Well... I am not quite sure where to start. The beginning... middle... the end?
DH called me last night while I was out with a friend to tell me that he wants a divorce. Granted, he says that a lot... an awful lot, but this time he was serious. He said he doesn't love me... he has never loved me. Our 5 yr anniversary is/was coming up in February 2007.
I felt indifferent when he called because he has been telling me that he wants a divorce for quite some time now. Then I went to his job for lunch today... he again said that he wants a divorce. That he will never love me, and be the type of husband I need. He plays off this whole sh*t as "for your own good."
Tonight he came over to the house (we don't live together) to see the kids, eat dinner, and we got into a huge fight. I started hitting him and punching him and telling him how much I hate him. He left pretty quickly... then called to rub it in. I want him to hurt how I am hurting.
DH called back about 2 hrs later and says he will give us 1 year to work on things and re-evaluate. I don't know what to think.
I don't know whether to be happy or not. Like I have already invested 5 yrs into this, and what if I put in 1 more year for nothing? Or what if everything suddenly gets better in 1 yr?
I hate posting about this stuff on the June BB because I know they all have their own problems and I don't want to make the board a down place... but I need someone to talk to.
I have a good friend at work... but he is leaving in 3 wks. I am kinda sad about that. I will miss him a bit. He is a great listener and has walked me through many an arguement with DH and just sat there while I cried my eyes out.
Okay... today I went to Wally World to pick up some pictures I had dropped off for one hour service. The whole thing sucked.
The photo department said their CD machine was broken... you think anyone called me to let me know? Um... nope. I was slightly irritated, but then the dumb girl working had to nerve to tell me... "It is not our job to call and tell you that we can't get what we promised you in the promised time." I wanted to smack her. I resisted.
Next stop... McDonalds. My kids were heathens. The got syrup everywhere... all over... it was chaos. LOL. I love them so much, but it is times like that I wish I could have gone by myself.
Now, I am at home and can't seem to get motivated to clean house. I want a clean house... just don't feel like cleaning.
Talked to B today. He called while he was out running some errands. Kinda a little lift to an otherwise LONG day. We didn't talk about nothing imortant... well, we talked about the kids. Laughed about me trying to be a supermom and drag all 3 boys around town.
Took all the boys out to the grocery store today. That was LOADS of fun. Then DH came over and made dinner for me. I really appreciated it. He even called me tonight to see how I was feeling.
I am getting a really bad pain in my stomach on the right side... it just kills me to change positions. I wonder what it is.