Thread: *Anchor's Aweigh*

Yup, that's my head today. Fun fun fun eh? I wish it would just blow up!! Might ease some of this damn sinus pressure!!

Hunh, it’s like… I don’t care about nuthin’ man. Roll another blunt. Yeah…. cuz.)
(Yeah x 2)
I was gonna clean my room until I got high.
I was gonna get up and find the broom, but then I got high.
My room is still messed up, and I know why.
(Why man?)
‘Cuz I got high, because I got high, because I got high.
I was gonna go to class before I got high.
(C’mon y’all, check it out.)
I could’ve cheated and I could’ve passed, but I got high.
I’m takin’ it next semester and I know why.
[Why man?]
‘Cuz I got high, because I got high, because I got high.
[Go to the next one, go to the next one, go to the next one BUCCCCOC!]

I was gonna go to work, but then I got high.
I just got a new promotion, but I got high.
Now I’m sellin’ dope, and I know why.
[Why man?]
‘Cuz I got high, because I got high, because I got high.

I was gonna go to court before I got high.
I was gonna pay my child support, but then I got high.
[No you wasn’t.]
They took my whole paycheck and I know why.
[Why man?]
‘Cuz I got high, because I got high, because I got high.

I wasn’t gonna run from the cops, but I was high.
[I’m serious man.]
I was gonna pull right over and stop, but I was high.
Now I’m a paraplegic, and I know why.
[Why man?]
‘Cuz I got high, because I got high, because I got high.

I was gonna pay my car note until I got high.
[Say what, say what?]
I wasn’t gonna gamble on the boat, but then I got high.
Now the tow truck’s pullin’ away and I know why.
[Why man?]
‘Cuz I got high, because I got high, because I got high.

I was gonna make love to you, but then I got high.
I was gonna eat your _____ too, but then I got high.
Now I’m jackin’ off and I know why.
[Turn that ____ off.]
Cuz I got high (Do that over.) Because I got high, because I got high.

(Go, go, go, go,…)

I messed up my entire life because I got high.
I lost my kids and wife because I got high.
(say what, say what, say what, say what, ohhhhhh.)
Now I’m sleepin’ on the sidewalk and I know why.
(Why man?)
Cuz I got high

I’ma stop singing this song because I’m high. (present tense)
I’m singing this whole thing wrong because I’m high.
(bring it back, bring it back, bring it back)
And if I don’t sell one copy, I’ll know why.
(Why man?)
Cuz I’m high
(Are you really high though, man?)

Cuz I’m high, cuz I’m high, cuz I’m high.

Well my name is Afroman and I'm from East Palmdell
And all the tumble weed I be smokin is bomb as hell
I don't believe in Hitler thas what I said
So all of you skins, please give me more head

Afro mu****in' M-A-N
A, E, I, O, U and sometimes W
We gonna never sell one of these mother ____in' albums cuz
Lets go back to Marsha Durbins and hang some more chickens cuz

____ the corporate world, Biotchhhhhhh!!!

Kymberly~ That song is at the end of a movie by my most favorite director of all time~ Kevin Smith!!

Anyways.. Title of this post issss..
The African Killer Bee made me do it!!

So there I was sittin on my bed talking to C on my cell, PCS to PCS.. And out of the corner of my eye I see a HUGE *** UGHHHHHHH-LY bee!!! First it was crawling up my mirror, then it started flying around.. and then.. Poof! It's gone. OMGGGGGGGg I start flipping out cause I am seriously serioulsy allergic to bee stings. (we're talking like from contact till death is only 1/2 hour for me.. No bee kit, no life.. And I don't have one)
I told Amber, who started walking toward my bedroom, to be careful cause there was a bee in there (as I tried to figure out how the hell it got in). And she goes "ummmmmm mom, not anymore" as it flies past her head into my living room Great!! Boinking great!! Now the bee is in my living room. At that point, C makes a comment "What's it look like?" I said 'no bee I've ever seen before that's for damn sure!!' C:"Well maybe it's one of those African Killer Bee's" Me:' Haha.. Funny Chris..'
So there flies the bee, around my living room and I grab for the universal housewoman's pest weapon of choice- the broom, and I decide that the first time that lil fugger lands, it's gone if I can reach it. Guess where it lands?? That's right, a window. So I swat as gently yet fatally as I can and well.. The bee is gone, yet his life has been spared. The swat broke the glass and freed the bee.. Well, atleast it's out of my house..
Had some fun cardboarding up the window till I can call the glass place and have the window replaced.. *Sigh* the things you do when you fear for your life, I tell ya...

The return of the African Killer Bee~ Sequel or Ricky meets Mr Ugh-ly!!

So I called Ricky last night and told him I broke the window, he wasn't pissed at all. All he said was "well thank God noone got stung". PHEW!!
I discovered last night that the window I broke was double-pained glass, and I only shattered one paine of it, sooooo apparently Mr Bee was still inside my house, technically speaking. I know this because this morning I was sitting here making a few business phone calls and what do I see out of the corner of my eye? HAHAHAAAAAAA the Psycho bee from hell -again-!! Well this time Ricky is home so I hang up the phone screaming "killitkillitkillit!!!!!!"
Ricky:Jesus Christ, Diane its just a.... holy **** that's a bigass bee!!
Me: I told you!
Ricky: Well hell, I'm not goin near it, you kill it!
(mind you, mr bee is on a different window)
Me:Right, cause we're going for two broken windows and a possible suicide today? Hmmmm no! Just grab *something* and squash it!!! *runs into bedroom and locks door*
*Inaudible whines and grumbles from Ricky*
Ricky :HAHA!! I got ya, ****er! Hey Di, it's outside now! I shoo'd him out the door.. But he's trapped between the door and the screen door

Thankfully for us, our screen has a hole in it big enough for psycho bee, and I looked out the door just in time to see him crawl out it and fly away.

So I have a bee-free home once more.

Guess who's back? haha
I used to be broke, confused..no joke
Got used, smoked dope, paid dues
Refused to give up quick,
Now theres 10 million mother****ers on my ****
So what, say how, say who
**** what, **** me, **** you
Come clean, you know I will
Drink a fifth of Jim Beam and still stand still uh
I'm the illest fool
Cooler than the water in a swimmin' pool
Fly like a seagul, kickin' like a mule
More jams than a beetle from Liverpool
I deliver fool
Now who the **** are you?
I'm Kid mother****in' Rock from the old school
Got more money, than Matchbox 20
Get more *** than Mark McGrath

They say I'm cocky, and I say What?
It aint braggin' mother****er if ya back it up
They say I'm cocky, and I say What?
It aint braggin' mother****er if ya back it up

I'm from the outskirts of Detroit rock city
A shirts, cadilacs, big titties
Skinny models you can keep those
I like big corn fed mid western hoes
Dont you know? Talk fast, pimp slow
Show up to black ties in t-shirts and slippers
Sippin' liquor, **** models, love strippers
Known as the big tipper with the big dipper
I got queens holdin' keys to my slipper
**** a real good girl, I got the baddest ***** in the world

They say I'm cocky, and I say What?
It aint braggin' mother****er if ya back it up
They say I'm cocky, and I say What?
It aint braggin' mother****er if ya back it up

You think you got it good in Hollywood
I got acres of land laid back in the woods
Holdin' shares, cool like Fonzy
Rollin' Lake St. Clair in my 40 ft. donzy
You got a Bently? Wow!
I got jets with web bars and trucks with gold plows
***** bow when I pimp through
For the Kid the Rock the red, white and blue
Who knew the Kid would be
Everything from old George Jones to Jay Z
Baby I'm sick of gettin ripped off
So pissed 'bout to be pissed off
Mackin' me cause you know I'm paid
That's why I'm clapin' my gardners and ****in' my maids
Nevermind my age but if we're takin' number
15 million sold mother****er

They say I'm cocky, and I say What?
It aint braggin' mother****er if ya back it up
They say I'm cocky, and I say What?
It aint braggin' mother****er if ya back it up

Cocky, and I say What?
It aint braggin' mother****er if ya back it up
They say I'm cocky, and I say What?
It aint braggin' mother****er if ya back it up

Okay, so Amber went to summer camp damn near a month ago to a place just over two hours away, was only gone for a week and JUST TODAY I got a letter from her from camp.

How odd is that? Is the postal service really that slow?

On the other hand, I am still waiting on a call or txt from C today.. Dunno if I am gonna get one though. I hope so

Well I did get my call from C last night and we talked about me going there. Not as much as we should have, because I was concerned that his ex (who still thinks theres something between them) is considering moving there also. UGH what Springer material that would be eh? And we wouldn't have to go far
So anyways, I am still tentatively going to Chicago on the 16th but my conscience has gotten the better of me... I can't move there and take my kids that far away from their Daddy. As much of an asshole as he has ever been to me, I can't do that to him, or them.
So I talked to Ricky about this last night and he doesn't have a problem with me going, he will gladly keep after the kids while I am gone.

Gotta talk to C about it further today. He only has a half day today because of the holiday, so he will be out of school in less than an hour. Wahoo!

Sean Paul ohhhhh he's so HOT!!
Gimme the Light


Jus Gimme the light
yea yeah
Jus Gimme the light
yo yo
Jus Gimme the light
dont say it
jus gime the light
sean paul

[Chorus:]
Jus gimme the ligh
and pass the dro
Bust another bottle of moe
Gal dem in a me sight
and I gots o know
Which one is gonna catch my flow
Causle i'm in a the vibes
and i got my dough
Bust another botte of moe
Gurl dem lookin hype
and i gots to know

[Verse 1 & 3]
Could I be your protector
your buff in every sector
Everyman around dem
wanna turn your inspector
but u no let them sweat ya
No grill you with no lecture
But dem power drill
or dem feul injector
Dem a infector
Disease collector
Nuff of dem a gon on
like dem wan come wreck ya
Done out the part
where you got in your center
But u know
u dont let themn guy affect ya

[Chorus]

[Verse 2 & 4]
One / Two / Three / Four / Five of them
Situation gettinh really live again
Girl dem wanna Fi hang out with
The players and the riders de
Beside of them and dem say
Dem tired of the liars
Dem friars and connivers
will never get inseide of dem
Dem clyder dem
Especially the money hider dem
Watchie watchie girl bout dem
A try fi make bride of dem
Denied again
some of them move like a spiderman
Girl dem say nah
open wide again

Well, today was a long and eventful day. I went over town this AM to pay some bills, came home and rested for a bit then the kids and I went to a park for them to play.
While we were there, we ran into Amber's uncle and his fiancee and daughter (gawd he's annoying). So anyways they beg and bribe for me to let my kids go home with them and uh-uh.. I aint havin it.. I said, well we don't really have anything else to do today so we will all just come over for a little bit. Holy **** was that ever a mistake!!We get to their three bedroom trailor that is like, the size of my dining and living rooms combined (with as much crap in it as my whole house including basement).Floors are caving in, there is stuff-just stuff.. garbage, games, everything-everywhere. Um yeah, needless to say we didn't stay very long. And they are tryin to get me to allow my children to stay the night there. Excuse me but um.. NO! I didn't want to be rude and say "look your house is a ****in pig sty and plus I dont really know you or your psycho gf" so I just said I had to talk to Ricky about it.
So psycho chic (who by this time has already called me blind because I couldnt see her tiny *** garbage can buried under a mountain of crap and fat ) proceeds to tell me that Ricky has no right to say anything about where my children spend the night at and that I need to just let them. I said yes he does, he is their dad.
Chic: Well technically he can only say anything about the younger two and Amber can stay
Me: Well technically he has every right to partake in decisions regarding any and all children in this family of mine and his, Amber included.
Chic: But Amber isnt his.
Me: As far as the city of Erie is concerned, she is.. He is on all her school records, he is financially responsible for her and he is the only father she knows. I can't help it if your fiancee's brother is ****ed in the head.
Chic: I dont see what the big deal is.
Me: the big deal is that I am not allowing my children to stay anywhere without asking him first
Her: So call him\
Me: I cant, he is at work right now
Her: Call him there
Me: I cant, unless it's an emergency
Her: well I would say this is pretty ****ing important
Me(by this time gettin irritated): I'm sorry, I fail to see the urgency in "can the kids stay the night at Donnie's house tonight.
Her: Well I ****in' don't
Me: Sorry about your luck.. Come on guys, time to go home and get ready for bed.

Wow I have never been so irritated by someone I just met!
Their house irritates me, they irritate me, her mouth irritates me and the way she talks to him (even if he is annoying) irritates me. I cant stand people who talk to others, esp their sig other, like they are below them and don't deserve respect.
I have something buggin me about their whole situation, but that is a post for the anything board I spose.

So yeah, anyways.. Ricky's final answer on the spending the night thing was a huge, resounding NO!!!.. Are we surprised? I'm not.

Pst! Di's a bad person now because I had a Amaretto Sour last night.. (everyone keeps talkin bout how good they are, so I decided to sample. It was just enough to wet my whistle though, so I doubt I did any damage to miss Nameless)

Oh and that's another thing.. Poor Marlee is now nameless. Well, not exactly, but close enough. Ricky has decided (maybe I said this already) that he doesn't like the name Marlee anymore. Yet he has only come up with one suggestion.. Madelyn. Not sure if I like it as much as Marlee, so I told him to come up with some alternates. As far as I am concerned, Marlee's name is Marlee until he can come up with a name that I like.

C is out gettin his own comp today complete with Webcam (this could be dangerous...) He used to just use the base library comps but now he will have his own.

Bah, not much else to say.