Sweets as rewards.

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AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6568
Sweets as rewards.

Do you all use sweets as rewards? If not, what else do you use?

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

we try not to, and for Robbie who thinks that gum is a great treat it makes it easier. I grew up with food being a reward and I have a lot of issues around eating and do not want to pass that on. So what do we use? Extra computer time, books, trips to the science centre, trips to the dollar store

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6568

I also grew up with food as a reward, but do not want to do that for my girls because I am a comfort eater. They are getting old enough though that they just look at me when I promise a sticker.

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

I also grew up with food as a reward, but do not want to do that for my girls because I am a comfort eater. They are getting old enough though that they just look at me when I promise a sticker.

Robbie likes stickers still!

Joined: 08/17/04
Posts: 2226

There is no reward/punishment for food in our house. If there is a dessert everyone gets one.

If they have been good on a day out for errands we may stop for an ice cream but we don't tell them it is a reward. Just that we're stopping for ice cream.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3318

I tried to resist the food as reward thing but admittedly i don't.

When i rewarded Cecilia for using the potty properly, it worked better than with any of the other kids, whom i did not reward with sweets. I tried stickers and they just did not care...at..all.

And I do not let the kids eat dessert if they haven't eaten enough of their regular dinner. We don't have dessert every night, but if we do, you better actually eat your dinner if you want some.

Other than those two things, i really don't use sweets as rewards i guess.

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Yep. We do. Especially when it comes to eating vegetables. Last night J didn't want to eat the chicken and still got the half of a cookie he was promised for eating an adult sized serving of vegetables with a side of pasta mixed with more vegetables. He also gets sweet tea if he's been behaving the whole day with his lunch and other little things.

My sister takes it to the extreme. We usually do a general good day gets a treat, she gives my niece ice cream sandwiches just for taking a nap.

I use them for myself too. If I eat healthy all day, I have a glass of wine or a beer or some treat after dinner, if I flubbed I skip it. There is a lot of crap in my house that has been there for a while.....

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

"KimPossible" wrote:

I tried to resist the food as reward thing but admittedly i don't.

When i rewarded Cecilia for using the potty properly, it worked better than with any of the other kids, whom i did not reward with sweets. I tried stickers and they just did not care...at..all.

And I do not let the kids eat dessert if they haven't eaten enough of their regular dinner. We don't have dessert every night, but if we do, you better actually eat your dinner if you want some.

Other than those two things, i really don't use sweets as rewards i guess.

Kim - we did the same with potty training. What got me is DH's cousin still gives her kids candy rewards for going to the potty and they are 8 and 10!!!!! We stopped it within a month or so, then Robbie would get a treat (which could be a hot wheels car or something else) after so many days dry.

Robbie tries "how many more bites until I can have dessert"? We tell him to keep eating until he is full and then stop. Dessert is rare in our house unless it is fruit.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6568

"mom2robbie" wrote:

Robbie likes stickers still!

They like stickers, but are not necessarily going to hurry through cleaning their room for a sticker whereas they would for a cookie or candy.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6568

"mom2robbie" wrote:

Kim - we did the same with potty training. What got me is DH's cousin still gives her kids candy rewards for going to the potty and they are 8 and 10!!!!!

Yikes!

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

Yikes!

My MIL tried to give Robbie treats for using the potty when he was 5 and his comment to her was "I am a big boy nana, I do not need candy to go to the bathroom"!! LOL

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6568

That is too funny.

fuchsiasky's picture
Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 955

We try not to too much, but it happens. It is never a reward for eating other food though. If there is dessert we all get some. She would happily eat veggies all day so we are fortunate not to have to bribe her to eat her dinner. I have been heard to offer more peppers as a treat for actually eating some meat though.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4103

I do use candy or dessert as rewards when I feel that I need to. Potty training involves "Thomas Treats" (PEZ candy in a Thomas the Tank Engine dispenser; Tiven had Elmo Treats) because neither of my kids has ever been into stickers or collecting marks for a toy or any of that. And Weston is so super-resistant to eating vegetables right now (even things he used to love, he now says are "too spicy" LOL) that I'm happy to give him a cookie if he eats them without arguing or whining but it's not a negotiation. If he doesn't eat his veggies, I don't say you can have a cookie if you do. I simply told him once that I might give him a cookie if he starts eating his veggies like the big boy that he is, and when he does it, I give him a cookie after dinner. Both of those things will disappear as they are no longer needed. I can't imagine my 8yo expecting a treat for using the bathroom. I don't even know most of the time that she's using it unless I have to go at the same time & the door is closed. That's weird and kind of creepy to me.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

"KimPossible" wrote:

And I do not let the kids eat dessert if they haven't eaten enough of their regular dinner. We don't have dessert every night, but if we do, you better actually eat your dinner if you want some.

This. In theory, I am against using dessert as a reward for anything, and also against artificially making T eat more dinner than he wants. I figure it's his tummy, he knows when it's full. I never make him "clean his plate" because I think that's a bad habit to get into.

Having said that, from a practical standpoint, if T knows there is dessert, he would choose not to eat dinner and just eat dessert every time. He's got his dad's sweet tooth for sure (my husband, a supposedly grown man, would also happily skip dinner and just eat dessert if I would let him. :lol:) I can't abide to have T eat sweets as his dinner, so on the nights we have dessert, I insist that he eat a reasonable amount of food or else no dessert. He doesn't have to clean his plate, but I feed the kid every night, and I have a pretty good idea of how much he eats for dinner, so I expect him to eat around that same amount.

We don't do dessert most nights though, so I don't feel *too* bad about the whole thing.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3189

I only use food in food-related situations. Like...if you don't eat dinner at all, you don't get snacks afterwards, period. If you make a good effort with a meal, there can be dessert. Stuff like that. But if the issue isn't food-related then I keep food separate from it.

I also bake a lot, so sometimes for good behavior or to make up for something else not going right, I let them decide what I'm going to bake. Juliet picked out these awesome pumpkin gingersnaps last week.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6568

I do encourage my daughter to eat her whole plate (my oldest, 7), because otherwise she is acting like she is starving within 30 minutes. It is frustrating to go to an all you can eat buffet and she is saying she is hungry before we leave the parking lot. She easily eats as much as I do and you can still see all her ribs.

Joined: 05/13/02
Posts: 414

We don't really use sweets as rewards, but I'm also very open to the boys having them. For example, they can have a couple of cookies when they get home, if we have any in the pantry. And luckily half of the time they actually choose fruit instead. We rarely do dessert, since I'm usually just happy with getting dinner on the table. I'm like Jessica - sometimes we'll just go out for a treat without it having tagged to some sort of behavior or expectation.

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
Posts: 781

As much as I have tried not to, I do use it as a reward sometimes. It sucks but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and a brownie square to get him to leave me alone for a few minutes is what I feel is the last resort before I go crazy, lol. I very much worry about how this will impact him; I don't want him to grow up battling excessive weight. I will say he is not a picky eater though and at least he eats a very healthy variety as well. I still worry though :/

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1537

We use M&ms for potty training, but that has only ever lasted about a month. We also go to a really cool ice cream shop for "special night" every now and then, but I like to pretend the girls like it because it is special and not because of the ice cream

We do not do dessert very often, maybe less then once a month.

Joined: 08/17/04
Posts: 2226

Every time I see this thread I read it as Sweet A** Rewards.

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

"Jessica80" wrote:

Every time I see this thread I read it as Sweet A** Rewards.

lol

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

"Spacers" wrote:

I can't imagine my 8yo expecting a treat for using the bathroom. I don't even know most of the time that she's using it unless I have to go at the same time & the door is closed. That's weird and kind of creepy to me.

They come and ask for it, that is how I even found out. I was over and the 10 year old came out saying he wanted a chocolate for going #2!!! I guess they get a different candy if they pee!

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

"freddieflounder101" wrote:

I also bake a lot, so sometimes for good behavior or to make up for something else not going right, I let them decide what I'm going to bake. Juliet picked out these awesome pumpkin gingersnaps last week.

You know that you are not getting away without sharing the recipe!!!

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3189

"mom2robbie" wrote:

You know that you are not getting away without sharing the recipe!!!

Pumpkin Gingersnap Cookies

It's always on the blog!