Would YOU take on your best friend's children, if she died?

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Minx_Kristi's picture
Joined: 01/02/09
Posts: 1261
Would YOU take on your best friend's children, if she died?
MissyJ's picture
Joined: 01/31/02
Posts: 3214

Yes, I would. I believe that the only criticism I would have of this woman's decision (and what I would do differently) would be to do what it takes to get us all in the same home. It feels as if something is missing from the story on why she couldn't sell one (or both) houses and move everyone together.

To me if you are close enough to one another that you would consider entrusting your child(ren) to another person then you would think of them like family. My husband and I would not hesitate to figure it out. Our kids would welcome them like another sibling (which would mean that while they would not *always* get along -- they would love and be there for them.)

GloriaInTX's picture
Joined: 07/29/08
Posts: 4116

"MissyJ" wrote:

Yes, I would. I believe that the only criticism I would have of this woman's decision (and what I would do differently) would be to do what it takes to get us all in the same home. It feels as if something is missing from the story on why she couldn't sell one (or both) houses and move everyone together.

With older school aged kids I can see the problem with moving in together. The kids probably went to different schools and had their own friends that they did not want to give up. Having gone through a move with an 8th grade son I can tell you it is very difficult for them to give all that up at that age and especially when they get in high school, and she would have been either asking 2 boys who had just lost both their parents to give up their friends and school too, or asking her own high school age children to do it.

If this happened to someone I knew I would certainly take them in if I had the ability to do so.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

I would take in friends children (We are also thinking of adopting), however I would say we all had to live together.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4100

Absolutely. Whichever home was larger, we'd all live in that one together. Here the kids don't change schools even if you move so that wouldn't be a problem. We'd figure out how to get everyone to their respective schools some way.

KimPossible's picture
Joined: 05/24/06
Posts: 3312

I probably would not offer it, unless i was extremely certain thats what they wanted and were just afraid to ask. If they asked? Yes I would do it.

Given our family situation and the financial strain taking more children in would be, i would only do it if I was 100% absolutely sure that it was the best solution for these hypothetical kids.

Simply put, its not a decision I would make lightly, but if i felt it was the right thing to do, i would do it.

Joined: 03/08/03
Posts: 3187

"KimPossible" wrote:

Simply put, its not a decision I would make lightly, but if i felt it was the right thing to do, i would do it.

Stop making me agree with you about everything, already.

But yes.

My older brother & I have already talked about that for each other's kid, but if I had a close friend like that who needed it, yes, I'd find a way to do it. In one home.

mom3girls's picture
Joined: 01/09/07
Posts: 1535

This may sound really bad, but it totally depends on the friend. We have some very good friends that asked us if we would take their child (he is an only, and it looks like he will stay that way) and it was a really hard decision. They parents sooooo different then we do, completely opposite. And being an only, he can get overwhelmed here with all my kids. I just think it would be to hard on him, to loose his parents and then be put somewhere that is so different for him. We ended up saying no.
We did say yes to my BFF and her husband when they asked. Our parenting is similar, we have very similar value systems, and her kids love the craziness that can sometimes happen here.

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4100

Lisa, that doesn't sound bad to me at all. I wouldn't take my sister's kids or SIL's kids; there's no way I'm moving to where they live, and the culture shock of them coming here, to the way we live, would just be too much. They have close friends where they live who would take their kids, and that's fine with me. The 2 or 3 friends for whom I'd take their kids, they parent very similar to us, have similar lifestyles, do similar things on weekends, and I guess that's why we all ended up here away from our birth families, LOL!

And actually, now that Kim brought up finances, I wonder if finances might be why the boys in the OP article still live in their old house? Maybe the dad, knowing he had cancer, arranged for a reverse mortgage both to generate a bit of income as well as provide the boys a place to live? Or maybe they get help with their rent from being wards of the state? Of course that doesn't explain why the mom can't move in with her kids, but it's something to consider. None of us own a home, and even if we moved into one of their larger apartments, with just four kids all together, it wouldn't be a bad squeeze. Now, if both of them died and I ended up with six kids, we might have to put someone in a closet or something...

Joined: 08/17/04
Posts: 2226

We are backups to take bil's kids. I wouldn't necessarily agree to take any kid though.

I think it's a great that she did this.