Super original name for a blog, right?
So, I'm Ally.
I hate trying to describe myself. My personality, what I look like. I really do. I mean, how can I possibly do so without sounding either egotistical or self-deprecating? So I will skip that part of the introduction and if you don't know me already then can pick up on it as we go.
As for what my life is like ~ That I can do.
I am 24 years old. I've been married for six years to my high school sweetheart. We have two daughters, ages 4 and 2.
My husband works.
I stay at home with the girls.
I have a lot of people who say, "But that's still working! You have to cook and clean and yadda, yadda, yadda." I'm going to be honest here, though. If it were such hard work, then I wouldn't be able to spend half of every day on pregnancy.org talking with my friends. I have a very free life. When I want to, I can spend hours playing with my girls or dancing with them or just watching them act silly. Or I can read a book all day long. I can write or paint or sew or garden or go on walks to the park with my dog and my girls or listen to every song that I love. Or I can watch hours of Doctor Who. My girls and I love watching Doctor Who. If you also love Doctor Who (the new series, in particular), then we would probably make good friends. Unless you spend your time writing fan fiction about it. People who write fan fiction freak me out a little bit. It's like, come up with your own characters, people. I don't really want to read about your bastardized Doctor, or even know that he exists...
Nerd ranting, even. That's got to be worse.
Right, so, basically, I have a very good life. There are not a lot of rules to it. Not a lot on constrictions to my time. There are few things that I must do every day, and they are:
1) Wake up when the alarm goes of to take my temperature.
2) Make my family breakfast, lunch, and dinner. (None of which are often very complicated.)
3) Shower at some point.
4) Spend some time with my husband so that he knows how much I love him.
That's it. And I love my life, though it could be more adventurous. No worries, though. I'm working on that part.
AND, the point of this bloggy-journal thing: I'm trying to get pregnant right now. It was a year and a month ago that my husband and I first started trying for our next baby. And we succeeded, for a time, in May of 2008. I was pregnant for 11 weeks before losing my baby. I don't know what the sex was, but we felt in our hearts that it was a boy. From day one we called it "The Little Prince". Like that was who our baby was and we KNEW it. And if you've ever read The Little Prince, you'll know why it was so ironic (and, somehow, expected) that he was lost. We named him Jude Eugene-James.
It was a very hard time in our lives. In fact, all of 2008 was a hard time in our lives. In future years, we'll look back at 2008 and say, "Thanks for NOTHING." I won't get into all of the crap that happened that year. Just know we lost Jude, and that was what the whole of the year revolved around.
Jude would have been due on February 13th, 2009.
I'll be testing to see if I'm pregnant this cycle (after 3 cycles of trying post-loss) on his EDD. I'm praying that it will be positive. But if it's not, I'm confident that God will carry me through that day.
I've noticed that a lot of the journals on here are from women who have had miscarriages. I think we may just have more that we have to get off of our chests. More fears. More anticipation. More riding on those two little lines or the strong heartbeat of a tiny embryo or doubling numbers that most pregnant women never think twice about. You don't hear much about miscarriage in day-to-day life, but it's everywhere. We're not alone.
Super excited "Hello!" to my CTC Girls! Hope I don't bore you all too much with More Of The Same.
And CTC Girls have my special permission to post on this journal if they feel so inclined. Just don't expect me to write back to you in the context of the journal itself.
Love ya all,