Too close to home....
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Thread: Too close to home....

  1. #1
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    Default Too close to home....

    A friend of mine was a week overdue and was induced yesterday. We got a phone call this morning at 5 am that they needed my husband's support at the hospital to give the baby a blessing (my dh is a leader at our church). The baby was born early this morning and during a long contraction at the end of labor, her heart stopped. They worked on the baby for an hour and gave her a blood transfusion and she finally had a heart rate again and was breathing on her own. They were just about to transfer her to a higher level NICU when my dh arrived to help.

    So after he left the hospital, dh called me to tell me what had happened. He told me about her heart stopping, the transfusion etc. And the reason they are suspecting the baby had trouble? Because my friend is RH negative and she somehow was sensitized and her blood mixed with the baby's. They suspect this because they found no problems with the placenta or cord and the blood transfusion made a complete turnaround in her status. This is also her 5th baby (like mine) and she and I are both RH neg. She has never had an issue with RH incompatibility before (neither have I) so the whole thing was just hard on me all day. I worry for my poor friend, who I'm sure is going through the ringer right now. I cannot even go and visit the hospital and see how she is because I have 2 sick kiddos! They are hopeful the baby will make a great recovery because even before she was transferred, she had begun to breathe on her own and maintain a good pulse. Plus her brain activity was looking really good. They just worry about long term effects of that hour after birth before they got her stabilized.

    So please send your prayers for baby and family.
    Holly
    DS 2/04
    DD 10/05
    DS 7/08
    DS 1/12
    #5--a GIRL due 3/2/14!

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  2. #2
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    How scary! Glad baby seems to be doing better and hopefully there will be no long term issues. I thought they could give injections to help prevent antibodies being formed to reduce the risk of Rh incompatibility at birth? My grandma is Rh negative and feels very fortunate that she was able to have four children without difficulty before they tested for this sort of thing.
    Christina

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  3. #3
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    My dh just called me. The baby didn't make it. I am so heartbroken for them. They do give shots--she had them. I don't know if that is what happened. That was what they just suspected at first.

    I guess the baby had good brain activity at first but then during the ambulance transfer to the higher level NICU, she lost all brain activity. I don't know any more than that yet, if they still have her on machines for them to say good-bye or what. I am heartbroken for them and then of course, being only a few weeks from my due date, it makes me scared that something so tragic could happen.

    So sorry to bring a downer post about something so sad and a subject so close to us all right now--I'm just in pieces today
    Holly
    DS 2/04
    DD 10/05
    DS 7/08
    DS 1/12
    #5--a GIRL due 3/2/14!

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  4. #4
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    That is horrible. I feel so sad for your friend, her family and you all that are close to them *hugs* Losing a child must be one of the worst things a person can go through in their life. Such heartache....
    Christina

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    Oh Hun, I am so sorry! Sending hugs!!!

  6. #6
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    Thank you. Oh, its just been so hard every time I think about it! We were just commiserating end-of-pregnancy aches and pains at church 2 weeks ago (she stayed home to rest up for the induction this past Sunday). Dh is taking it much, much harder than he usually would. Yes, they are friends of his too, but not our closest friends and usually he has a "guy" response to things like this that are not in our immediate family--a "that's so sad and heartbreaking" response but last night he couldn't hold back the tears. He was there at the hospital when she was fine! She was not awake, but he said she was so beautiful and perfect, taking good breaths and he and the dad both put their hands on her head to bless her. And so he came home late from work last night after a very long day just drained. He saw our baby's carseat sitting in our room waiting for the time to put it in the car and even that made him sad--as it has me to see things around our house getting ourselves ready for our own little girl to come home.

    I am not even sure what to do for them...give them more time without bombarding with phone calls or stopping by with flowers etc? Or what? So, so hard....
    Holly
    DS 2/04
    DD 10/05
    DS 7/08
    DS 1/12
    #5--a GIRL due 3/2/14!

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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyBear View Post
    I am not even sure what to do for them...give them more time without bombarding with phone calls or stopping by with flowers etc? Or what? So, so hard....
    That is hard because everyone mourns differently. I know I just wanted to be alone to process everything after my dad passed away, but some people do better if they have active support during that time, even if it is just a card saying you are thinking of them and offering help if possible (though that can be difficult since you are getting closer to your own EDD). Do you think your church will be organizing something like a meal delivery sign up, etc for the family? Hopefully someone close to the family can keep everyone else informed as to what the family wishes at this time so they can get the right amount of support they need.

    ETA: At my work, when a co-worker experiences a death or serious illness in family, we try to arrange a daily meal sign up with a designated person/place to collect frozen meals for several days and then one person delivers meals when it is convenient for family so that they don't feel like they are getting bombarded with visitors. People can also include their condolence card/note with the meal.
    Last edited by xtinagreen; 02-05-2014 at 02:51 PM.
    Christina

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    They do have meals set up through Sunday so far--I signed up for Sunday. All the meals are going through the same person who has been helping care of kids (she was at their house caring for their kids when they were at the hospital before everything went bad).

    There is also an OBGYN at church who, even though he isn't her doctor, came over last night to give her a post-delivery checkup because she didn't even check out of the hospital--she just left because she had to rush to the other hospital to see her baby before they took her off the machines. So she was never checked on before leaving. He is also making sure she gets the meds she needs etc. I've been getting all this info through the president of the women's organization. She also said they are working on getting them help with funeral arrangements and expenses.

    I just want to do something personally myself--I feel like I should, but I don't know how to help in this situation.
    Holly
    DS 2/04
    DD 10/05
    DS 7/08
    DS 1/12
    #5--a GIRL due 3/2/14!

    Visit eyeMateys.com for fun Amblyopia eye patches today!

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyBear View Post
    They do have meals set up through Sunday so far--I signed up for Sunday. All the meals are going through the same person who has been helping care of kids (she was at their house caring for their kids when they were at the hospital before everything went bad).

    There is also an OBGYN at church who, even though he isn't her doctor, came over last night to give her a post-delivery checkup because she didn't even check out of the hospital--she just left because she had to rush to the other hospital to see her baby before they took her off the machines. So she was never checked on before leaving. He is also making sure she gets the meds she needs etc. I've been getting all this info through the president of the women's organization. She also said they are working on getting them help with funeral arrangements and expenses.

    I just want to do something personally myself--I feel like I should, but I don't know how to help in this situation.

    I would send flowers with a card saying that I was thinking of her and that you are available if she needs to talk. I will PM you a special version of "I Am A Child of God", they may want to use it at the funeral.
    Margaret (44)
    Sean (38 )
    Robbie (8 )
    Bailey (April 2, 2011)


    "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." Caroline Myss

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