Being a little crazy sucks
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Thread: Being a little crazy sucks

  1. #1
    Community Host wlillie's Avatar
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    Default Goodness gracious

    The neighbor across the street is fantastic. I'm not talking about in one area, I'm talking about all of them. She's super sweet, pretty but not breathtaking, crafty, organized, skinny, and has the patience I can only dream of. I'm sure her child doesn't eat fast food and doesn't watch TV while his mother has a pity party on the internet. She dresses very modestly and teaches Sunday school and volunteers in the community. She stays at home and is pregnant with their second boy. I want her life and to be more like her (without the modest dress). My life is pretty damn close to perfect so why can't I just be happy with what I have?

    It's unfortunate that I got their good news on a day where I peed on three different strips hoping for a positive and was disappointed every single time.
    Last edited by wlillie; 01-07-2012 at 11:48 PM.

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    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    I hope you don't mind me commenting on your journal. But I wanted to say that no matter how "together" someone else may look on the outside, no one has a perfect life. I think you should stop thinking about how much you want to be like someone else, because I think that Lillie is pretty awesome all by herself.
    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

    Got an opinion? We've got a board! Come join us for some lively debate on the Face Off! Debate Arena board.

  3. #3
    Community Host wlillie's Avatar
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    Awww Thanks. Oh yeah! Anyone can comment unless you have something offensive to say. Then please PM me so I can delete it after reading it. I don't mind honest feedback, just have a bit of a festering problem when it comes to negative things.

    Ok. She's on vacation this week and I just got back from mine and her's is going to be much more stressful (14hrs driving with a two year old ) so I'm cool at the moment. Hoping to not catch too much PMS because despite peeing on 20something sticks in the last week and a half, there is always one line.

    BUT, my cousin is pregnant and I'm not sure what's she is planning, but abortion isn't an option *at all* in our family. Right now she got kicked out of my cousin (her older sister)'s house and is living with my 85 year old grandmother. Said Grandmother has been told (by my mother) and I don't know what her reaction was because as my Mom was telling me this child (she's so immature!) is pregnant I got a headache and begged off the phone. What if she'd give it to me? She'd make a good mother once she realized how much it was going to take, but what if she decided to give the baby up for adoption? I would be the perfect person because she adores me, my family, my house and I would be perfectly happy with an open adoption with every other weekend visits (we live four hours apart and I'd have no problem with her staying with us).

    I've been thinking about adopting ever since I found out the type of chemo dh had could cause fertility issues. He never wants to talk about anything and even getting him to discuss trying for this baby was like pulling teeth. However, there is no doubt in my mind he wants one, he just doesn't like the fact that Cancer stole one of his testicles and flipped our world upside down (this all happened in 2007; he's got less than like a 3% chance of it ever coming back). So talking about fertility (even the frozen sperm and where it's banked!) isn't as open as other areas of our life. Luckily we got pregnant right before the chemo started and I really am blessed with an amazing son who dominates my funny bone and tickles my heart. or is it dominates my heart and tickles my funny bone?

    I'm happy with the one we have most of the time, but I kinda want a girl. I was both a tomboy and a girly girl and would love to do dance recitals (and pageants; hehehehe) I do know that dh thinks that he won't love someone "else's" baby as much as he loves Jason, but sometimes (most of the time) I think he'd be a great dad no matter who's DNA was in the child.

    More of my crazy to come. Poor child just realized she was pregnant a few weeks ago and here I am taking it from her and raising it in my head nine months from now. But maybe there is a reason I'm not popping positive. Maybe missing a couple of months of trying due to Hawaii and Germany work trips were destined. Maybe it's part of a plan that I don't understand.

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    Community Host wlillie's Avatar
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    Forgot to mention I had MAJOR foot in the mouth disease and my MIL has not responded to my apology.

    My husband's nephew is a handful. He listens to his mother, but kinda ignores my MIL and FIL. We're going to Disney in Sept and they were all invited, but he's the only one able to go if school will let him. I had gotten used to the idea that he wasn't going and the reaction (very very very unfortunate reaction) that slipped out of my mouth was "Has he started listening to you guys yet?." He's a wonderful child, but I don't see how I would be able to keep my mouth shut for a whole week of eye-rolling and other behaviors I know damn well his mother wouldn't allow, but my MIL often doesn't even notice because she idolizes her grandkids (jason too, I know he's not perfect, but she thinks they all are).

    She explained that he really is a well-behaved child and thinks he'll do fine on the trip. I still have my reservations but honestly realize I had no right asking that and told her so in a text message. Two hours ago......


    eta-Also forgot to introduce myself. I'm Lillie-81, married to Michael-78, with a spawn named Jason- 5-6-08. We're both currently Active Duty Air Force Computer Programmers, so I'm not only a WOHM, but sooner or later I'll be a WOCM. I am whiny, judgemental, moderately intelligent, but also can be really generous and caring. My husband is fantastic and irritating, sexy and gross, smart and sooo soooo stupid, all wrapped up into one so we're a good match. DS is just fantastic. I'm still in awe three years after having him that God chose me to help raise him.

    I'm a living kidney donor-05 (day after hurricane Rita hit my hometown!!) for a co-workers wife at the time and dear friend now. I've worked over 20 jobs even with the 7 years in the AF and babysitting counting as one job for all the families! I struggle with my weight despite mostly eating healthy and mostly being very active. I have an extraordinary family and my friends are the best in the world (even the internet ones ). I'm Baptist, but still find myself questioning my faith on a regular basis. That aspect of my personality is like a freaking see-saw.

    I am strongly in support of gay marriage, but against the DADT being repealed before the gay marriage becomes legal. I think our government officials ALL need to read Dave Ramsey and I've never even cracked the book open. I think scary movies are horrible terrible things and hate that the commercials pop up for them all the time.

    I have a bachelor's degree that I'm not that proud of, but plan on one day (hopefully soon) getting an MBA from a prestigious school. Tulane has a program I'm interested in. I love school, but recently failed two classes online so think I need to go back to the more structured classroom setting. I was one of those students offered scholarships everywhere and made the Who's Who and all kinds of other lists in high school, so it's appalling that I'm 30 and my education is at a standstill.

    I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know it's not poor.
    Last edited by wlillie; 08-02-2011 at 10:39 PM.

  5. #5
    Community Host wlillie's Avatar
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    Wink

    Great day, but I should be in bed. MIL emailed me to tell me we're entitled to our own opinions. Now I really need a positive pregnancy test. Jason had his first t-ball practice, I bought him an itty bitty glove, work is fantastic as I'm staying busy but no overwhelmed, and Michael will be home from Germany in less than triple digit hours! Plus one of his co-workers is in Germany and his new wife needs me to watch her four year old on Friday and I'm hoping that she'll let me take both of them to the Children's museum. She did hesitate for a long time and never really answered. Oh well, if not, I'll break out the slip and slide and he's going to freak when he sees our backyard. He's such a cutie!

    Also, my Dad is on again for being sane. He's got medication prescribed by a therapist that he often "forgets" and we get terrible phone calls from him that my dh has honestly told me he thinks I shouldn't answer his number any more. I love him, but it was seriously tearing my marriage apart because I couldn't just hit that ignore button, because what if he really did hurt himself? So anyway, he called again to tell me on his open heart surgery from three months ago went well, but his legs are swelling. Probably from either the diabetes he doesn't take care of, or maybe the kidney stones he doesn't take care of, or maybe it's the heart medication from the heart attack he had 25 years ago. Who knows? I told him to drink more water and go walking.

    I kind of hate that he never ever asks how my husband or son are. It's so strange how detached he is from my child when everyone else flips out every time they get to see him. I wonder if that is genetic and I'll have to worry about it to? Probably not. I'll worry about it when dh has me committed.

  6. #6
    Community Host wlillie's Avatar
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    We had a good day. Didn't get to sleep in, but we did make it to the Children's Museum. Since we were in Mobile and they had a Babies R Us, I went ahead and registered for our next baby so I could get the free 10 gift certificate and I wanted to play with strollers. I also realized how much bigger the Britax 85 is than the Radian and am rethinking future car seat purchases I had planned. SO Crazy!!!! Dh wouldn't even be able to speak if I admitted this.

    He comes home from Germany and I have to say I'm ready. I can tell it really affected Jason a ton and it hurt his feelings a lot when Jason wouldn't talk to him on the computer. Plus I slipped and said something about Jason telling another kid his Daddy lived in Germany. Ouch. It's only been 2.5 weeks, but I know it drags when you're separated from your kid even if it's a really cool country you are in.

    Going to call the pregnant cousin as soon as I get to a quiet moment in my day where I won't slip up and say something offensive and can act surprised. Her older sister told her I'd be calling because I knew she needed support and the 17 year old isn't stupid, so I'm sure she knows I know, but Southern Manners dictate surprise. I'm going to talk to dh about adopting and see if he'd be OK with it this week. If he says yes and feels the same way AND we don't get pregnant this next month, I'm going to have to try to be subtle about letting her know that if she wants to give her up for adoption and she wants us to do it, we'll be here for her. AND that if she decides to keep it, that we will support her there too. Going to try to talk her into cloth diapering and she'll be the first to breastfeed in that family since my grandma 60 years ago if she'll accept my "help".

    If that's what happens, then three of my cousins will have used my "new" baby stuff before I do! Too funny since I bought most of it from Feb-Apr of this year.

  7. #7
    Community Host wlillie's Avatar
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    My husband is pissy right now. He comes home from Germany after 2.5 weeks, does about a quarter of what I do on a daily basis in 3 days, then proceeds to tell me he did 90% of his laundry, but he put some clothes in the basket. So I gave him a funny look and shrugged. He got mad. WTH do you say to a grown adult who expects props for washing laundry?

    The worst part? I wasn't even trying to be ugly, I just didn't know what to say to that statement. What would you have said? Mind you, I'm still jealous of the trip to Hawaii immediately followed by the trip to Germany. And I keep peeing on sticks and there aren't two lines, but my period was supposed to be Saturday. One of my IRL friends posted on my wall that I adopted twins. I haven't talked to anyone about my crazy thoughts about adopting and haven't even got up the balls to approach dh with it. He did have the guts to ask me to go back on my hormonal birth control if we don't conceive in the next few months. He says I'm nicer. No ****, sherlock. Hormones suck!

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    Men are kinda nuts like that... they need us wives to give 'em a gold star ego boost when they do stuff . My husband is definitely that way. So I humor him, and he's happy.
    Ryan and Rachael
    Parents to Chase, Abby, Hunter, Rachel, Caleb, Hannah & Nate

    ~Remembering sweet baby Oliver, born to Heaven October 20, 2009, & keeping Carole in our prayers~

  9. #9
    Community Host wlillie's Avatar
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    Ok. I thought hubby was going to do something as a big suprise this weekend but was told he's taking Jason to see the dolphins on Saturady. Coolio, I can clean out the attic, garage, and my closet of unneeded stuff and price it for a garage sale next weekend. I have warned hubby there are two lecture portions of seeing the dolphins and can't imagine the fight they'll have when dh realizes Jason does not like to sit still for 20 min of listening to people speak. Gotta make sure to get him to drink some milk before they go.

    We have someone at work who is out of shape. And not a little out of shape, a lot out of shape. Part of our job is to be in shape. Most of the people around me are tired of trying to help someone that refuses to do what he knows he needs to do, but I just can't give up on him. He likes the Air Force and he's good at the work portion of his day, but just won't eat right and does crappy with exercise so he's too large according to the standards. I'm going to try to help, but have no real filter, so it should be an interesting conversation. Getting a lot of new hats and only getting rid of one hat at work. Should be interesting and probably will lose all pregnancy.org time. That's OK, I like being busy, it makes time go by faster.

    Talked to dh about the adoption thing. Pregnant cousin didn't answer phone call or text message so I left a voicemail telling her that I'm here if she needs to talk. He told me that he thinks it will be too complicated and thinks it'd be best if she raised the baby herself. But that if she did want to give him/her up that we'd talk about it more. So basically on hold unless she calls and asks us which is fine; I want to be here if she wants someone, but want her to enjoy motherhood as much as I do. Don't really know if she will at this age though.

    Jason is so freaking cute. Last night I was trying to pee in "his" bathroom and he came in more than half asleep and had me get up, peed (all over!!) and then went back to bed. All without really opening his eyes. Glad he got up, but I'm on my period so really glad he didn't really pay attention as I didn't have time to flush the toilet before he walked in. Can't wait for the days when I feel comfortable locking the door. Now I'm too scared that I'll need to run out and save him day and night.

    We also had our first real wee-ball practice. It was so freaking hot. But he got the hit, drop bat, run bases before anyone else and he's the youngest player, so I was oozing pride. I also had someone stop me in Monkey Joes to tell me that he was athletic on Tuesday. Kind of a weird moment, but saw them at practice Wednesday and realized that his kid is on the team too and he must have been at the practice I missed Monday due to cramps. His kid is freaking adorable (They're black and he has a mohawk and the biggest eyes I've ever seen) and they have a little baby girl too. Lots of babies at practice and two extra pregnant women running around after their pre-schoolers. Craziness!

    Working on vacations. We're supposed to go to North Carolina at the end of August and dh has been trying to get time off and it's not working out. We're attending a wedding though so somebody has to step up and figure something out. It's crazy that they can't get a schedule for two weeks away, but at that time we'll know his schedule for *all* of the next fiscal year. Hoping he gets Japan and gets Colorado Springs again and not too many classes here because they tend to take up a lot of time which means he gets a little more stressed trying to balance the other stuff he's supposed to do.

    I'm also planning on Disney in September and it's weird trying to get both sides of our families all on the same page; especially since I'm the only one who is a freak about scheduling. Everyone else is more laid back which may be more fun, but I know I'd be antsy the entire time and worried we'll miss out on something Jason (hehehe, I) would like to do. Also need to buy tickets and we have two loose cannons who can't committ one way or the other. I think it will all come together.

    I love my car. I found out last week that Honda Fit rear seats recline and have been enjoying the gas mileage this week. I've had it since last June and already have 23,000 miles on it. I guess we travel a lot. I was so aggravated on Tuesday though. The 11 year old next door sat in the middle and I didn't realize he was doing it and his lap belt needed to be connected. I have never wanted to shake someone else's kid so hard before and couldn't even yell or even fuss because poor kid didn't even realize how dangerous it was to just have the shoulder belt from the ceiling. Plus there is construction right from where we turned out of the parking lot so had to drive with him like that until the next place we could pull over.

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    Community Host wlillie's Avatar
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    Yeah! She sent me an ultrasound picture; that means she's not even thinking about aborting, right? Nothing about her future plans except she did drop out of high school and is taking classes to get her GED at the local community college. Those weren't her plans, she was supposed to get her GED this summer and start culinary school this semeseter. She's so smart, I can't believe she's making all of these stupid decisions. I guess you are only 17 once, right?

    I'm obsessing over double strollers. It's so much fun. Disney is stressing me out, but I've stopped answering phone calls from people trying to ask questions. They all have a word document with our schedule (including where we are leaving from and what time). I'm not hand-feeding anymore details. I love them, but I'm not changing anything. Now to get up the guts to tell them that. And find a rental car for my mom.

    Work is calling again.

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