Holy tantrums!!!

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hopefulinco's picture
Joined: 01/06/08
Posts: 44
Holy tantrums!!!

OK, ladies, how are your two-year-olds (and you) handling tantrums?

Emme can go into full blown screaming, crying, meltdown mode in seconds and stay there for 15 minutes or longer. Last night she wouldn't come in the house (we gave her the choice of walking or being carried) for dinner. She had been playing and we had prepped her several times that it was coming, so...I picked her up and carried her inside.

As we walked, she melted. It seemed like forever. She ended up in her room; she slammed the door shut and would open/slam it. We left her to her fit and would check (though who needed to check, the neighbors five acres away could have heard her) every few minutes. She even scratched her foot on the door, paused in the tantrum to have "mommy kiss it and make it feel better" THEN went back to the tantrum. Once she finally snapped out of it, she wanted love, then hopped down and happily joined us at the table. OMG. I was tired and my husband looked like his head was going to pop off.

I have requested Happiest Toddler on the Block from the library because we have to try something. How are you?

trinkbeck's picture
Joined: 07/17/08
Posts: 22

Ava is the queen of tantrums. She had one this morning because Daddy went to get her out of bed, not Mommy. She SCREAMED bloody murder. Almost like some stranger had come to take her away or something. We just ignore her. When it gets too bad (after she starts throwing things), I take her to her room and deposit her into her crib until she can calm herself down.

Joined: 11/23/07
Posts: 870

The book might be just what you need to diffuse some tantrums. not all of course.... i still have a tantrum every now and then.

the only thing i might have done differently (other than get really good at ignoring it because Ellie is the evil queen overlord of tantrums) is hold the door shut if she was slamming it because we live in apartment building and i wouldnt like her to annoy the neighbors TOO much. And when she goes on a big bender we can put her in the crib or playpen for containment.

For the most part Ellie's tantrums come from one of two sources- tired/hungry or frustration. this morning she had a mini-meltdown because she couldnt hold her blanket wrapped around her shoulders and carry her fan around with one hand. nothing i could do to fix it... so i let her have a fit. also happens when she can't get her own clothes on or off.

the third source is when i tell her no or make her do something (like come in) but those i usually treat with a straight to her room and telling her gently that we are done with x activity and then i try to distract her.

we actually have a magic word in this house- if she wants hugs she has to calm down- so i ask "are you done?" and when she hears "done" she sucks in a big breath, wipes her eyes and nods "done" then will come get hugs. i didnt start that, it just worked one day.... kids choose their own discipline sometimes.

m3773a's picture
Joined: 03/15/08
Posts: 170

We got pretty lucky with Emily so far, no real tantrumes here, yes she does get upset and crying and whining but she won't throw herself on the floor or slam doors. Maybe because she is pretty good with communicating, when she starts crying I ask her what she wants and most of the time she tells me and we try to solve the problem, and no she doesnt get what she wants all the time, most things she cries for are simple things like she wants her sandals on after her nap and not the slippers or she wants me to carry her to the family room. I was told once to pick my battles and when it is something simple then I just do it for her because I don't want to listen to her whining. If she wants something that we can't do right away like go to the park or a playdate I explain it to her and give her something else to do that is fun so she forgets about the original problem.
Sometimes she gets whiny for no reason, just to get me upset I tell her she can stop or she will go in time out, I think I had to put her in time out 3 times so far, when she hears time out she just stops the whining.
Her moods never escalade to tantrums. I'm pretty firm with her, when she has to do something or in certain way, like eat sitting down, she knows she will get in trouble if I raise my voice and she doesn't do it, yes she will test me and see how many times I have to tell her to do something. I would never spank her but I do raise my voice.

I hope the terrible twos will be over for you soon.

jonibug's picture
Joined: 11/27/06
Posts: 781

We don't deal much with tantrums. When Stella goes in time out she cries half the time but it is a fake cry and she calms down quickly.

But from previous experience with toddlers, the only two things I can suggest are to decide what you want to fight, and to be consistent.

yipeeladybug's picture
Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1214

I agree with Erika, and do a lot of the same. I'm fairly lucky with Evie, like Emily, no real tantrums here too. Evie doesn't even know what a time out is, we've never gotten to that point. I agree, her early communication skills really seem to help lessen her frustrations, also distractions as a first step seem to head off a lot of tantrums too.

I also pick my battles with her, some things are just not negotiable; but when we do negotiate, I only give Evie 2 or maybe 3 choices MAX about what she wants to do (and what she wants isn't always a choice). She not always happy, esp when what she wants isn't a choice, but seems ok with choosing something and sticking with that.

I have never had to spank her, but have raised my voice, used "the tone", also "the look". Not always together, b/c that's pretty scary at that point.

m3773a's picture
Joined: 03/15/08
Posts: 170

Sophia, that's funny, Emy knows the "look" and the "voice" very well too.

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