I mentioned in my space that I had 3 unnecesareans but I didn't feel like that was the right place to divulge. Let me preface this by saying that c-sections are wonderful, life saving things- WHEN they are necessary. When they are not necessary, they carry a ton of risks and every woman should be aware of those risks and allowed to make an informed decision that she feels is best for her and her little one. I was denied this right, so please understand that there is a very good reason that I am pushing so hard for a vaginal birth after THREE cesareans.
My first birth, I was 16 and suffered from physician failure to wait. At 3cm, he ordered an epidural. I did not ask for it, I did not know the risks of having it that early nor did I know I could refuse medical treatment because I didn't know my a$$ from a hole in the ground and he took advantage of that. My waters started to leak, he ruptured them after telling me matter of factly that he was going to do so without giving me a chance to say anything. I got to 4cm and stalled for 3 hours. There was no fetal distress whatsoever but he whisked me off to the OR under the guise of failure to progress- a condition that I fully believe he caused. He is no longer allowed to deliver babies. Ever. This isn't something I did to him, as I didn't know until 2009 that this had happened. The last baby he delivered was my old supervisor's child and she had a seething hatred for him. She never told me why but I suspect it was bad. I suspect that she is the reason he can no longer deliver babies. Oddly, my stepMIL (whom I do not get along with at all) LOVES this OB and swears he's the best thing since sliced bread. I suppose...as long as you don't value your rights or well being.
My second, was an attempted vbac that the ob spent months telling me he'd "allow", then last minute made me schedule a section "just in case" but assured me that if I went into labor on my own before the c/s, he'd "allow" me a TOL. I went into labor in the pre-op room and he saw the contrax on the monitor, acknowledged that they were very regular, saw that I could not really speak between them and disappeared without checking my cervix. Next thing I know, I was being prepped for the OR, completely unable to fight for myself because of the labor pains. I believe I would have had my son naturally within the next few hours had I been left alone. The worst part about this experience was that after all of this, I read a local c-section horror story of Amber Marlowe and learned that the OB I was seeing, was the very one from that story. Had I known that, I would have ran for the hills. Again, I didn't have any idea that I was about to be taken by a butcher. A butcher that actually left staple scars the whole length of my incision. A butcher that left me feeling like Frankenstein's creation.
My third was another attempted vbac (at a different practice) which involved me arguing and flat out refusing a repeat section to every single doctor I encountered. I made the mistake of asking for pain meds at 40w4d because I had been unable to sleep through the pain for the entire night and I was exhausted. They gave me stadol- insisting it was perfectly safe and then could not find Xander's heartbeat for a short time. When they did find it, he had moved from the birth canal (probably because he too was hallucinating!) but was otherwise looking great. I was in pain, I was exhausted and they scared me into agreeing to another section by telling me that they had never seen a baby leave the birth canal and that they didn't know what it meant. I don't regret that choice but I do wish I had been given proper information on the stadol because I believe I would have refused it and I believe it was the cause of the problems. Had I refused the stadol and problems still occurred, I still would have opted for the section. My only regret with this birth was the stadol- that I did not know was an opiate that could cause respiratory problems.
This time, I WILL have a vbac. I am woman, hear me roar! No doctor in my area is going to agree to a vba3c so this is going to be quite a fight for me but barring any real emergencies, I will push this baby out myself. I know that I can do it. I just need to be allowed to follow my baby's cue's instead of a surgeon's.
You can read more about my first 2 awful birth experiences here http://milkymomma.blogspot.com/2007/06/violation-of-womans-desires.html.