So so sad :(

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So so sad :(

My sister-in-law (dh's sister) was expecting her first baby 6 weeks after us. They lost their baby yesterday. I am so heartbroken for them--I completely understand how she feels. I have had 4 miscarriages and I think none of the 3 later losses I had were as painful as my first. I had no children at the time--so my thoughts were all over the place. What I did to cause it, if I would even even be able to have children, etc. I don't know all the details yet on how she found out--we are giving them time to process before calling and asking a bunch of questions. I had just got a text from my MIL to tell us the sad news and so I texted my SIL our condolences and said to call anytime she needs--that I understand. She said she thought of me all day. She was little when I had my first loss at about the same gestation--I think she was maybe 12. But she does remember it and the later ones and said she guesses no one ever quite understands until they experience it.

I just hope that they are able to conceive again quickly and know they are expecting a healthy baby before our little girl is born--I think it would make it so much more painful for them if not. But I know it took them about 6 months of trying for this first pregnancy too. So, yeah. So so sad for them. We told our kids last night because they already knew she was having a baby. We tried to explain that sometimes when it the baby is very tiny, things just go wrong and the baby stops growing. My 5 year old prayed before he went to bed that our baby wouldn't die too. Sad It is hard for them too. We tried to reassure them that at this point, our baby is really healthy and past most of the danger of having problems growing.

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Hugs to her and you. My last pregnancy was an early loss so I've been a bit on edge with this one. I know when I was a kid, my dad's business partner loss their daughter in a house fire. I was about a year younger and we had the same name. They kept me away for a little but then the doting began... I got lots of "extra love".

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HUGE hugs to you honey. That is so so sad.

Today actually was my due date for the baby I lost in March. It was a VERY hard day. We tried 4 years to get pregnant. It was just so sad. And I'm still sad.

I hope for quick healing for them and for your family. I'm so sorry.

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"smsturner" wrote:

HUGE hugs to you honey. That is so so sad.

Today actually was my due date for the baby I lost in March. It was a VERY hard day. We tried 4 years to get pregnant. It was just so sad. And I'm still sad.

I hope for quick healing for them and for your family. I'm so sorry.

Thank you--so sorry for you too. Those dates are hard. I am glad at least you know you have a healthy baby growing now! That gave me a lot of comfort after my first m/c that by the time that first due date rolled around, I was expecting again and knew we were having a boy and he was healthy. I hope the same for them. I really hope that happens sooner than that even--that when ours is born, they already have that. I feel like it will make it a little easier, I hope. Apparently she has been spotting since the beginning but had an early u/s that confirmed a baby with a h/b and the dr said not to worry about the spotting unless it got worse. So it got worse on Sunday and she went in yesterday morning and found the baby had stopped growing sometime after that first u/s. She was about 12 weeks--So I guess she was just about 8 weeks after me. The u/s she had yesterday showed a bean too small for 12 weeks-more like 8. That is what happened to me both of my later miscarriages--growth stopped at about 8 weeks but I didn't miscarry until 13 and 14 weeks. The early ones were like 7 weeks.

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So sorry to hear this, they are in my thoughts. I hope they are able to conceive again quickly. -HUGS-

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oh that is so hard, i can't imagin, being that far in and having a loss. I had an early loss and it was hard. I guess its never easy. thoguths and prayers to her and hopefully she can find a happy place again before your delivery. I know it tough.