Virtual Baby Showers

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Alissa_Sal's picture
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Virtual Baby Showers

Virtual Baby Showers (everone sends you a gift and watches you open it online) - tacky, or perfectly fine in the technology age?

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My gut reaction is EWW! The whole idea of a shower is to invite close friends/family to get together with the guest(s) of honour... food... fun... gifts... etc. Doing it "virtually" seems to take away from the whole traditional idea/reason for it. I couldn't see myself doing it or taking part in one.

RebeccaA'07's picture
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I guess I really don't care what other people do. I've seen people skype in for a shower because they couldn't make it in, doesn't bother me.

I do like the traditional type showers of getting together to celebrate, lots of food and friends. I actually felt weird opening gifts at my shower...I was more relieved to just hang out and enjoy.

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I don't really like the idea. I like the social, visit, celebrate the new baby/wedding aspect of the shower. This just sounds like a gift grab. Not my thing, at all.

ftmom's picture
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Feels like a gift grab to me. Like, I dont like you enough to want to see you, but please send me a present.

Having said that though, if you have alot of distant family who want to send presents anyways, I could see saying something like 'I would love to share this moment with you and show off all the wonderful things people have given me. Please join us online at whatever time'. If done properly it could seem more of a way of showing appreciation and that you are happy to receive the gifts.

If I was 'invited' to one, I probably wouldnt 'attend' though.

culturedmom's picture
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Why not forget about all the fake, watch me open your stuff cause it will make you so happy, hoopla and just say what it really is....I don't want to put on a shower but I want you to still give me presents.

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Meh. I guess it's tacky for those just too lazy to throw the shower or too lazy to drive to somebody's house. Yeah, that's in bad taste. I'm just trying to think of a situation where it's acceptable. I guess if you're preggers and move away from all your friends to a foreign country, or across the country, etc. and nobody can attend in person, then yeah I could see it being okay. That's about the only scenario I can think of right now.

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My MIL was recently invited to a babyshower (with registry info) for a friend of hers daughter....who wasn't there.

I think that that is super weird. Then again, I'm a bit of a stickler when it comes to shower's in general when it comes to etiquette.

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"culturedmom" wrote:

Why not forget about all the fake, watch me open your stuff cause it will make you so happy, hoopla and just say what it really is....I don't want to put on a shower but I want you to still give me presents.

This. I get how some people would skype in because they can't make the event. Family does that here for holidays. But to have a virtual shower seems incredibly selfish and lazy.

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I was born and raised in NY. I moved to TN for college. Got married and stayed there. When I got married there were people who I had known all my life that wanted to give me a bridal shower but we just couldn't make it work. They all went into gather and sent a very nice gift by mail. It was not because they had to, but because they wanted to.

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I think the whole idea is pretty tacky, but maybe if i was faced with a situation where it seemed to fit i'd feel different.

If i had a very close to me family member move away and had no real way whatsoever to get back to family and they were all alone i could see a little tug on the family's hearts to try to make it feel like they could do all the things you would normally do for a pregnant mom.

The thing that bugs me about it is that the whole family getting together and bonding...catching up, chatting, sharing stories etc is kind of missed in this situation and I think that part should really be more valued than the gift giving.

I saw in a different place on the web that someone said she got an invitation to shower a mom with gifts. The person had moved far away. But there wasn't even a virtual meet up, you were just supposed to send her a gift in the mail and thats it.

I think that is REALLY really tacky and nothing would convince me that that is an acceptable substitute for a shower.

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I don't like it. I like having baby showers because of the interaction with friends and family that I don't get any other time because I'm too busy with a full time job and kids! The gifts are just an added bonus. On a side note though, I don't like opening the gifts at the shower. I take them home and do it in private... then I send out thank you cards.

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I know some military momma's friends and families do this. I remember one girl venting because her MIL threw a huge one while she was in Germany and she didn't want one at all but did it to please her. I think in some situations it's more the family who feels like they are losing out on a fun event to celebrate the new baby and push the virtual showers. I love showers (I know I'm weird) and would be happy to celebrate virtually if invited.

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I love virtual showers. I love Skyping in to my friends' showers. But I live on the other side of the world from people who have showers, which we don't here.

My first birth board on here did a virtual shower which was totally awesome.

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It's a good idea if you live far away from family and friends.

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MAYBE under the right circumstance it would be ok. For instance, my brother and his family live across country. So when we threw a shower for my SIL we did a "wrapping party" where everyone brought there gift unwrapped and then we all wrapped them together and mailed them to her. This was many years ago, but it would have been nice if she could have SKYPEd in and been there other then just called and passed a phone around.

I almost had to miss one of my baby showers too. I was put on bedrest a week before my shower in my home town (2 hours away). I wasn't supposed to go, but I did.

But under normal circumstances, I think it's a bit tacky.

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My normal reaction would be no, but I do know of a similar situation.

A friend's sister in-law was pregnant with Twins in New Jersey and two weeks before she was supposed to fly to michigan (where all family & friends were), she went on bed rest.

Her husband video taped her opening all the presents and everyone still got together in Michigan and watched the tape.

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I can see how its being tacky! I have many friends and family that live in other states. My SIL threw me a shower and invited friends that lived out of town. Only a few sent gifts and it was nice and unexpected. Tho i know a girl who is having a "virtual shower" and is going to open presents she invited her whole fb. I think thats just saying SEND ME GIFTS PLEASE!! So really i guess it depends on your situation. I think its pricey tho

b525's picture
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Several of the descriptions here sound like occasions when I would roll my eyes and not attend. But, like others, I can see that there are some circumstances that might warrant one of these showers - moving away and the family/friends still want to do something, bedrest, etc.

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Sounds tacky to me, with the exception of certain situations.

As for those who mentioned not opening the gifts at the shower, awwww, why not? I LOVE seeing the reaction of the mother-to-be when she opens my gift! And I'm sure others feel the same way. I don't think it's weird or selfish at all. Most of the gifts are for the baby anyway, and who doesn't love giving gifts for a baby, right? Smile

That being said, I can see how it might make some guests might feel bad watching the mother open gifts, because they see what some of the other guests give, like huge gift bags filled with multiple items, or the big, expensive gifts, like a high chair or crib, and could only afford to get one small gift.

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Not my bag under most circumstances.

I agree that there can be times when it might be appropriate like for a military family, a far away mom on bed rest - those types of situations.

But for the normal every day circumstances I find it distasteful. I agree that part of the idea is getting everyone together. I too tend to be a stickler for etiquette and manners. By the nature of anything virtual you lose that responsibility factor.

I did skype into one party for a friend of mine. She and all her family and friends live in Georgia. With my life (5 kids, job, etc) I just couldn't get down there for the shower. So I sent a gift and we skyped for a few minutes during the shower so I could say hi to everyone. I did not stay on to "see" her open her gifts - just wanted to pop in and say hello to let her know I was thinking of her. (but again, the shower was a IRL shower - not a virtual one - I was the only virtual attendee). I felt ok about that and she seemed thrilled to be able to include me.