes we have to see things that aren't our cup of tea when we're out in public...oh well....

    (Sorry for all of the ellipses. I probably should go back and change them, but no.)
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  3. #23
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    Over all I do not think there should be any 7' statues other than if they are a part of the chemistry such as at the entrance.

    ETA - I think religious statues are fine at a church owned cemetery if they are normal sized. I would not care what anyone's grave was if it was normal sized.
    What is "normal sized" for a statue? I have been to cemetaries and seen 7 foot statues of angels. I admit that angels are prettier than Sponge Bob, but they also probably mean less to this family than Sponge Bob does (or else the family would have picked an angel instead.) So now we're saying that Sponge Bob is okay but he needs to be "normal sized", but we haven't defined what is a normal sized statue.
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  4. #24
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    I'm not sure why the family thought this kind of thing would ever be allowed in that cemetery. The website is all about how historic and natural the place is, and the photos show hardly any headstones at all, only a few old above-ground tombs and a couple of old spires. I think they buried her there, and then started to think later about a headstone. And I have yet to see anywhere where it says the cemetery approved the headstone knowing that it would be 7 feet tall. The cemetery may have approved the overall design, and even that fact is in dispute since the cemetery says that anything that doesn't fall within a given set of parameters, which this clearly does not, must obtain upper management approval, which this did not have.
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  5. #25
    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alissa_Sal View Post
    What is "normal sized" for a statue? I have been to cemetaries and seen 7 foot statues of angels.
    Maybe as an overall decoration but probably not on one person's grave.
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  6. #26
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spacers View Post
    I'm not sure why the family thought this kind of thing would ever be allowed in that cemetery. The website is all about how historic and natural the place is, and the photos show hardly any headstones at all, only a few old above-ground tombs and a couple of old spires. I think they buried her there, and then started to think later about a headstone. And I have yet to see anywhere where it says the cemetery approved the headstone knowing that it would be 7 feet tall. The cemetery may have approved the overall design, and even that fact is in dispute since the cemetery says that anything that doesn't fall within a given set of parameters, which this clearly does not, must obtain upper management approval, which this did not have.
    I have yet to see anywhere that says that the cemetary didn't know the size. It seems to me like that would be one of the elements that would be important to know as part of the design. The article didn't say that they didn't know the size, it said that the employees made an error in judgement, which makes me think that they did know the size, or at the very least didn't ask when they should have if size was going to be an important deciding factor. So for your question about "why would the family ever think that sort of thing is allowed in the cemetary" my answer would be because the cemetary approved it.
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  7. #27
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    Alissa - Would you think a statue of SP would be appropriate at one of the national monuments in Down town DC? At a historical national park? Or do you think those places should be serious and respectful? I believe a cemetery should have the same kind of respect.

    ~Bonita~

  8. #28
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spacers View Post
    Maybe as an overall decoration but probably not on one person's grave.
    So a seven foot statue in the middle of the common area of the cemetary is fine, but move it 10 feet over to a grave and it's a problem? That seems like a trivial difference to me.
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  9. #29
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaEimers View Post
    Alissa - Would you think a statue of SP would be appropriate at one of the national monuments in Down town DC? At a historical national park? Or do you think those places should be serious and respectful? I believe a cemetery should have the same kind of respect.
    We don't usually allow people to erect personal monuments (which is what a tombstone is) at national parks or national monuments. If we allowed individual families to erect their own personal monuments, some would be beautiful, some would be ugly, some would be silly.

    A girl I sort of vaguely knew in high school died in a car accident when she was 18. Her tombstone had her senior picture carved into it (really big, like at least a 12x13, probably bigger.) Another tombstone in that same cemetary was for a child, and it was a teddy bear. Those gravestones always stood out in my mind as being the sweetest and also the most heartbreaking for being the most personal. I put this SB thing in that category. It's silly, sure, but it is personal and meaningful to the people who picked it. I don't see how it costs anyone else anything to simply have to see it as they walk past to their own family member's grave. But again, I'm not huge into the idea that you shouldn't ever have to see anything that you don't personally care for when you are in public.
    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

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  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alissa_Sal View Post
    But again, I'm not huge into the idea that you shouldn't ever have to see anything that you don't personally care for when you are in public.
    We are talking about something you have paid thousands of dollars for.

    Let me try to give another example. When I was young my dad built and owned a sawmill. It was large and loud and meant there would be lots of trucks coming and going. Legally, he had to go to each of the neighbours and get their written approval before he could build. Ever after than anyone that moved there could not complain because they knew it was there when they moved in. If the SP statue was there when someone decided to bury their loved one then the family could not complain. All of those people who already had loved one's absolutely should not have to put up with it.

    ~Bonita~

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