Well a little back story before we get to the current story haha
In December 2007 my mom passed suddenly; she was mentally ill after taking Chantix and did the unthinkable. I found her 2 hours after the fact and the images and thoughts haunt me to this day. She left notes for each of us kiddos, my daddy [step father might as well be my birth father] which we have yet to read because none of us are ready.
Since then the craziest things have happend for example:
-My brother from my bio-father had a dream the following night about her, he saw her in our basement which is weird because he hadnt ever been down there before. In the dream we [my whole family] were all sitting in the basement and she told us all not to cry because she was happy she was no longer in pain.
-My moms best friend's daughter who was 2 at the time said "Mommy is Aunt Amanda an angel" my moms friend says yes why? her daughter said "She follows us in the sky and kisses us before bed. I see her."
-I was in the living room one night on the phone with my friend, the speakers started going insane with static, I unplugged them and it still didnt stop in the static me and my friend could both hear a voice saying 'I love you forever.'
-My radio will turn on to her favorite songs randomly even after Ive turned it off.
-My sister and dad woke up to a bunch of angels my sister got my mom for xmas surrounding the master bed, which they were sharing since my sister refused to sleep alone for a long time.
-The list goes on and on. These things still happen to this day. Some we dont notice until later some are shocking how clearly it happens.
Kaylee is named after my momma, she knows who she is in pictures. Kaylee is constantly 'talking' to my mom during nap and bedtime. She & our dogs would stare at the same spot in the room for long periods of time. She would and will giggle or smile at someone who isnt there ect.
So now onto my reason for all the back story:
-Rowans due date based off my LMP is my moms birthday Jan 21st.
-I have an appointment December 28th [the day she died]@ 10am. The last time I talked to my mom and told her I loved her as we both headed off to work.
-I finally sold my mothers sewing machine that Ive used once but couldnt ever again because it was too hard. I sold it to a woman named Amanda, she has 2 boys and 2 girls just like my mom.
-My moms wedding ring is my wedding ring. I thought I lost the band that the engagment ring sits in while cleaning them since they dont fit right now; nope I found it in a box of Christmas decorations, my moms favorite holiday. I never even touched that box until yesterday since it was all my old tree decor from when I was little. But there it was sitting on top.
Everyone thinks Rowan will be born on a day that is special to my mom since Kaylee was born on a special day for her as well. (: So many signs its so crazy. I truly think these little happenings are her way of staying close to those she left so suddenly. It makes me sad and mad sometimes but usually I cant help but feel so loved!