wearing rings (fluff)

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mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541
wearing rings (fluff)

One of the DJ's commented on one of her friends not wearing her engagement ring most of the time and wondered what the norm was for people wearing their engagement rings or wedding bands.

So, what do you think/do?

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

For me, I always wore my engagement ring unless I was cleaning or swimming. Some nights I would take it off to sleep but that was about it. I wore both rings until about half way through my pregnancy with Robbie and then my fingers were too swollen. I stopped wearing my engagement ring after scratching Robbie with it Sad and just wore my wedding band. For our 10th wedding anniversary I got a new ring that does not fit with the other two. I only wear my anniversary band now. I actually had to buy Sean a ring as he complained that my new ring was white gold so it did not match his ring any more. So we both wear our anniversary rings now. Sean's definitely looks like a wedding band but mine not so much, but it is a ring I love.

Rivergallery's picture
Joined: 05/23/03
Posts: 1301

My parents and grandparents didn't since as long as I can remember. I am not right now because I need to get mine fixed. My husbands after about 10 years got too worn to wear.. he works with his hands a lot.. It did use to bother me that he didn't wear it.. I do think about it sometimes.. but it doesn't usually bother me.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3312

"mom2robbie" wrote:

One of the DJ's commented on one of her friends not wearing her engagement ring most of the time and wondered what the norm was for people wearing their engagement rings or wedding bands.

So, what do you think/do?

A few months back i found that my rings felt extremely tight in the morning time if i wore them all night, not horribly tight, i could still move them around and stuff, but enough that it was problematic to take them off and i did NOT like that feeling. So I've started taking them off at night. However, that now means that sometimes i forget to put them back on.

When i used to wear them 24/7, it felt weird to have them off so i noticed right away and put them back on. Now the feeling of having them off doesn't feel so foreign, so sometimes when I'm rushing (And thats often) I will not remember to put them back on in the morning.

My sister in law never wears her wedding band/engagement ring...but she does wear another ring everyday instead. I'm not sure if there is any meaning behind the ring or where she got it. I've never bothered to ask.

I don't know...i think it depends on the person. There are much better signs about how a relationship is going than if they wear a ring or not, so i try not to put much thought into it when i notice someone not wearing one.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

When I was engaged and newly married, I wore my rings 24/7 no matter what. Even years into my marriage I wore both rings all the time. I never understood people who did not. Then when Caitlyn was a baby I scratched her face with my engagement ring. I was devastated and have not worn it much since. Only for special occasions. I do still wear my wedding ring all the time. The only times I have taken my wedding ring off in the last 11 years is when it was being re-sized and when it did not fit while I was pregnant. When I could not wear it because I was pregnant I wore it in a chain around my neck.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3187

We didn't do the engagement ring thing, but I wear my wedding band (with another simple ring on top of it that Dave bought me a few years later) all the time. I think the only time I take it off is when I do headstands in yoga! Funny. I take off all my rings for that.

The only ring I have with a stone on it is one that was my mom's. Her husband bought it for her the first Christmas after they moved out to BC together and I have been wearing it every day since she died. I was not used to wearing a stone so I asked her husband when she took it off, and he said at night and in the shower, so that's what I do. It definitely has taken a while for me to get used to having that type of ring so I totally understand why someone wouldn't wear an engagement ring all the time.

My sister & sisters-in-law also didn't have engagement rings so I don't know what the "norm" is.

Joined: 08/17/04
Posts: 2226

Except during the later stages of my pregnancie I wear my rings all the time. Dh wears his ring as well.

Danifo's picture
Joined: 09/07/10
Posts: 1377

I cannot wear my engagement ring now due to the effects of pregnancy. I got my ring when I was 10 lbs higher than my pre pregnancy weight but now I can't get it on unless I'm 5 lbs below my pre pregnancy weight. Even then, if I do anything with my hands, the knuckles swell too much. I'll probably get it resized when I'm done having kids.

We both wear our wedding bands all the time.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

I wear mine all the time. Was lucky to not have swelling so wore them through pregnancy too. Wouldn't dream of going without my engagement ring I love it.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

My engagement ring and wedding band are fused together, so if I wear one I have to wear both. I take them off at night and don't put them back on until after I shower the next day. I love my ring(s) but like Kim mentioned, I sometimes forget to put it on. It doesn't really bother me if I do, but I wear it most days. DH doesn't wear his ever. He HATES any kind of jewelry (doesn't wear any other rings or a watch or anything like that.) He wore it for a whole after we got married and he would fidget with it constantly because he hated the feeling and just never got used to it. So I told him I was ok if he stopped wearing it. Like Kim, I don't think that whether you wear a piece of jewelry is a good indicator of the strength/health of your relationship, and I try not to "make" him do things that he hates.

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

Neither DH or I wear our rings. Me because I gained weight with my babies and they dont fit right now (I would get them resized, but I am struggling to lose my baby weight right now and it is one more motivator). DH doesnt wear his due to work. He sometimes wears it when we are on holidays, but generally they all stay in my jewelry box. Its not like people dont know we are married, we have a good relationship, and we both know we arent just avoiding tan lines Smile

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

"ftmom" wrote:

and we both know we arent just avoiding tan lines Smile

had to laugh at that line.

The friend the radio DJ was talking about was going to bars/parties without her ring and it is a long distance relationship. I am guessing that there was a question of whether she was leaving it off on purpose.

I asked the question because I was interested to see what others do. I did not want an engagement ring but our rings are Sean's mom's and dad's, his dad died when he was 3. It is a nice set but not something I would have chose. My anniversary ring that I wear now I did choose and I love it.

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

I always took mine off to wash up, and thats how I have somehow lost them. I haven't worn my rings for probably close to 18 months now, and I wish I knew where they were

Joined: 05/13/02
Posts: 414

I used to wear mine every day, but since I lost weight it's gotten too big for my ring finger. I seriously need to get it resized, since I can slide it off way too easily.

DH wears his every day. And right now, he can't even take it off since he jammed that finger playing basketball last week!

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4100

"mom2robbie" wrote:

I did not want an engagement ring but our rings are Sean's mom's and dad's, his dad died when he was 3. It is a nice set but not something I would have chose. My anniversary ring that I wear now I did choose and I love it.

Maybe have them melted down & made into something else. That way you'd still have the memories & emotions, but a piece of jewelry that you'd want to wear. My mom had her old wedding rings melted down into a nugget & the diamonds set into it. It's gorgeous and she wears it all the time.

I didn't want an engagement ring. I don't like the paternalistic traditions behind the ritual and I didn't feel the need to indicate to anyone that I was "off the market." My wedding ring is actually three small rings, one each of yellow, pink, and white gold, linked together. I have only rarely taken it off. When I swelled up at the end of my pregnancy with Tiven, I moved it to a different finger, but I never had to move it when pregnant with Weston. A few months after Tiven was born, I told DH that after 20 years together, 10 years of marriage, and our first child, I was ready for some bling. I emailed him a link to the three-stone anniversary ring I wanted. Blum 3 He gave it to me for the Winter Solstice that year. I wear it behind my wedding ring because it's a wee bit loose. DH doesn't always wear his but it's just because he took it off for backpacking or working on the bikes and forgot to put it back on, not that he's out looking for someone else.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3187

"Spacers" wrote:

I didn't want an engagement ring. I don't like the paternalistic traditions behind the ritual and I didn't feel the need to indicate to anyone that I was "off the market." .

Yep....that was me too.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

I was the total opposite. Loved everything about that ring and what it symbolized- the excitement, our commitment, his joy and thoughtfulness and consideration in picking it out and sweet proposal...... Ahhhhh, I loved it all Smile still makes me happy thinking about those days and all that went into that ring and I truly treasure it and the memories it symbolizes.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

I agree Melissa. I love my engagement ring because I love the memories of that happy time in our lives, and I love that he went to the trouble to find just the right ring. It's a gorgeous ring, exactly to my tastes. He did a good job figuring out exactly what I like and making it happen. Smile

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3187

I'm just not much of a jewelry person, to be honest. Plus I did the proposing! He brought up the subject the first time, but I did the actual proposal one happy afternoon hanging out looking out over Long Island Sound. We ended up getting married in that same spot.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

That's really sweet that you got married at the same place you got engaged! :biglove:

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3187

"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

That's really sweet that you got married at the same place you got engaged! :biglove:

We are sappy romantics. Smile

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

"Spacers" wrote:

Maybe have them melted down & made into something else. That way you'd still have the memories & emotions, but a piece of jewelry that you'd want to wear.

Right now we are keeping the rings for Robbie.

"freddieflounder101" wrote:

Plus I did the proposing! He brought up the subject the first time

I proposed too! But we could not get married where I proposed as it was in our bed Wink