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Last seen: 5 years 7 months ago
Joined: 03/26/11
Posts: 2

I love my LO Allyssa and she is going to be 5 weeks old on Monday 3/28. I have never really dealt with newborns (She was my first diaper change ever!) and the same goes for my husband. He works nights (4PM-4AM) and I cry daily. I am on medication for postpartum depression but feel like I am not doing a good job with Ally-Cat. I talk to her while I feed her and change her and throughout the day and that's about it. I give her tummy time and cheer her on as well as let her play on her play mat or go in her swing. I do pump and she takes a bottle but won't latch on to me anymore-which is ok since she does eat well with the bottle. I mix it half formula and half breastmilk. Am I doing things right? Books only tell you so much and with this depression, I think it makes things even harder for me! Please help me out or tell me if I am doing things ok-I mean you can only do so much with a newborn, right? :eek:

daniellec.parker's picture
Last seen: 2 years 7 months ago
Joined: 09/06/09
Posts: 895

First off, let me be the first to say welcome to the Feb 11 birth board! You have come to the right place. There are a lot of us here who are FTM, me included! I'm not sure about the breast milk/ formula because I have no experience there... But that sounds ok to me.

As for everything else--- you are doing a great job! There is only so much you can do with a newborn. Once she starts smiling and interacting with you a little more you feel like you're doing more, at least I did.

I wish I had more time for a longer post and to comfort/ offer you more support now, but I am out of time. Just wanted to send a :bigarmhug: your way.

Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 07/06/10
Posts: 33


Being a FTM (first time mom) is not easy. This is my first one as well and I can't tell how many times my LO has been fussing/crying and I just look at her and say "I have no idea what else I can do for you". It's frustrating and there have been tears.

Danielle is right when she says there isn't much that they do at this stage. They need the basic things in life and that's kind of it. MY DH was gone for 10 days in a row when DD was just 2 weeks old and the nights were very frustrating so I can sympathize with your DH's work schedule. You're doing a great job though. Hang in there.

Last seen: 3 years 8 months ago
Joined: 05/31/10
Posts: 41

You're doing a great job. Like the others said, they don't do much at first, so catering to their needs is what you do. She'll get more interactive as she gets older. I'm only BF'ing so I'm not sure about the formula mixture either but it sounds fine. She is still getting the benefits of your milk too. It is great that you took the step to get help though with your PP depression. I think a lot of women are embarrassed about it and don't get help so you are moving in the right direction. You're doing great and keep your head up. :bigarmhug:

lynettea76l's picture
Last seen: 4 years 8 months ago
Joined: 06/27/10
Posts: 33

It sounds like you are doing a great job! I think it is the depression that is putting such doubt in your mind. Every mom wonders if they are doing this "right" but the fact is there are things you should and should not do but there is not a "right" way to do things. You learn your baby and you do what works for you and her. You are doing fine:)

Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
Joined: 11/23/07
Posts: 870

Sounds like you are doing fine, really, there isnt much else a newborn needs than waht you are giving her! they sleep, eat, poop, and need you to talk and pay attention to them, and you're covering all the bases.

Meryne's picture
Last seen: 5 years 2 months ago
Joined: 05/12/08
Posts: 116

Awww...dont worry! You can only do so much with them right now. This is my second, but I remember feeling similar with my first. Although, i slept with my first almost every time she slept, so you can imagine that I got a lot of sleep. I also had pp depression (and am currently on meds for this baby too). I can vividly remember those first weeks with my first and honestly, they were horrible (she had such bad colic). I remember looking at her and thinking, "I know i love you, but what have I done to my life???". It all comes to pass. Before you know it, you know them better and they get becomes less of a mystery. You will always wonder if you are doing things right or good enough, but it becomes much less anxiety provoking, in my opinion. So hang in there! You sound like you are doing the most you possibly can at this point.

m3773a's picture
Last seen: 5 years 1 month ago
Joined: 03/15/08
Posts: 170

I felt like that with my first one, I had a really hard time connecting with her, I looked at her and couldn't believe she is mine, I had such a mixture of emotions. On top of that she wasn't latching on so I couldn't nurse her, that was a huge thing for me, I didn't feel like a mom. I cried a lot in the first 2 months. I remember when she would smile at DH but not at me, that hurt me so much. I pumped for 3 weeks but didn't have much milk so ended up giving up on that.
Soon you will be able to do more with the baby, but it is a slow progress the first 6 months or so, don't beat yourself up, you are doing everything right. At this point all they need is love ( and food and diaper changes lol).