(warning, this is a long post!)
OK, so this baby is going to be making an appearance sometime in the next 4 weeks. We have half of our family in town here, and the other half is a 2-3 hour drive away. We're telling everyone that if they want to be in the waiting room, they're more than welcome to be there (however it will just be DH and I in the delivery room), and I'm wondering......
We have a list of "requests" along with some general info that we'd like to pass along to everyone. I was going to send out a mass email to everyone, but is that rude??
It's super long (and not the finished draft), but here's what I've got:
"OK, now that the time is getting close, I thought it would be easiest to send this out as 1 mass email to get the info to everyone
We are very anxiously awaiting the arrival of Baby O, and we know everyone's going to have some questions or need info, etc, so here it goes - hopefully I've covered everything, but let me know if I've left something out!
Once we know that baby really is on the way, we'll let everyone know - but we're asking everyone to please not call us every hour for an update! Once we have anything to update, we'll be sure to let everyone know.
I know some people had mentioned wanting to be in the waiting room for when baby is born, so once we're heading to the hospital, we'll let everyone know, and then by all means, please feel free to come and hang out at the hospital - but in all likelihood it will still be a number of hours, so make sure there's something to keep you occupied!
There's really nothing near the hospital (we'll be at Victoria General), and the cafeteria closes at 4 or 5 I think. There is a fridge there, so you can bring some food and keep it cold if you like, but be sure to label it, or some other pregnant woman might decide that it looks really good at that point
Also - when we were there a man's iPhone was stolen in the amount of time it took for him to go to the nurses desk and ask for an update - there's a lot of people in and out of visiting areas, and the theft rate is pretty high.
We won't have much to update everyone with other than 'we're heading to the hospital', so if we do have anything we need to get out, any updates we have will probably be sent by Scott via text message - that way he can get all the same info to everyone at once, rather than having to make a dozen or so different calls.
Visiting & seeing the baby (the important part!):
Once baby is here and the Dr's/Nurses have had a chance to check everyone over and make sure everything is OK, we'd be happy to introduce Baby O to everyone. So in a perfect world, it'll be about an hour after baby's arrival.
The hospital doesn't have any set visiting hours or limits, but for the first bit, we're asking everyone to keep visits short to give us a chance to rest and recover - especially in the hospital as there's no guarantee of a private room, so we may be sharing a room with another new mom looking to get some rest as well.
Once we're home, we're asking for no visitors on the first day or 2, so we can try and get used to having this little thing with us. Afterwards, visitors are always welcome, especially with lots of notice and anyone bringing a frozen dinner!
As I mentioned, we'll be at the Victoria General. The parking is around by the general entrance, and they are brutal with the parking there, so be careful, otherwise I can almost guarantee you'll end up with a parking ticket.
The labour/delivery ward is on the 3rd floor of the first tower (fist set of elevators you'll come to, and they're blue), and once you get up the the 3rd floor, the waiting room will be on your left, but I'm sure you'll see some familiar faces.
Places to stay:
If someone happens to need a quiet place to crash for a bit while we're at the hospital, our house is available to be used, and I think everyone has the code to the garage so no one has to worry about having to find Scott and get keys to the house.
Once the baby is here, we're asking for no overnight visitors for a while, so if you need a place to stay and don't want to bother with a hotel, ******* have also offered their suite to anyone who wants it as well.
......Not many people want to stay in a house that has a newborn in it anyways
We all know how bright and painful camera flashes are to our eyes, so considering baby's eyes will only be an hour or so old, we're asking if everyone can turn the flashes off on your cameras.
"The Age of Facebook"........I heard someone say one time that 'Nothing is official until it's on Facebook', and it's true - but we're asking everyone to keep everything off of Facebook - anything about the new baby being here, pictures, etc, please don't post anything - we have family that we'd like to be able to tell first, and we don't want them finding out baby has arrived, name, sex, etc through facebook before we've had a chance to tell them.
So, if you're excited about baby arriving, share the excitement with us, and then after we've had a chance to tell the rest of our family, you can share the news with anyone you want
And lastly, if Baby is born during the week, as much as we know everyone wants to be there, we know it's not practical that everyone may be able to leave work or pets etc, and it might be easier for some to wait until the weekend. So if you are planning a visit after we're home, please just let us know so we don't have everyone showing up at once.
So.......what do you think? Is it rude to send something like this out to all our family?
Sorry it's so long, if you made it all the way through, you deserve a medal!! (or maybe a cookie. cookies sound pretty good right now )
I don't think that's rude at all. You're just letting everyone know what you'd like to happen. If I had a super close friend that went into labor, I'd be glad to know that I need to show up after 2 days...and that I can't text/call every hour like I want too..lol. And as for a mass email, I'd totally send that so then everyone would be on the same page and no one feels like they're getting special/different attention.
I agree, I don't think it's rude at all.
HOWEVER there will be some people not happy with your requests. Not because you are being rude or unreasonable but because some people don't think about anyone but themselves and what they want. These are the folks who live in every family and we all know who they are. Don't give in to their demands or complaints! As much as everyone wants 'their time' with new baby, this is YOUR child and you will need time to adjust, heal and bond with your baby. That is much more important than anyone else's desire to meet your child. I speak from experience DD1 was the first grandchild/great grandchild/niece for both sides of the family, I wish I had thought to make these requests back then. My former inlaws were the worst for visiting and staying forever (makes it VERY difficult to try to learn to nurse when you've got a constant audience....
Stick to your guns and send that email off!!
Oh and make sure your DH will back you up (my ex didn't, it caused conflict with me and his family)....
Jo this email is perfect It is NOT rude, no matter what anyone tells you. Like Crystal said, some people may be hurt or offended, but it's just because they aren't respecting that you are having a baby. It's a big deal and frankly it's nice of you to let them be at the hospital at all. I don't think any of your requests are out of line and it will help to avoid any issues later on.
And BTW, thank you for the idea! I think we might have to do something like this as well.
I am going to have my husband, mom, and sister in the room (if they can all make it) for delivery, but after that I want my daughter to be the first person to meet him. That means if he is born in the middle of the night and she's sleeping everyone else is going to have to wait. My DH thinks I'm being a little crazy pregnant lady about this because I allowed his parents in as soon as I was cleaned up last time, but I think we need to make it clear from the get go that this baby is HER brother, and she is our priority, not everyone elses feelings. I hope that my children will have a very close bond and I intend to allow it to blossom from the get go. I also think it would be great to allow her to "introduce" him to everyone else so she feels like being a big sister is a big resposibilty and makes her special
Megan I plan to do the same thing. Only DH will be in the delivery room with me, and we could have grandparents and siblings visit pretty much immediately after baby is born but we want to wait until we get to our maternity ward room before we have any visitors. The first person to meet and hold this baby other than us will be DD, (although she's old enough that she can be woken up in the middle of the night and brought to the hospital if need be). My IL's and grandmother will be making the trip north as soon as we give them the heads up that labor has started. My folks will come up on the weekend after she is born.
I agree that the sibling bond is one that should be nurtured from moment one. With 9 years between mine I really hope we can foster and encourage that bond!
I still have a bit of editing to do, so I'll try to smooth it out even a bit more to avoid ruffling any feathers.
Crystal, that's exactly why I wanted to do this - I watched my SIL go through this when our nephew was born! My MIL wanted to be in the room right after delivery, the whole next day (even while SIL was trying to get the nurses help her with breastfeeding), my MIL was about a foot away from my nephew's face an hour after he was born taking pictures with her flash going off (and we could see it was upsetting him), etc.
.....That same SIL is also a facebook ADDICT. Everything that crosses her mind or that goes on in her day gets posted up there. And while we're happy she's so excited, I don't feel the need for her to share with the world that I'm in labour, and my cervix is 6cms! (.....which she did when her sister was in labour. Seriously.) Plus, baby's gender is still a surprise to all our friends and family, and I don't want her jumping on there and spilling the beans before we've even had a chance to name her!
SIL has also said that likely they won't be able to be there for the delivery (not that we expect them to, they're 3 hours away, have a 15 month old toddler, and both work), but they'll "come down and spend the weekend with us" our first week home! LOL both DH and I jumped onto that right away! They kinda drive us nuts at the best of times, and like you said, I really don't want an audience while I'm trying to learn breastfeeding!
So, this is pretty much geared towards my in laws, but hopefully most of my family will read between the lines and see that it's not intended for them.
And Megan, I think it's a great idea to have your DD meet the new baby first! It's important that she get to welcome her baby brother into the family
LOL it's just a good thing I wrote this, and not DH....he was just going to send an email to everyone in his family that said "1 month. Back off until baby is 1 month old". I didn't see that message being very well received......