Care Provider Frustration

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Joined: 04/27/09
Posts: 251
Care Provider Frustration

Ugh, I am so annoyed/frustrated. I am at 9 weeks and not only have I not yet seen a care provider, I don't have an appointment for another 3 weeks.

It's partly my fault. When I got my BFP, I made an appt with my OB. The soonest they could get me in was June 13 (about 4 weeks). Fine. Then after a bit of research, I decided to go with a midwife instead of an OB. The first appt she could give me was June 20. Fine. So I cancelled my OB appt in anticipation of meeting with the m/w.

Between scheduling the appt with her and actually meeting with her, I started having doubts that things were going to work out with her. She operates on her own, no back up or support staff. Whenever I called her, I only ever got a voicemail to her office, and she'd return my call in a day or two. When I went to the ER last week with cramping/spotting, I called her to ask what I should do - of course I got her voicemail and had to leave a message. She didn't get back to me for 3 days. Final straw was when I showed up for our scheduled appt on June 20 and she wasn't there....no phone call to cancel or anything....she called later on to say she had just gotten back from a birth and needed to go to bed. So I politely told her that there was no need to reschedule, I would find a different care provider.

There is only one other midwife group in the town where I live, so I called them on Monday. They are a much more organized operation - 5 midwives and two support staff in the office. Fantastic. So they just called to let me know that my first appointment is July 12!!!!!! I will be at 12 weeks by then!!!! Apparently the midwife that I've been assigned is off until July 9. Seriously??? I asked if I needed to do a scan US (usually done around 11-13 weeks) and she said that if I wanted one, I could go to my family doctor and order one. If you're just going to send me to my doctor for care, then why the frig am I bothering with a midwife????!!! So now I need to take time off from my busy, demanding job to 1) go see my family doctor, 2) a second appt to go get an u/s to make sure that my kid is ok, then 3) a third appt to meet with the midwife.

So ANNOYING.

kridda_88's picture
Joined: 01/28/08
Posts: 1798

Most midwives don't do U/S other than the 20 week one and that's just if the parents want one. They don't require any at all so if you want more than that one they send you to a doctor. I don't see my midwife till I am 11 weeks and I'm not too worried about it. As long as everything is looking good with no more bleeding or major cramping I wouldn't worry too much. If you want someone that's going to be more proactive and do the tests I would go back with an OB because midwives are usually a lot more chill and laid back about things. They don't do any tests or U/S unless they feel something is wrong or it's truly needed.

always_1111's picture
Joined: 08/09/09
Posts: 442

That is ridiculously annoying. Wow. I hope this stops being such a cluster for you.

Joined: 04/27/09
Posts: 251

I just realized that I accidentally posted this on the Feb board - sorry Feb mammas for invading your board with my long winded rant!!!!

Krista, you are probably right....midwives are probably just more relaxed in their philosophies...I'm sure there's no need for me to panic. I did have an u/s when I went to the ER last week and everything looked OK, so I'm probably getting all worked up for no reason.

I went through similar caregiver frustration when I was pg with DD...first OB was a jack@$$, they messed up 1st u/s....then I had to wait a few more weeks to get an appt with a new doc. It all worked out fine in the end.

xMyLovelyLadyBumpx's picture
Joined: 02/17/11
Posts: 1198

Lol We dont mind. We are women, we feed off drama!

That does sound annoying, and even though midwives are more laid back that doesnt mean they should ingore concerns ect. If you had cramping and spotting you have a right to be on edge, this is a sensitive time for mommys. The first trimester is always a big what if.

kridda_88's picture
Joined: 01/28/08
Posts: 1798

Sorry if I sounded slightly insensitive in my last post. I really didn't mean to. I was just trying to explain the differences between midwives practice and OB's. Most midwives are very cautious and will listen but if they feel there is no need for concern they wont worry. I know for me when my provider says or does something that is showing me they are worried, I worry even if there is no need for it. I think that's why midwives act the way they do. They worry when there really is a need for it but they don't worry over every little thing that an OB does. Worry in mom is natural and normal but too much is bad for mom and baby. I would follow your heart and do what feels right to you. If another U/S is what you need I would go to your family doctor and get one to make sure everything is going good. OB's and midwives work off of two very different worry charts. lol. My midwife is actually very cautious, she told me that if I ever feel like I need to go to the doctor for something to do it, just because I go to the doctor doesn't mean she'll drop me as a client. She is very level headed and I love that about her! She knows mom knows best and actually listens. She's the "typical" midwife with all her natural mother nature stuff. She believes in natural treatment and mother's body BUT she also recognizes there's a time and place for dr's and hospitals. I hope you can figure something perfect out for you! I would at least give the midwives a try and see how you feel about them. If you don't care for them at first they may not be right for you. Good luck!! It's a stressful journey! I know, I have doubts myself about my choices but when I really think about them I know it's right for me.

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joined: 06/14/11
Posts: 173

I just want to offer hugs :bigarmhug:

I know your journey and running in circles has to be frustrating, and I am sorry you are going 'round and 'round Sad I truly hope for your sanity that you find the right fit with your provider immediately and that you are at peace with your choice in your provider.