oh my...

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lioness4's picture
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oh my...

I am in big trouble....My DD has a strong willed side...if you tell her "no" or make her do something she doesnt want to do or stop her from being bad she will scream throw her self down and bang her head crying!!!! She does this at the play ground at the doctors if I dont pick her up!!! Of course my mom said leave her there and ignore her blah blah...I tried and I get people picking her up...you dont realize but she is this tiny beautiful doll like toddler who no one can resist...I even have moms/dads at the playground trying to pick her up...how do you discipline when everyone can't stand to see her fuss? Its like shes a kid they will cry???!!!!
For instance shes been waking up at night and refusing to go back to sleep unless I am in the room patting her butt...the second I try to leave SHE SCREAMS and cries...if I try to let her fuss some my hubby hops up *****ing that I am letting her cry!!!! I mean maybe a few seconds...once I go ins he has me in there at 2 am for hours with my arm falling asleep half asleep myself!!!! She is seeming to be a right spoiled brat in the making...urgh!!!

capricornchrissy's picture
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LOL, like we didn't see that coming, being the only girl with those brothers! How could she not be spoiled! I think it is the age, though. They do not want to be told no! It should get better in, say, 16 years? Dirol

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"capricornchrissy" wrote:

LOL, like we didn't see that coming, being the only girl with those brothers! U]It should get better in, say, 16 years? Dirol

LOL! Christine sooo true.

Sorry, little miss Julia has discovered her cuteness is irresitable. We have our moments with Tannah, but luckily DH is not always such a pushover. Just let others now what u are doing and stick to it the less attention she gets over it the less likely she is to continue doing it.

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my husband is more immune. I am the sucker. I hate to see a child cry although if they find out they will play you! Matt will stick to my leg and dh just unwedges himself and gets whatever he needs done. Now that Matt is walking he is more easily amused so it is less but we had to bring him to Stars on Ice Sat night. He hates our sitter and will cry and stick to my oldest. There is nothing wrong with her, he just wants Mom 24/7.Any adult that comes to the house he is suspicious of.We joke he was abducted in a former life. I agree if you don't make a big deal of it she will stop but it is embarrassing in public at times. If you cave they will just keep it up until you crack the next time.Good luck! I swear my daughter is harder to parent than my sons but sadly I think it is bc she is so much like me we butt heads

lioness4's picture
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"capricornchrissy" wrote:

LOL, like we didn't see that coming, being the only girl with those brothers! How could she not be spoiled! I think it is the age, though. They do not want to be told no! It should get better in, say, 16 years? Dirol

LMAO:ROFL:

well I know I certianly dont treat her any different then I did her brothers at this age...they had thier fit moments but she is WORST:rolleyes::p
I usually try not to give in even when she intentionally thumps herself back wards from a sitting spot to laying spot and thumps her head if she is upset for no reason!!!!:mad:
Little girls are proving HARD for me...lol....give me a boy anyday(but I still love her to peices!):ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::bigarmhug:

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I feel for you Hun. We have similar issues, but more about aggressive behavior. I don't know if it will work for Julia but we have a 3 limit rule that works probably 90% of the time. If they're misbehaving on the floor or throwing a fit they get three chances/distractions to correct their behavior. If they don't I pick them up and continue with what I was doing so I'm not giving attention for bad behavior but they learn at this age being down is a privilege that can be revoked. If I'm holding them and they start hitting/biting - again three times, but I will put them down and walk away. Sometimes this leads to being followed by a screaming kid and I'll try to pick them up again and talk quietly if it continues they go to a safe inescapable place and I go out of sight for a minute (usually behind a wall but in the same room or to the back of the stroller if I'm out and about) and then try again. It can be repetitive but I've had to establish boundaries about hitting/screaming at mommy with both of them and it's the only thing that works for us. They still know I'm there and willing to listen but there is a limit to how you treat people.

Sleep been there still do it sometimes. We've done a bit of a combo of two things. When he's like how you're describing Julia I stay there and float my hand above his bum, if he starts to cry I put it down and start 'rocking' and patting his bum until a couple of minutes after he settles and stay there until I feel him relax. If he shifts when I take my hand off I know he's likely to get back up so I'll go back to floating. I find that's what happens when he gets separation anxiety. Once he knows I'm going to be there and respond to his needs he'll ease up in a night or two.
The second thing is to help him learn to do it on his own and for that (only with the trust established - jumping to this only backfires is it's separation anxiety) I cuddle him for a few minutes then give him a kiss and 'I love you, goodnight' then lay him (for us tummy down) in bed. I stay there and as long as he's calm I'll let him sit up and babble and kick whatevs, but if he starts to cry I lay him back down and rock his bum a handful of times then let go. If he gets truly upset I pick him up and cuddle again, and repeat. It took me not giving in to bringing him in our bed at 2-3am and keeping with this method for it to truly work but nighttime has gotten so nice now.

CIO is supposedly faster but I just can't. My kids have anxiety issues and start seriously acting out if they feel they can't trust me and that in itself is too much for me. We tried twice on the recommendation of their ped with Patrick. It was just hysteria and for months he would wake every 15-20 minutes to make sure I was still there. We tried a couple times with Daniel - he threw up every time in less than 2 minutes. It's not for us but I know for some with the right kind of temperament on both kid and parent side it can work, just not here.

That was long and ramble but I hope maybe a little of it will help. :bighug: I hate sleep issues!

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good advice.
I have no issues putting her down...its keeping her asleep for the whole night that is...it sucks...I do something similar to what you mentioned with the sleep thing...If she cries I go in and cover her up,put my hand on her back and aviod eye contact too much stimuli and wait till she keeps her eyes closed....I walk ot quietly but usually she will notice I am gone and freak agian....sometimes multiple times.....I have sat in her room for 1 hr before...left just got comfy and wahhhhhh.....
Last night we did that and I just sat on her floor next to her crib and stared at the wall...she fell asleep but woke up to whine once and wa sout....I didnt mention I had her in my bed becuase she had a true night terror...

As far as dicipline I usually give three chances for my older guys then time out...with her its redirection and if she fit throws walking away...
Its funny the things they dont tell you before you have kiddos huh?
Thanks to everyone who took the time to answer!:yahoo:

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if it makes you feel better Matt got up last night, the little bugger! I am blaming teeth and a growth spurt and praying it doesn't happen again!

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Erykah is the SAME way! She is super spoiled! Not at night anymore though or nap time. I was getting NO sleep! She was getting up several times a night. I had to just let her CIO. Thankfully DS sleeps soundly and DH was with it all the way. Sometimes you just gotta let them be and tell everyone else around you the situation. If someone else tried to pick my kid up at the playground I would freak out!

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You and DH should be on the same page w/ discipline b/c if not, she will learn who the pushover is. My DH can easily let the kids CIO while I'm the one questioning it. But you and DH should agree on something that you are going to do w/ her at night whether it be CIO, pat her butt and stay in the room until she goes to sleep, or what.

As for the fits, if you are in a public place, could you remove her from wherever you are and take her out of the way so she can throw her fit there? That way you don't have other people trying to butt in. Sometimes that may not be an option though. But yes, it's the age/girl thing. Noel sometimes does it too.

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"tori729" wrote:

You and DH should be on the same page w/ discipline b/c if not, she will learn who the pushover is. My DH can easily let the kids CIO while I'm the one questioning it. But you and DH should agree on something that you are going to do w/ her at night whether it be CIO, pat her butt and stay in the room until she goes to sleep, or what.

As for the fits, if you are in a public place, could you remove her from wherever you are and take her out of the way so she can throw her fit there? That way you don't have other people trying to butt in. Sometimes that may not be an option though. But yes, it's the age/girl thing. Noel sometimes does it too.

I know this....
I usually just go in to her room and pat her butt...shes been good the last 2 days....hope she keeps it up..:yahoo: