Blargh (scare mentioned)
I hate how much of a spaz I am sometimes. It's not a terrible thing I suppose but I apparently tend to overreact (better safe than sorry right?) This morning, I went to the bathroom and on the toilet paper was some bright red blood. I've been pretty sore (TMI sorry) so I did check to make sure it was coming from internally and not just external irritation. After confirming that it was, I freaked. Last time I saw bright red blood during pregnancy, I was miscarrying.
Now, granted, this time it was maybe the size of a dime and there was nothing after that- NOTHING. There was no evidence at all that there had even been any blood but it still scared me.
So then I realize that baby boy isn't moving and while I'm trying to assume he's sleeping, I'm still poking and prodding at my belly and pleading with him to move.
After awhile, he did start moving for me and I'd wager that he was pretty annoyed that mommy woke him up. So, now that he's moving, I called the on call dr who assured me that with the absence of pain and the tiny amount of blood, it was probably just from sex the night before. :lol:
He's moving around like crazy today and everything is fine but I'm finding that I'm still very nervous even at 23 weeks.
I hear ya, maybe it's because it took a year and a half to get pregnant, maybe it's because i miscarried the cycle before this pregnancy and maybe it's because we had a slight bleeding scare early in this pregnancy but I'm constantly paranoid and check for blood or discoloration every time I go to the bathroom.
I think I'll breathe a big sigh of relief when we hit 26/27 weeks when baby has an 80-90% chance of survival if delivered, (despite not having any reason to be scared of preterm delivery).
Yeah, I think I'll calm down around then too. I just kept thinking "he can't make it this early if something is wrong". At least if something does happen later on and he has to be delivered early there would be a higher chance of him making it so I can relax a little bit.
I wasn't like this with Adam or Logan. I miscarried 3 months before getting pregnant Xander and spent my whole pregnancy a nervous wreck. Now this time, I thought I was fine but yesterday I found myself wondering if this was a pattern- miscarrying every other pregnancy after my second section. I was so scared at that moment and the whole thought ended up actually making me angry because OB's aren't exactly forthcoming about the risks of c-sections especially the risks associated with future pregnancies.
Because he was moving after I talked to the on call dr, I was able to calm down and go to sleep so I thank her for at least giving me some peace of mind. I needed that.
but again, I thought I was find this pregnancy. Now I think I'm going to be freaking out until I'm far enough along that he has a chance of survival. I can't lose another baby..especially this far into the pregnancy. I mean, we MAY actually have a name for him now! We are quite attached to this little guy at this point so losing him would destroy me and possibly DH. Not to mention, the kids...they're all excited for a baby brother.
I also kept thinking about how I have been avoiding caffeine and then within the past couple of days before that happened I had been drinking it again and of course that led to me blaming myself. She's probably right though- it's probably from sex. I mean, I didn't tell her this but we are very active intimately and had just dtd 3 times in 2 days after having a very busy week where we were sadly unable to at all. I'm pretty sure that could cause bleeding in a non pregnant person!