At what age?

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AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6568
At what age?

I will admit to wanting to know for personal reasons...

At what age did you/ do you plan to talk to your kids about puberty?

Rivergallery's picture
Joined: 05/23/03
Posts: 1301

My boys are 9 and 10 they already know a lot, we had the "sex talk" also last year. I am going to do more regarding their bodies this year, in Public school they learn it all in 5th grade here. For us it has always just been a part of life that we discuss as we go along, and one day they were asking lots of questions about sex, and I gave them short answers, and they kept asking more, so I just answered in a loving truthful open, yet in a way that also brought in our Religious beliefs, it worked well. It was a bit awkward about the actual act of sex, but then my youngest said, so you and Dad had sex.. I said Yes at least twice we have two kids.. LOL

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6568

I am more thinking about BO, periods, boobs... Sex can wait I think Smile

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

lol....DD, the ripe age of 5, already knows about periods. She never leaves me alone in the bathroom and has asked if I'm hurt because she sees blood. At this age I've simply reassured her that mom isn't hurt and that it's just my period. She asks what that is and I tell her that once a month mommy's tummy gets ready to grow a baby but because we're not having anymore babies the nest for the baby egg to grow comes out and looks like blood. Now she just asks me when she sees the Tampax out "Do you have your period, mommy?"

I realize the conversation will be a bit different in a few years' time.

Rivergallery's picture
Joined: 05/23/03
Posts: 1301

My boys knew what periods where when they were little bitty because of the same reason. They know a bit about erections and BO and hair that will grow. I did tell them if they ever wake up with a wet bed it is ok just to tell me so we can clean it up, and that sometimes it happens even when they are Teens, this year I tell them why... Holy Moley ;). They know girls get breasts and periods and BO also as we have talked about that and they see me .. they used to call my pads "Mommy's diapers" LOL.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

I just kind of talk to him as things come up. I honestly don't remember why, but T already knows that when he's a teenager his body will grow hair and his feet will stink. Lol Whenever we see teenagers, he always asks me "Do their feet stink?" Lol Thus far it's just kind of been through the normal flow of conversation, and will continue to be, as has questions about sex and babies. I don't give him more information than he asks for or then I think he "needs" and will understand at this point, but I do try to answer his questions about bodies, genitals, babies, et cetera, honestly and without making it a big deal about it. When he is older, I will probably have some more formal conversations about deoderant and shaving (although the shaving stuff will also hopefully fall to DH...) as well as about sex and birth control and whatnot, but I anticipate those starting in late elementary school when puberty is starting to kick in. For the time being, I am happy with an informal "as needed" basis.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3317

Its been an ongoing conversation with us, with age appropriate answers, when asked by the kids.

At Emma's last appointment (her 11 year check up), i was asked if we wanted to do the Gardasil shot and i was told i need to have the birds and bees conversation.

There are probably things in more detail that Emma needs to know at this point, but she already knows a lot. I need to go over the nitty gritty so she knows specifically what to do/stays relatively calm the first time she gets here period.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3317

"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

I am more thinking about BO, periods, boobs... Sex can wait I think Smile

My daughter asked very specific questions about how babies are made when she was around 9 years old...and she was also being fed information by other school age kids. Was best for her to be told matter of factly how babies were made...by an adult instead of wondering about the mysteries that were being offerred up by her peers.

Honestly, i tihnk she's forgotten a lot of what was told to her because we don't talk about it routinely. Hasnt' seemed like a big deal really.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6568

My oldest is 7 1/2. She is very shy about asking questions. I will notices her looking at me and I can see the steam coming from her thinking, but she never asks anything. My 5 yo however is asking me everything. "Why do I wear deodorant? Why do I have big boobies? "Why is there something bloody in the trash?". I am sure my oldest has just as many questions, but is less willing to ask. I bought a book "The Care and Keeping of You". I am hoping if we read it together, it will spur conversation, but I am just not sure what age to read it. The book says puberty starts between ages 8-13, and she will be 8 in a few month but I just don't know.

There are so many times when my first reaction is to say "Go ask your mother" and then realize, I am there mother! It is also at those times I wish for 3 boys instead of 3 girls so DH would get to deal with it.

boilermaker's picture
Joined: 08/21/02
Posts: 1984

We've talked about everything with our kids, and not made a big deal of it. They know about periods, babies, penises, etc. They were curious, and we just answered in age appropriate terms.

They didn't think it was such a big deal. Just shocked that we did *that* five times.....lol. We have not had the conversation about choosing to have sex for pleasure and not baby-making. Yet.

ClairesMommy's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 2299

"boilermaker" wrote:

We've talked about everything with our kids, and not made a big deal of it. They know about periods, babies, penises, etc. They were curious, and we just answered in age appropriate terms.

They didn't think it was such a big deal. Just shocked that we did *that* five times.....lol. We have not had the conversation about choosing to have sex for pleasure and not baby-making. Yet.

DD is aware of her body. That's for sure. She's said in the bathtub "Mommy, my vagina thing is sticking out" while touching herself. Then she burst out laughing. I did nothing, just said something like "Is it?" I mean, what are you supposed to say? She was 4 at the time.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4103

Like the others, we've been addressing things as they come up. Since we planned a homebirth a few years ago, Tiven already knows a lot about how babies are made & born, and why women bleed -- although I don't anymore thanks to Mirena! Blum 3 She's asked about deodorant and I've told her to let me know if she thinks she's getting stinky. We've talked about body hair and breasts, I've explained that those things happen when your body is finishing its growing, but there's actually a girl on her soccer team who has breasts already. She's not even 9 but she's overweight and she could definitely use a bra. :shock:

Funny about periods, I never bothered to tell my mom when I got mine. She started in with "the talk" one night and I laughed and told her that she was about six months too late. I think I was eleven. Our ped says that vegetarians tend to develop later, on average about four years later, so that's good.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6568

See, my niece is only 6 weeks older than DD and already has boobs (She is also over weight). TMI, but I was a 36 C at 11 and started AF in 4th grade. DD does not really favour me, but I do not want to be caught unaware. DD is very innocent, and I am struggling with what and when to tell her things. Without a little brother in the family, I doubt she even knows the real difference between boys and girls, but neither do I know how to tell her.

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1537

We have been very open about all of it, talking in little pieces since they were very little. My girls have known about periods since they were all about 4 (my now 5 year old asked one time if her older sister needed "Mommy bandaids" really loudly at the store, thought my older DD would die) We told both the big girls about sex in between 2 and 3rd grade, in a very simple way. Since then they have both asked questions of both DH and I, they are very comfortable about it.

Funny story, last year it was just DD2 (9 at the time) and I in the car and she asked "If you have sex for a very long time do you get pregnant with twins" After telling her how twins are concieved I asked her why she wanted to know she said "well I want a boy and a girl someday but only want to have sex one time" I almost drove off the road trying not to laugh at her

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6568

"mom3girls" wrote:

Funny story, last year it was just DD2 (9 at the time) and I in the car and she asked "If you have sex for a very long time do you get pregnant with twins" After telling her how twins are concieved I asked her why she wanted to know she said "well I want a boy and a girl someday but only want to have sex one time" I almost drove off the road trying not to laugh at her

That is too cute. I really was expecting everyone to say that 7 1/2 was too young. We started reading the book today which started off with brushing hair and teeth. Nothing new there, but I think it will be a good start.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

"mom3girls" wrote:

We have been very open about all of it, talking in little pieces since they were very little. My girls have known about periods since they were all about 4 (my now 5 year old asked one time if her older sister needed "Mommy bandaids" really loudly at the store, thought my older DD would die) We told both the big girls about sex in between 2 and 3rd grade, in a very simple way. Since then they have both asked questions of both DH and I, they are very comfortable about it.

Funny story, last year it was just DD2 (9 at the time) and I in the car and she asked "If you have sex for a very long time do you get pregnant with twins" After telling her how twins are concieved I asked her why she wanted to know she said "well I want a boy and a girl someday but only want to have sex one time" I almost drove off the road trying not to laugh at her

ROFL

That's hysterical!!!!

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4103

I just have to ask, has anyone read that book? How does it seem, overall, to you? I do want to get one for Tiven but I was looking through one of those puberty books recently and it seemed like a big ad for Procter & Gamble, and it was the only one my local bookstore had. I think every page had the brand name of something you could buy to help with whatever that topic was. It wasn't just, "Wash your face daily," it was, "Wash your face with Noxcema," kinds of things. So I need to do some research & have them order something else for me. I'd love to pick anyone's brain who has looked through one or more of them.

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 848

My 7 y.o. is starting to ask some very basic questions. Mostly things along the lines of..."do you have to be married before you have a baby?" and "Can you get pregnant if you haven't finished college yet?" She's very concerned about the order things should be done in, lol. At this point we've just told her that God will give her a baby when she's ready and that we'll discuss it more as she gets older. Now she wants the dog to have puppies so I'm sure the whole sex talk is well on its way. Yikes!

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1537

Stacie, our girls got a book that is in the "American Girl" doll book series. They are both avid readers, but didnt like the book. Both of them said they liked that they could just talk to me instead. We will see what DD3 thinks, she could be totally different.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6568

The book that I bought was The American Girl book, "The Care And Keeping of You". The book seems good so far. I am hoping it will give us a starting point in conversation.

mommytoMR.FACE's picture
Joined: 04/10/09
Posts: 781

"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

I just kind of talk to him as things come up. I honestly don't remember why, but T already knows that when he's a teenager his body will grow hair and his feet will stink. Lol Whenever we see teenagers, he always asks me "Do their feet stink?" Lol Thus far it's just kind of been through the normal flow of conversation, and will continue to be, as has questions about sex and babies. I don't give him more information than he asks for or then I think he "needs" and will understand at this point, but I do try to answer his questions about bodies, genitals, babies, et cetera, honestly and without making it a big deal about it. When he is older, I will probably have some more formal conversations about deoderant and shaving (although the shaving stuff will also hopefully fall to DH...) as well as about sex and birth control and whatnot, but I anticipate those starting in late elementary school when puberty is starting to kick in. For the time being, I am happy with an informal "as needed" basis.

Haha about T asking about stinky feet!! Luckily, Jace has had the grossest smelling feet since he was born so he has passed that step already Biggrin

Jace loves to touch his penis when he is watching tv naked and I usually tell him that he should only touch his penis in private. I also tell him that it is going to fall off and I'm going to throw it outside to the wolves. The actual serious talks will probably come in about 2nd grade or so. I'd like to preerve his innocence just a few years longer Sad All though, I caught him playing with my tampons (still in their individual packaging) acting like they were missiles, haha!

boilermaker's picture
Joined: 08/21/02
Posts: 1984

We do address the "pleasure" part with our kids by acknowledging that we know it feels good to touch there, and that they are welcome to do so. But that is something that should be done alone in the bathroom or alone in your bedroom (not while sharing a bath with a sibling or while watching tiv or at the park, etc.) And that there is nothing wrong with touching there, just that it should be done alone. Wink

Also, I've not read it, but I've heard good things about this book:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0818406089/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0818406089&linkCode=as2&tag=desmom-20

Seems like a good read.

Joined: 12/10/05
Posts: 1681

My oldest is 7 (a boy) and so far we just address issues honestly and simply when they come up. I supposed we'll start getting into a little more detail in the next couple years.

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

Robbie is 7 and we have answered questions as they have come up. He knows we are trying for another baby and so there are a few questions there. He has quite a few body books that show pictures of both males and females. He has read the book "What to expect when your mom is expecting" (or whatever the full title is) and that briefly describes sex. He does know that daddy's sperm have to mix with mommy's egg. He also knows all the correct names of body parts (something I have insisted on).