We have some neighbor kids that have been coming to our house for years, almost daily. They are good friends with my kids and have become like family to me. We know the parents but aren't good friends with them. They parent differently and don't always put the kids first.
We convinced parents to let the boys join cub scouts with our boys this year. They really wanted to and DH is scout master so he pulled strings to get them a lot of discounts. I guess this is where I mention that they are pretty poor and the kids go without a lot and I have always just filled in with what I can.
A year goes by and I continue to make ways for the boys to get to do the extra stuff with scouts. Giving them rides, reminding parents over and over of events, and so on. The boys love it. DH managed to get them free scholarships to scout camp. Everything is set and kids are excited. About 2 weeks before camp kids say they can't go. DH talks to the dad and dad says they are going. I know this is long...
Day to leave comes and they are a no show. I go by house and am told they can't go and parents aren't home. I find out later from mom that dad was actually at home but was being lazy and didn't get their stuff together.
Dh is pissed. The scholarships could have gone to some other kids and he point blank asked in time to get a refund. He has decided, and according to him, all the other leaders agree, that these kids will not get any help or discounts next year.
My take is that this is punishing the kids for the way their parents are. This is no surprise that the parents flaked out but the kids shouldn't get punished for this. There is no way the family will be able (willing?) for the kids to continue next year without the discounts.
Dh says I am blinded because I care so much for them.
So the debate is: should children be punished for their parents mistakes? or who's side are you on?