OT, but I need to vent to someone...

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OT, but I need to vent to someone...

Ok I don't have a lot of ppl I can vent to about this touchy subject, but things have just become as bad as they can get in my opinion.

A little history... my bf who I have known for a while, and been with for almost a year was convicted of sexual interference involving a minor. I really feel he didn't do it, and no where in his court conditions does it say he is NOT ALLOWED AROUND KIDS. If any Judge thought he was actually guilty than that would be on the conditions list. Instead he has had probation for a year, and has to see a counsellor.

When we had decided to move in together he had to give a change of address to the new probation officer that he was seeing, and bc I have 2 small children in my home CPS got involved. Which I was fine with they told me I had to supervise him around the girls and than they would go from there...

We decided to move closer to his family and we knew our case would get transferred and probably the same rules would apply.. well I am wrong.

So now if you got this far here is what I am dealing with...

My girls are 11 months old, and 5 years old, I am 22 weeks pregnant and you might as well say I am a single mother. He is not allowed closer than an arm's length away from the girls.. he isn't allowed carrying the baby, holding her, changing her/dressing her, having the girls on his lap, picking them up... If I am changing the baby he needs to be on a different floor in our house and same with if I am bathing the 2 girls. I am sure you get my point by now...

I had just found this out on Friday I had thought I was doing what they had asked, but I had no idea this is what they expected of me. To make matters worse I have a high risk pregnancy and not allowed to do a lot of lifting, carrying, not allowed to do a lot of heavy duty work, etc. So this just adds more stress on me.

My bf is great for the most part when it comes to doing laundry, cooking, cleaning. Those kind of things, and he would gladly help me with the kids too, he is just not allowed to be near them really. I don't know what other way to put it.

I have no idea how to explain to my 5 year old, let alone my 11 month old that he is not allowed to be near them.. not allowed to hug them, or cuddle them, or play with them. My 5 year old thinks it is something that she did. The baby is lost "without" her daddy bc she is a daddy's girl thru and thru. As you can see I am having a hard time dealing with this and so are my girls.

I am due in Feb, which means come Feb the same rules are going to apply so therefore I will basically be a single mom to 3 kids under the age of 5. I am scared, and hoping I can do it. I will do what it takes to keep my family together, but this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with.

Thank You for getting this far. I am so sorry it is so long, but I hate being judge by my so called real friends and needed someone to talk to. Please don't judge me if I thought my girls were at any risk I wouldn't put them thru that. I was single for a long time and I could do it again and would do it again rather than put my girls in danger.

TyrantOfTheWeek's picture
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Never heard of anything like that. Do they have cameras in your house or whatever to monitor him?

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Last seen: 3 years 4 months ago
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No, no cameras, but they are allowed to "drop" by whenever they feel like it. With or without warning. I hope they drop this case soon...

ourfirstblessing's picture
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without getting into too many details and such my sisters bil is a register offender (not with children but i won't get into all that). when they had a child they wrote the probation officer and contacted the courts requesting the he be allowed to see his niece. Is there a way for you to sit down with cps and the probation officer and either request to see a judge...idk if you really believe he is ok to be around your kids (which you obviously do) i would contact his probation officer and find out what you can do for him to be able to help.

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I do believe he didn't do it.. bc I did do my research and bc I took Criminology there is certain info I know that other ppl, well most other ppl don't. I do know that he is not on the Sex Offenders List. I am just waiting for a call back from the Probation officer to see what we can do about CPS and go from there. It's just been a rough few days that's for sure.

Thanks for listening to me vent.

verdouxkai's picture
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How awful to have to deal with. Sad How long are they expecting you guys to live like this?? Just out of pure curiosity, would the same rules apply if you were married??

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Last seen: 3 years 4 months ago
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Till at least Jan, and then they said if they want to renew it they have the rights to. Yes it is a lot to deal with.. I am super sore and still have to go on with my day it can be hard at times, and frustrating. Yes the same rules would apply if we were married unfortunely. As of right now I am still waiting for the Probation Officer to call me back, and hopefully he will be able to tell me some good news.