So DH and I have been having marital issues, many stem from before the pregnancy and were just buried in the excitement of having a baby when we thought we wouldnt be able to.
He left me when I was pregnant with Kaylee for 2 other woman, then thought about leaving for his best friend Amanda after we had got back together. He continued to lie and hide the fact they were friends after I told him I didnt approve especially since he was going to leave me for her and that she has said hurtful things to him about himself, me, and our children (really who in the h-e-double hockey sticks insults a baby?!) Every time I would catch him and he would say never again and still do it. Finally when I was a few months pregnant with Ro (3months into our marriage) I caught him once again and told him if he did it again I would leave and file for divorce. I mean I am and was so sick and tired of being 2nd place to this witch!
He has since found a new best friend also a girl who WAS this other girls BFF. Ugh! Ive caught them talking about sex not like "I want you" type things but still with your buds/dudes whatever fine I mean I talk to my female friends about it but I draw the line at talking about this stuff with another woman regardless your relationship with her. He thinks Im being silly and overracting because its "his friend and its JUST talking and texting" -eye roll-
Im still working on trusting him again and its hard because his promises mean crap since he never keeps them, and still lies about everything from smoking to who he is with or talking to.
The first 2 weeks after Rowan was born were great(shockingly so). He was helping me take care of the housework and the kids, never complained (another shocker). Now he complains about EVERYTHING, from spending time with us to me asking him to take the trash out on his way out the door. He is always yelling and getting short tempered with Kaylee, even after 30 seconds on entering the door or waking up. He wont help with chores or the kids unless forced, and when I say forced I mean like me flat out refusing to help.
Ive suggested marital counseling and at first he agree'd then turned around and said he didnt trust doctors and didnt need help in managing his relationship so I dropped it for a while. When I asked again he said ok then did the same thing and said he didnt want people in our relationship who werent in it.
We also had a HUGE fight about disapline for the kids. He is a hardcore believer in spanking for all offences no matter how small. I am anti-spanking. He said while watching a show where this boy talked back to his mother that if our kids did that he would hit them in the face. I was so appauled and taken back by this that I almost left then and there. We talked about it twice since then and he stands by what he said because his dad did it to him and his brother and they are just fine...(Yea ok mr hot head)
Example of his dads disapline: he took a metal broom full force swing to DH's and his little brothers HEADS because they were arguing over a game. His dad brags and laughs about this.
Im just at a loss, he isnt the same person I met 4 years ago... ): Im just confused, I dont know how to handle this or fix it. I thought maybe I was over reacting and I could just forget it all, but I cant.
Im suggesting Marriage Counseling again tonight, Ive even already found someone we could talk to. Beyond that...heck if I know.
I dont know what I expect from you ladies, I just needed to vent and let it all out.
Last night I went out with a friend for the first time since Ro was born for more than just a 15min trip to the store. We went to get dessert and get a few things for when I finally have my own space lol. I got both kids ready for bed; fed them, cuddled them, read stories, changed their bums, yadda yadda. I bf'd Rowan, stuffed him to the brim the pumped for just in case. Let him and his cousin go to the store and get some games from redbox. So we leave and of course like a nervous momma Im checking in with him. After being out for about 2hrs I check my fb real quick and see his status saying he is getting drunk...with my precious babies in his care. We left the store and sped home..Both kids still asleep thank goodness but he is wasted and so is his cousin. I was furious, my friend grabbed Rowan from his baby swing and realized he leaked, I checked on Kaylee, we went in my room, turned the baby monitor on in Kays room and just about knocked him out when I saw him in the hallway. I bf'd Rowan and my friend decided to stay the night so that I wouldnt be alone. DHs dad came home wasted from the bar and they were up until 5ish yelling instead of talking waking the babies...
Im soooooo mad. I wanted nothing more than to deck them all in the face last night. I was so mad I nearly called the police on my Husband for child endangerment. I cried out of frustraion and all the what ifs ran through my head. I cant believe he would do something like that.
I left him alone last night and laid into him this morning. He rolled his eyes said I was over reacting and left for work. I later text him telling him I was furious and this wasnt over. He text back trying to make me feel sorry for him. I dont even want marriage counseling anymore, I just want to leave him. I cant believe he would endanger our children like that. Im NEVER leaving them with him again, he is no longer a suitable parent in my eyes.