Would YOU admit to loving one child more than the other??
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Thread: Would YOU admit to loving one child more than the other??

  1. #1
    Community Host Minx_Kristi's Avatar
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    Default Would YOU admit to loving one child more than the other??

    Me - Kristi, 29
    DD - Leia, July 5 2008

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    Posting Addict culturedmom's Avatar
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    I love how he says that the 5% of parents who don't say they have a favorite, are lying,,,,excpet for his wife and himself. I think he is a toole who found a contraversial topic to add to his book so people would read it and he could make money.

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    Community Host Minx_Kristi's Avatar
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    LOL, yes that got me too!

    I wouldn't say all parents have a favourite but I can imagine some do. Saying it is another thing.

    I know for a fact that my Mum prefers my brother to my sister and I. She has never told us, but her actions prove it. My sister was a terror growing up and I think my Mum holds it against her even now. I on the other hand wasn't, but I have had sh*t relationships which could be something she despairs of. It's funny though, if me and DBF argue and I go to my Mum for comfort, he's this that and the other. Yet if my bro comes to her re an argument him and my SIL have had, she is reluctant to tell me anything and just blows it off saying all couples argue when tired or whatever lol.

    When I told her I was pregnant, I got the 'I'm not happy about it speech...' When bro and SIL found out they were pregnant, they got the 'Oooh how exciting! I can't wait to see who the baby looks like!!'

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    Me - Kristi, 29
    DD - Leia, July 5 2008

    I luurrrrrve to lurk!

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    I don't think that having a favorite is the same as loving one more. I love mine all the same but there are times when one is just in a hard phase and another isn't .....and it is natural and normal to have a little soft spot for one at times. The art of trying to be a good parent is not letting the kids know that, of course.

    What your mom does sounds mean.

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    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
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    I agree with Melis. Having favorites is not loving one child more than another.

    And I actually do agree with the idea in the article that most parents have favorites, and i don't really think its all that controversial. Now the title of the article makes it controversial...due to the insinuation that favorite = more love. And thats just silly.

    I think its important to be cautious and not deliberately show favoritism. But just like the article says...most people can tell who the favorites were in the family. I certainly know who they were in my family growing up. And my husband too....

    but we were all well loved and pretty equally treated, knowing who the favorite was came out in little ways, never anything severe or blatant.
    Emma 08/31/01
    Aodhan 07/24/03
    Lillian 03/04/05
    Nathalie 07/01/07
    Cecilia Marie 1/10/10


    Photo By Anne Schmidt Photography

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    Community Host wlillie's Avatar
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    I totally agree with Kim. My parents were pretty good about trying to hide it, but my grandfather was terrible about it. If we ever have another one, I'll probably have a favorite but know I'll never love one more than the other.

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    I have to disagree. I am sitting here thinking as I read the article. Do I have a favorite? I have three precious and beautiful little girls. There is no way I could chose one over the other. They are all my favorite.

    ~Bonita~

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    Posting Addict culturedmom's Avatar
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    Sorry y'all I'm just not down with the favorite thing. Favorite to me means preferrence. I don't prefer one over the other at all. There may be times that I prefer one's behavior at that moment, or maybe I prefer doing certian things with one child and other things with another (for example, I prefer shopping for my son because he could care less about what he wears and it is much easier howvere I prefer feeding my DD at dinner time because she is less picky). Just like I am sure they prefer playing football with Dad because he is better then I am and they prefer doing crafts with me because I am better at that.

    But to me that is way different then speaking in the general sense of having a favorite child. I just don't think that's something I think is OK. Does it happen? I guess. But I don't think what you all are talking about is really "favoritism of a child" but more favoring specific things about one child over another. But it all evens out....or atleast it should.

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    Posting Addict KimPossible's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by culturedmom View Post
    Sorry y'all I'm just not down with the favorite thing. Favorite to me means preferrence. I don't prefer one over the other at all. There may be times that I prefer one's behavior at that moment, or maybe I prefer doing certian things with one child and other things with another (for example, I prefer shopping for my son because he could care less about what he wears and it is much easier howvere I prefer feeding my DD at dinner time because she is less picky). Just like I am sure they prefer playing football with Dad because he is better then I am and they prefer doing crafts with me because I am better at that.

    But to me that is way different then speaking in the general sense of having a favorite child. I just don't think that's something I think is OK. Does it happen? I guess. But I don't think what you all are talking about is really "favoritism of a child" but more favoring specific things about one child over another. But it all evens out....or atleast it should.
    I don't know.....i guess i'm willing to admit that i click more with some of my kids than others. Actually, i really think that makes sense...because as a person, with certain personality traits, certain personal preferences and behaviors i click with some people *in general* more than i do others.

    My children are my children, which means i naturally love them, no matter what they are like.....but i *will* click with certain personalities better than others, because i'm human. And seeing that they are not all identical in personality.....well, there is a logical flow here.

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    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    I agree with Lana. Having said that, I do think that some families play favorites, and it's pretty clear to everyone even if it's not said out loud. My mom totally favored (and still does) my brother. For example, now, as adults, if we all have plans to do something together, but then my brother changes his mind and says he can't make it, my mom will always change the plans to a day that he can make it, even if it means that now I can't do it. Stuff like that.
    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

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