Mmm hmm. It's great if there are people out there who are totally immune to reacting to things like metallic hot pants and a bra and no shirt running at a family gym. I'm just not. Maybe I'm immature and my friends are too. We had an "oh man Corey that ones EPIC!!!!" Giggle and our days moved along. No children or puppies were harmed. If that horrifies anyone we have different sensibilities or senses of humor. Keeps the world fun, I figure.
I do consider other ppeople's opinions when dressing. One time this summer I stepped out a little and wore a dress that was a little shorter than normal that had a built in bra and I wore big heels. I was out on a date with my husband. I got more "looks" than I was comfortable with and I haven't worn it again. If you don't give a lick about all that great for you! I totally do.
This reminds me of a day many MANY (many!) years ago when people were wearing leggings with long shirts. . .but we were probably at the tail end of that. I wore leggings with a long button-down shirt to work, I was working at VH1 at the time, and my boss, who was also a friend (and a gay man) was talking to me and I confided that I felt uncomfortable and wondered if I looked like I'd forgotten to wear my pants that day.
He started having people around the office call my desk and ask me if I'd forgotten my pants.
I thought it was hilarious.
I punished him by making him come to the Gap with me while I bought a pair of jeans.
DH's cousin once took a picture of DD when she was a baby asleep on a big sofa-type swing while camping. She scattered empty beer cans around her then took the pic and posted it on her fb page - all of it without our knowledge. Wanna see bat-$hit psycho crazy ????? Yeah, that was me.
Sorry for the aside.
I also do think it is very unkind to make fun of someone for how they are dressed. Is it the same as murder? Of course not, but it is not something that I would be proud of.
We talk about what people eat too. I noticed how often my family did it on the cruise. Humans probably did that forever- it's how they found the best hunting spots or knew to eat (or not eat!) certain berries or whatnot. I've never taken photos of other people's food, but I've noticed it for sure. Again- I think that humans have done it and will do it from the beginning of time till the end of time- and I don't think acknowledging about it is bragging about. I do thi k that pretending one never notices such things or is aware of such things is being less than honest.
no one said Internet bullying doesn't happen Bonita. And no one compared it to murder. No idea what you means.
Last edited by Potter75; 08-20-2013 at 05:25 PM.
It is one thing to notice to yourself that someone is doing something you would not necessarily do yourself. It is another thing to take a picture and send it to all your friends or put it on FB. IRL, I would not spend time with someone who thought that was OK to do.
Ah, I apologize, I misunderstood. I agree, as do all, that posting that stuff to FB is a form of social bullying. I didn't realize you were talking about the OP.
I thought that you were saying that talking about that stuff with your friends or family (like Laurie or Kim or I were talking about) was. That is where I would disagree.
I continue to maintain that calling someone who is absolutely inviting attention a "victim" when they receive said attention is incorrect terminology. And I also maintain that "blaming the victim" in such context is a term contextually most associated with rape. Wiki will concur. And everybody knows that wiki knows everything. Now, someone who is inviting attention who then receives RAPE would yes, be blaming the victim. That is not related to this debate, of course. I also think that having that conversation over a text message instead of the table in the cafe, simply because that day we happened to not all be sitting there, doesn't make one conversation okay and one not. The injection of the cell phone doesn't make one innately evil and one not, IMO.
Even though I wouldn't post such a thing on Facebook, it's not actually bullying if the person is a total stranger, not connected to anyone you know, and never sees it or hears about it.
I still think doing such a thing is really sh**ty, but it's only bullying if the person actually knows about it.
Anyway I didn't say it was an okay thing to do, but I was clarifying that for it to be bullying, the person has to actually know about it.