Well, still looking for a midwife. App was...

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Well, still looking for a midwife. App was...

Hello ladies. I had my first midwife visit yesterday. We did another u/s and saw baby and it's beating heart Yahoo The midwife lacked facts and information. She was opinionated and even jumped up on the deffensive when mentioning vba4c. She said they (and no one in their practice of ethical value, or anywhere else for that matter) would do a vbac unless it's after only 1 prior c-section. She tried to claim my rupture rate was severely high after 4. When I said something that did not agree with her opinion is when she jumped up from her chair and was raising her voice.....in front of my other children mind you.

There's MUCH more, including her slipping up and saying I would have to be ok with a scheduled c-section and I would be forced into one. She then corrected herself by saying "Let me refrase that. No one can be forced, but you have no other options beyond an automatic c-section. You HAVE to be ok with that and agree to it right now or you will have to find another caregiver".

Yadada. She had no facts. Refused to discuss anything. Demanded I be ok with forced c-section. All based on....tada! NOTHING.....except that I've had a c-section due to breech and then made to schedule because of that and the community hospital I delivered at not allowing vbacs.

Yeah, I'm on the look out for a good, caring, knowledgable midwife.

My weight is good. Baby is great! Everything else is wonderful. Now for that wonderful midwife that I KNOW is out there....somewhere Smile

xMyLovelyLadyBumpx's picture
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Ugh thats horrible! What a heartless woman! I would be so mad. I hope you find a loving, understanding midwife soon!

TyrantOfTheWeek's picture
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Hey, at least you learned she isn't the one right off the bat.

Mothering.com has an awesome network of people that can possibly help you find someone.

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Thank you Ashley. You would think she would have been a lot more professional in the least. lol!

Mindie, you are absolutely right, and I am very thankful to know right off the bat that she's not the one I will rely on for sure. I am searching MDC as we speak. I don't see anything recent from OKC or OK period...mostly TX on there that's recent but I will continue to search and I'll post to see what I find out. I think I would prefer to go in with "this is what I'm facing, this is what I want" type thing. Ya know? Straight forward with what I've had and what I seek. Do you think that would help me avoid the "wrong" ones and get the attention of the ones I am seeking? You know, the honest compassionate ones? Wink I don't like playing games at all and I despise being lied to by the offices/caregivers. That's what happened with this midwife and her office. I specifically told the lady (the tech and nurses) on several calls that I had multiple c-sections and I was assured that they were the only ones who do take those patients for vbamc. Of course, I'm sure there are others who do, but that's what they told me. Then to get there and get such a horrid reaction to such a natural situation was unacceptible.

Thanks ladies! I appreciate every one of you :bigarmhug:

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Ok, so I'm a Lurker here, and I'm probably gonna say something not completely great but...

Are you planning a homebirth/birthcenter or hospital birth? I ask because that can make a huge difference. Here in California, no midwife will attend a homebirth with multiple c/s because of risks. They could lose their license and they are ultimately worried about you and baby and their own lives.

Many doctors and hospitals won't consent after more than a 'certain' number but at least being in a hospital you have a chance to be monitored.

Where ever you're planning your birth, you need to see if they will allow VBA4C. Then call around and ask upfront and ask to speak with the midwife/doctor directly.

Living in California, people are very proVBAC but after 4 it's a chance many are not going to take. I had 2 (and have since had a 3rd) and found it very difficult for anyone to agree to trial of labor. Also, the birthing center would not accept women with more than 1 c/s. Not sure the feelings in Oklahoma but I think you'll probably hit a wall for quite a while.

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Aww don't worry Christina, you didn't say anything that's not nice. You are asking legit questions Smile

Thank you for the advice, it is greatly appreciated Smile

The Midwife I saw has many OB/GYNs backing her up at a university hospital. I have not asked any of the Midwives I have contacted to deliver me at home or in a birth center. Her reaction was not caused from me asking for something that she thought was unsafe. Her reaction was only based on me having 4 c-sections. She was told they were not medically needed nor were they because of any danger to my baby or myself. My first one was due to baby turning breech. Doc refused to do anything other than emergency c-section and that was that. The three c-sections that followed were scheduled only because it was not allowed to vbac at the small community hospital my doctor used (the only one delivering babies either way for an hour and a half drive minimum).

I know there will be little found on homebirth or birthcenter Midwives who will deliver after 4 c-sections. That's why all of my options are being left open. I'm only closing off the scheduled c-section Wink

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Phew! Glad you didn't take anything as a negative.

I'm sure you're going to find someone who will support your desires and choices. I know there's someone out there. Hopefully you can find them sooner rather than later. Smile

Broodymama's picture
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Look up an ICAN group in your area dor info. I'm finding I have more options than I thought I did.

Broodymama's picture
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Here's the link I forgot to add.

http://www.ican-online.org./

RonanTheBarbarian's picture
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That's just not cool. Seriously it is great you didn't get stuck with someone like her at the end or something- you can weed her right out of the mix! What's wrong with people??

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Well yay for seeing your LO and knowing that everything there is OK - it's a bummer that the MW seemed too preachy and unwilling to even talk to you about what you wanted. I hope you find a great one soon!

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Let's focus on that beautiful little baby...he/she is what matters, and you got the perfect appt. Now the midwife that you visited with should really get together with the hateful old doctor that talked to one of the other mom's today. They both have their own opinions and not at all sensitive to your wants and needs. I would DEFINITELY be finding someone else that will listen and not be so self centered. Good luck, I know someone is out there for you!