Your hair is AWESOME
Your hair is AWESOME
That color looks great!!!
I love love love love love your hair! You are so Tonks! :)
I can't even pretend to be in a good mood today.
I can't say anything positive because I don't feel anything positive.
I can't look for the bright side right now.
I promised my girls that I'd spend a special day with them, reading and playing and baking together. And that's probably a good idea. It may get my mind off of my stupid chart, my stupid temps, and my stupid, screwed-up body.
:bighug: you take the day then, we'll still be here waiting tomorrow! love ya!
Me: Well, hello Drawn Out Cycle of Evil, my one time good friend turned Arch Nemesis. I thought I'd killed you.
DOC Evil: It seems you were mistaken, Bond.
Me: It's not Bond anymore.
DOC Evil: What?
Me: My name. It's not Bond anymore. I got married, remember?
DOC Evil: Of course! So sorry. You know what they say. Old habits...
Me: Die hard. Just like you, DOC.
DOC Evil: Indeed.
Me: What happened to us, DOC? We were once so close. I held on to you with all I had and now... Now all you want is to crush my dreams. You changed, DOC.
DOC Evil: No. It wasn't me that changed. It was your dreams.
Me: My dreams. Of course.
Me: What now, DOC?
DOC Evil: Duel to the death?
Me: Eh... Sure. Why not?
What??? You have a problem with me making up stories about dueling my long drawn out cycles to the death?! Huh? HUH?! Cuz someday this will be a blockbuster movie, and we'll see who's laughing then!
Oh, Ally. I love you.
Before I talk about anything else, I'll say this: I'm PRETTY SURE I'm ovulating today. Yeah... Over two weeks after when I first thought I was going to O, 10 days after the 2nd time I thought I was Oing, and either way well into what I THOUGHT was the two week wait, my temps drop and all signs point to ovulation.
I guess this explains the lukewarm temps that I've been seeing. They had me so worried. I was freaking out because I thought that I HAD ovulated and that my body wasn't producing enough progesterone to lift my temps and that any pregnancy wouldn't have a chance. To be perfectly honest, the only reason that I was going to test on Friday was to know if there was a baby being lost or not.
But THIS! It changes everything around! If my temps are high for the next three days, then I will KNOW I ovulated, I will KNOW what DAY I ovulated, I will KNOW exactly how far into the two week wait I am. It's funny, because it seems like it should really annoy me that I have to start the 2ww all over again, but it doesn't! I'm just HAPPY to know that any pregnancy that may occur has a chance of surviving. VERY HAPPY.
The one downside, of course, is that I won't get to test on my EDD. But, it seems, it just wasn't meant to be. I will release a balloon for my lost love when the sun has gone down and it's just Matt and me beneath the stars, watching them all laugh. And we'll be celebrating his life, and his alone. And that's okay.
Yesterday was a good day. I spent the whole day with my girls, and I think that is just what all of us needed. I even took pictures, because I'm nice like that. ;)
We spent a lot of time reading Dr. Seuss books. I think the girls would have been happy with just doing that all day long, but I moved them onto bigger and better things after about an hour.
I gave them free reign of Mommy's Make-up, which had them a bit in awe.
We had a Princess Tea Party. I gave them apple cider. They didn't know the difference. They also got vanilla wafers and frosting. Fancy. I know.
A good bit of time was spent teaching them Miss Mary Mack and other clapping games. Trinity was able to do the very basic clap-slap pattern. Kally, being only two years old, just held her hands up for me to slap. It was pretty cute.
After that we made homemade play dough, which was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.
We played with that for a long time, but it started to dry out and the girls starting using it as stuff-to-throw-at-the-walls, so it ended up in the garbage.
Kally took a nap while Trinity and I watched Biggest Loser. Trin has a crush on Bob and sits very happily through every episode, no matter how long they are.
When that was over and Kally got back up, I helped them play "games" on the computer. The favorite, by far, was "give mommy a makeover" on one of those websites where you can change your hair and makeup and such. Here's one Trinity and I came up with:
I laugh every time I see it. And see? I knew I'd look good with blue hair!
That was about it. I made them Breakfast For Dinner, which is one of their favorite things, and then they took a bath and went to bed. It was good for us. Really good. I needed to be able to just focus entirely on the two amazing gifts that I have for one day to just turn around my perspective of the whole month. I am so VERY thankful for them.