Transgender Attack and Bathrooms

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culturedmom's picture
Joined: 09/30/06
Posts: 1131
Transgender Attack and Bathrooms

First, this article has the video at the end. I have not watched it, but I have heard that it is graphic and horrific, so just a warning.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/04/23/2011-04-23_mcdonalds_beating_video_victim_is_transgender_maryland_attack_is_hate_crime_says.html

There are so many topics that can spin off this horrible story. Hate crimes, prosecution of people who stand by or video tape but not stepping in, etc. Maybe I will start s/o. But the topic for this debate is where do you think transgendered people should go to the bathroom in public? Are you comfortable seeing a male to female transgendered person in a woman's bathroom?

I ask this question because it is said that witnesses heard the victim yelling "where should I go to the bathroom" as she was being beaten and that the argument started over her using the women's bathroom. (FYI, there is also speculation of the fight being over flirting of some sort.)

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

I don't have a problem with it. I'd have a problem with the opposite. If a woman was in the process of becoming a man and then came into the bathroom dressed as a man, it would aggravate me.

I was sick to my stomach at the video when I watched it this weekend. If I could take back watching it I would. Just another warning to others.

RebeccaA'07's picture
Joined: 11/19/07
Posts: 1628

If you have a penis, go to the men's room and if you have a vagina, go to the women's room. Simple. More distrubing is the fact that people actually stood around and watched this female get beaten, they should have a spin in jail too.

Frankly, I don't care who is in the stall next to me as long as you aren't trying to sneak a peek.

What a disgusting action, hopefully they hold the abusers to the highest level possible and they get severe punishment.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

I didn't watch the video.

I think that people should use the bathroom of whatever gender they identify with. I disagree with Rebecca that it is as simple as "if you have a penis, go to the men's room." I think that a transgendered person dressed as a woman in the men's room would make everyone far more uncomfortable, and sadly, possibly put her at a greater risk for this same kind of violence.

Honestly, as long as someone isn't trying to take a peek, I cannot imagine why anyone would care or feel uncomfortable.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4087

"RebeccaA'07" wrote:

If you have a penis, go to the men's room and if you have a vagina, go to the women's room. Simple.

You obviously don't understand the mechanics of being transgendered. You can identify as a woman & dress as a woman but because of finances or health issues might still have a penis. Why should that woman --she *IS* a woman in every sense except for her genitalia -- have to use the men's room because of an anatomical mistake? Sad That sounds like back in the early 1900s when some women started wearing pants & other dress-wearing women wouldn't let them into public restrooms because of it. They are still women regardless of their clothing, or lack of surgical correction. Transgendered people should use the restroom that they identify as. If they are taking female hormones & wearing women's clothing, they use the women's room no matter what plumbing they have underneath.

I can't see the video, but my concern would be if this woman was attacked for another reason (cutting in line, saying something nasty to them as she went in, etc.) and this is being labeled a hate crime because she happens to be transgendered. That's not right. If she was attacked because they perceived her as a "man" using the "wrong" bathroom, then it's a hate crime & should be prosecuted as such. And I think those employees who are laughing & not doing anything to help should be fired, at the least, and probably cited for something.

fudd8963's picture
Joined: 12/27/07
Posts: 1630

I can't read the article at work, but I wanted to comment anyway. I agree with Alissa. Whatever gender they identify themself as, and are dressed as, they should use that restroom. If you didn't know that someone using the stall next to use hasn't had a gender reassignment sugery, then you would have no idea what was in their pants.

I am sensitive to this subject because the lady I share a cube with at work used to be a man. I met "him" and started working with "him" only several months before "he" started with the surgeries to become a female. I have learned SO much from her. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to grow up never being comfortable in your own body. And in her particular case, there was actually a drug that her mother took while she was pregnant to prevent miscarriages that is now outlawed because it causes excessive amounts of female hormones in fetuses, especially male fetuses. Which explains her situation.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

Being completely honest, I have very little (okay absolutely no) experience with the transgender community. But interesting this topic should come up after a recent trip to a local restaurant with my family. My daughter had to use the restroom so I took her. We walk in, and standing at the sink is a man complete with facial hair wearing a dress, heels, and make-up. My daughter was terribly confused and gave him one of her classic WTH kind of looks. I tried to shoo her into the stall, but being a kid she asked, "Is that a woman or did we go into the wrong bathroom?" I didn't even have an answer for her because I think I was as confused as the individual standing at the sink!

If you look like a man, regardless of what you are wearing, I'd appreciate you using the men's restroom. Feel free to let me know if I'm being incredibly un-PC.

Joined: 04/12/03
Posts: 1683

We were talking about this at work yesterday. The law in CA is that you can use the bathroom for the sex you identify with. It's interesting when you are talking about 13 year-olds. (That's how the topic came up - there is a student who is coming to terms with it.)

Joined: 06/22/10
Posts: 5602

"RebeccaA'07" wrote:

Frankly, I don't care who is in the stall next to me as long as you aren't trying to sneak a peek.

this

Joined: 08/05/06
Posts: 441

People should use whatever restroom they identify with. There are several trans people where I work and can I tell you how much of a nonissue it is to share a bathroom with them. I genuinely cannot imagine caring and really don't get why anyone would.

Rivergallery's picture
Joined: 05/23/03
Posts: 1301

Am I comfortable... nope. Are they? nope. I would like alternate bathroom options. Maybe for new buildings always have a "family room" available for instance. It could be used for those in wheelchairs, those who don't want to pick mens or womens, or for those of us with children of the opposite gender that won't allow our children to go into the bathroom without us.

Joined: 08/05/06
Posts: 441

"Rivergallery" wrote:

Am I comfortable... nope. Are they? nope. I would like alternate bathroom options. Maybe for new buildings always have a "family room" available for instance. It could be used for those in wheelchairs, those who don't want to pick mens or womens, or for those of us with children of the opposite gender that won't allow our children to go into the bathroom without us.

How do you know that trans women aren't comfortable using a woman's bathroom? The ones I know are, since they're women and all.

Rivergallery's picture
Joined: 05/23/03
Posts: 1301

They are not comfortable with the stares, and the other negative social issues they have to deal with.. and OBVIOUSLY they would not be comfortable being BEAT.

Joined: 08/05/06
Posts: 441

"Rivergallery" wrote:

They are not comfortable with the stares, and the other negative social issues they have to deal with.. and OBVIOUSLY they would not be comfortable being BEAT.

Where I work, no one stares at trans women and certainly don't beat them in the bathroom. I wouldn't feel comfortable if people were staring at me in the women's bathroom and beating me. That doesn't mean I need my own separate bathroom.

ETA: If you're uncomfortable with other women using the women's restroom, that's your problem. I suggest you stop using public restrooms or find a family bathroom for yourself.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

I don't really care what bathroom anyone uses. I mean, if a person with a vagina was using a urinal, I can see that being uncomfortable for a bunch of men at a sporting event.....but as all bathrooms (m/f alike) provide stalls, I don't get the issue. I take my 4 yo son into the ladies bathroom all the time and never worry about it making someone uncomfortable.

I can't watch the video as I am emotionally fragile in general, but my heart breaks for anyone who is beaten, and is positively sickened at the thought of children beating someone up.

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