Being a little crazy sucks

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wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796
Being a little crazy sucks

The neighbor across the street is fantastic. I'm not talking about in one area, I'm talking about all of them. She's super sweet, pretty but not breathtaking, crafty, organized, skinny, and has the patience I can only dream of. I'm sure her child doesn't eat fast food and doesn't watch TV while his mother has a pity party on the internet. She dresses very modestly and teaches Sunday school and volunteers in the community. She stays at home and is pregnant with their second boy. I want her life and to be more like her (without the modest dress). My life is pretty damn close to perfect so why can't I just be happy with what I have?

It's unfortunate that I got their good news on a day where I peed on three different strips hoping for a positive and was disappointed every single time.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

:bighug:

I hope you don't mind me commenting on your journal. But I wanted to say that no matter how "together" someone else may look on the outside, no one has a perfect life. I think you should stop thinking about how much you want to be like someone else, because I think that Lillie is pretty awesome all by herself.

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Awww Thanks. Oh yeah! Anyone can comment unless you have something offensive to say. Then please PM me so I can delete it after reading it. I don't mind honest feedback, just have a bit of a festering problem when it comes to negative things.

Ok. She's on vacation this week and I just got back from mine and her's is going to be much more stressful (14hrs driving with a two year old ;)) so I'm cool at the moment. Hoping to not catch too much PMS because despite peeing on 20something sticks in the last week and a half, there is always one line.

BUT, my cousin is pregnant and I'm not sure what's she is planning, but abortion isn't an option *at all* in our family. Right now she got kicked out of my cousin (her older sister)'s house and is living with my 85 year old grandmother. Said Grandmother has been told (by my mother) and I don't know what her reaction was because as my Mom was telling me this child (she's so immature!) is pregnant I got a headache and begged off the phone. What if she'd give it to me? She'd make a good mother once she realized how much it was going to take, but what if she decided to give the baby up for adoption? I would be the perfect person because she adores me, my family, my house and I would be perfectly happy with an open adoption with every other weekend visits (we live four hours apart and I'd have no problem with her staying with us).

I've been thinking about adopting ever since I found out the type of chemo dh had could cause fertility issues. He never wants to talk about anything and even getting him to discuss trying for this baby was like pulling teeth. However, there is no doubt in my mind he wants one, he just doesn't like the fact that Cancer stole one of his testicles and flipped our world upside down (this all happened in 2007; he's got less than like a 3% chance of it ever coming back). So talking about fertility (even the frozen sperm and where it's banked!) isn't as open as other areas of our life. Luckily we got pregnant right before the chemo started and I really am blessed with an amazing son who dominates my funny bone and tickles my heart. or is it dominates my heart and tickles my funny bone?

I'm happy with the one we have most of the time, but I kinda want a girl. I was both a tomboy and a girly girl and would love to do dance recitals (and pageants; hehehehe) I do know that dh thinks that he won't love someone "else's" baby as much as he loves Jason, but sometimes (most of the time) I think he'd be a great dad no matter who's DNA was in the child.

More of my crazy to come. Poor child just realized she was pregnant a few weeks ago and here I am taking it from her and raising it in my head nine months from now. But maybe there is a reason I'm not popping positive. Maybe missing a couple of months of trying due to Hawaii and Germany :rolleyes: work trips were destined. Maybe it's part of a plan that I don't understand.

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Forgot to mention I had MAJOR foot in the mouth disease and my MIL has not responded to my apology.

My husband's nephew is a handful. He listens to his mother, but kinda ignores my MIL and FIL. We're going to Disney in Sept and they were all invited, but he's the only one able to go if school will let him. I had gotten used to the idea that he wasn't going and the reaction (very very very unfortunate reaction) that slipped out of my mouth was "Has he started listening to you guys yet?." He's a wonderful child, but I don't see how I would be able to keep my mouth shut for a whole week of eye-rolling and other behaviors I know damn well his mother wouldn't allow, but my MIL often doesn't even notice because she idolizes her grandkids (jason too, I know he's not perfect, but she thinks they all are).

She explained that he really is a well-behaved child and thinks he'll do fine on the trip. I still have my reservations but honestly realize I had no right asking that and told her so in a text message. Two hours ago......

eta-Also forgot to introduce myself. I'm Lillie-81, married to Michael-78, with a spawn named Jason- 5-6-08. We're both currently Active Duty Air Force Computer Programmers, so I'm not only a WOHM, but sooner or later I'll be a WOCM. I am whiny, judgemental, moderately intelligent, but also can be really generous and caring. My husband is fantastic and irritating, sexy and gross, smart and sooo soooo stupid, all wrapped up into one so we're a good match. DS is just fantastic. I'm still in awe three years after having him that God chose me to help raise him.

I'm a living kidney donor-05 (day after hurricane Rita hit my hometown!!) for a co-workers wife at the time and dear friend now. I've worked over 20 jobs even with the 7 years in the AF and babysitting counting as one job for all the families! I struggle with my weight despite mostly eating healthy and mostly being very active. I have an extraordinary family and my friends are the best in the world (even the internet ones ;)). I'm Baptist, but still find myself questioning my faith on a regular basis. That aspect of my personality is like a freaking see-saw.

I am strongly in support of gay marriage, but against the DADT being repealed before the gay marriage becomes legal. I think our government officials ALL need to read Dave Ramsey and I've never even cracked the book open. I think scary movies are horrible terrible things and hate that the commercials pop up for them all the time.

I have a bachelor's degree that I'm not that proud of, but plan on one day (hopefully soon) getting an MBA from a prestigious school. Tulane has a program I'm interested in. I love school, but recently failed two classes online so think I need to go back to the more structured classroom setting. I was one of those students offered scholarships everywhere and made the Who's Who and all kinds of other lists in high school, so it's appalling that I'm 30 and my education is at a standstill.

I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know it's not poor. Smile

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Great day, but I should be in bed. MIL emailed me to tell me we're entitled to our own opinions. Now I really need a positive pregnancy test. Wink Jason had his first t-ball practice, I bought him an itty bitty glove, work is fantastic as I'm staying busy but no overwhelmed, and Michael will be home from Germany in less than triple digit hours! Plus one of his co-workers is in Germany and his new wife needs me to watch her four year old on Friday and I'm hoping that she'll let me take both of them to the Children's museum. She did hesitate for a long time and never really answered. Oh well, if not, I'll break out the slip and slide and he's going to freak when he sees our backyard. He's such a cutie!

Also, my Dad is on again for being sane. He's got medication prescribed by a therapist that he often "forgets" and we get terrible phone calls from him that my dh has honestly told me he thinks I shouldn't answer his number any more. I love him, but it was seriously tearing my marriage apart because I couldn't just hit that ignore button, because what if he really did hurt himself? So anyway, he called again to tell me on his open heart surgery from three months ago went well, but his legs are swelling. Probably from either the diabetes he doesn't take care of, or maybe the kidney stones he doesn't take care of, or maybe it's the heart medication from the heart attack he had 25 years ago. Who knows? I told him to drink more water and go walking.

I kind of hate that he never ever asks how my husband or son are. It's so strange how detached he is from my child when everyone else flips out every time they get to see him. I wonder if that is genetic and I'll have to worry about it to? Probably not. I'll worry about it when dh has me committed. Smile

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

We had a good day. Didn't get to sleep in, but we did make it to the Children's Museum. Since we were in Mobile and they had a Babies R Us, I went ahead and registered for our next baby so I could get the free 10 gift certificate and I wanted to play with strollers. I also realized how much bigger the Britax 85 is than the Radian and am rethinking future car seat purchases I had planned. SO Crazy!!!! Dh wouldn't even be able to speak if I admitted this. Smile

He comes home from Germany and I have to say I'm ready. I can tell it really affected Jason a ton and it hurt his feelings a lot when Jason wouldn't talk to him on the computer. Plus I slipped and said something about Jason telling another kid his Daddy lived in Germany. Ouch. It's only been 2.5 weeks, but I know it drags when you're separated from your kid even if it's a really cool country you are in.

Going to call the pregnant cousin as soon as I get to a quiet moment in my day where I won't slip up and say something offensive and can act surprised. Her older sister told her I'd be calling because I knew she needed support and the 17 year old isn't stupid, so I'm sure she knows I know, but Southern Manners dictate surprise. I'm going to talk to dh about adopting and see if he'd be OK with it this week. If he says yes and feels the same way AND we don't get pregnant this next month, I'm going to have to try to be subtle about letting her know that if she wants to give her up for adoption and she wants us to do it, we'll be here for her. AND that if she decides to keep it, that we will support her there too. Going to try to talk her into cloth diapering and she'll be the first to breastfeed in that family since my grandma 60 years ago if she'll accept my "help".

If that's what happens, then three of my cousins will have used my "new" baby stuff before I do! Too funny since I bought most of it from Feb-Apr of this year.

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

My husband is pissy right now. He comes home from Germany after 2.5 weeks, does about a quarter of what I do on a daily basis in 3 days, then proceeds to tell me he did 90% of his laundry, but he put some clothes in the basket. So I gave him a funny look and shrugged. He got mad. WTH do you say to a grown adult who expects props for washing laundry? :eek:

The worst part? I wasn't even trying to be ugly, I just didn't know what to say to that statement. What would you have said? Mind you, I'm still jealous of the trip to Hawaii immediately followed by the trip to Germany. And I keep peeing on sticks and there aren't two lines, but my period was supposed to be Saturday. One of my IRL friends posted on my wall that I adopted twins. I haven't talked to anyone about my crazy thoughts about adopting and haven't even got up the balls to approach dh with it. He did have the guts to ask me to go back on my hormonal birth control if we don't conceive in the next few months. He says I'm nicer. Biggrin No ****, sherlock. Hormones suck!

Joined: 09/29/05
Posts: 826

Men are kinda nuts like that... they need us wives to give 'em a gold star ego boost when they do stuff ;). My husband is definitely that way. So I humor him, and he's happy.

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Ok. I thought hubby was going to do something as a big suprise this weekend but was told he's taking Jason to see the dolphins on Saturady. Coolio, I can clean out the attic, garage, and my closet of unneeded stuff and price it for a garage sale next weekend. I have warned hubby there are two lecture portions of seeing the dolphins and can't imagine the fight they'll have when dh realizes Jason does not like to sit still for 20 min of listening to people speak. Gotta make sure to get him to drink some milk before they go.

We have someone at work who is out of shape. And not a little out of shape, a lot out of shape. Part of our job is to be in shape. Most of the people around me are tired of trying to help someone that refuses to do what he knows he needs to do, but I just can't give up on him. He likes the Air Force and he's good at the work portion of his day, but just won't eat right and does crappy with exercise so he's too large according to the standards. I'm going to try to help, but have no real filter, so it should be an interesting conversation. Getting a lot of new hats and only getting rid of one hat at work. Should be interesting and probably will lose all pregnancy.org time. That's OK, I like being busy, it makes time go by faster. Smile

Talked to dh about the adoption thing. Pregnant cousin didn't answer phone call or text message so I left a voicemail telling her that I'm here if she needs to talk. He told me that he thinks it will be too complicated and thinks it'd be best if she raised the baby herself. But that if she did want to give him/her up that we'd talk about it more. So basically on hold unless she calls and asks us which is fine; I want to be here if she wants someone, but want her to enjoy motherhood as much as I do. Don't really know if she will at this age though.

Jason is so freaking cute. Last night I was trying to pee in "his" bathroom and he came in more than half asleep and had me get up, peed (all over!!) and then went back to bed. All without really opening his eyes. Glad he got up, but I'm on my period so really glad he didn't really pay attention as I didn't have time to flush the toilet before he walked in. Can't wait for the days when I feel comfortable locking the door. Now I'm too scared that I'll need to run out and save him day and night.

We also had our first real wee-ball practice. It was so freaking hot. But he got the hit, drop bat, run bases before anyone else and he's the youngest player, so I was oozing pride. I also had someone stop me in Monkey Joes to tell me that he was athletic on Tuesday. Kind of a weird moment, but saw them at practice Wednesday and realized that his kid is on the team too and he must have been at the practice I missed Monday due to cramps. His kid is freaking adorable (They're black and he has a mohawk and the biggest eyes I've ever seen) and they have a little baby girl too. Lots of babies at practice and two extra pregnant women running around after their pre-schoolers. Craziness!

Working on vacations. We're supposed to go to North Carolina at the end of August and dh has been trying to get time off and it's not working out. We're attending a wedding though so somebody has to step up and figure something out. It's crazy that they can't get a schedule for two weeks away, but at that time we'll know his schedule for *all* of the next fiscal year. Hoping he gets Japan and gets Colorado Springs again and not too many classes here because they tend to take up a lot of time which means he gets a little more stressed trying to balance the other stuff he's supposed to do.

I'm also planning on Disney in September and it's weird trying to get both sides of our families all on the same page; especially since I'm the only one who is a freak about scheduling. Everyone else is more laid back which may be more fun, but I know I'd be antsy the entire time and worried we'll miss out on something Jason (hehehe, I) would like to do. Also need to buy tickets and we have two loose cannons who can't committ one way or the other. I think it will all come together.

I love my car. I found out last week that Honda Fit rear seats recline and have been enjoying the gas mileage this week. I've had it since last June and already have 23,000 miles on it. :eek: I guess we travel a lot. I was so aggravated on Tuesday though. The 11 year old next door sat in the middle and I didn't realize he was doing it and his lap belt needed to be connected. I have never wanted to shake someone else's kid so hard before and couldn't even yell or even fuss because poor kid didn't even realize how dangerous it was to just have the shoulder belt from the ceiling. Plus there is construction right from where we turned out of the parking lot so had to drive with him like that until the next place we could pull over. :eek:

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Yeah! She sent me an ultrasound picture; that means she's not even thinking about aborting, right? Nothing about her future plans except she did drop out of high school and is taking classes to get her GED at the local community college. Those weren't her plans, she was supposed to get her GED this summer and start culinary school this semeseter. :rolleyes: She's so smart, I can't believe she's making all of these stupid decisions. I guess you are only 17 once, right?

I'm obsessing over double strollers. It's so much fun. Biggrin Disney is stressing me out, but I've stopped answering phone calls from people trying to ask questions. They all have a word document with our schedule (including where we are leaving from and what time). I'm not hand-feeding anymore details. I love them, but I'm not changing anything. Now to get up the guts to tell them that. And find a rental car for my mom.

Work is calling again.

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

We're in North Carolina this week. This area wasn't affected by the hurricane but my prayers are out there for those who were. I love it here. I forget every single time we go home how nice it is to be here. My MIL spoils us rotten, they have an in-ground pool in the backyard (beautiful gardens surrounding it too!), and the weather is lovely. Plus there are things I don't enjoy doing that I used to feel pressured into and now that I've produced offspring for the family, I feel comfortable saying no. Which leads me to my favorite part.

The Hammock. This thing is in the best spot in the world. I can smell the flowers, hear the trickling of the pool and the birds/butterflies/nature, I can see nothing but green fields beyond the gardens (yes, there are like at least 7 different areas), I can read or sleep or rock my baby or cuddle with my husband. I love that thing. It's also directly under a tree that just reeks of the past.

We got to see our nephews. They have so much energy and it's hard to keep up with them. My SIL is really pregnant and I can't imagine chasing after either one of them by themselves, but at 7 and 2 it really does seem impossible that she works a full-time job and is married to a cop who is often not home when they get home. It always amazes me to see how people adapt to their lives.

Jason is asking about driving a tractor up the tallest mountain he's ever seen, so I'll be back later.

eta-yep. MIL took him up the big hill going to her mom's old house. TERRIFYING. but they came back safe and he's asleep in bed. Where I'll be in the next few minutes. Though not with him. Somehow I got stuck with him last night and I have to say I'll fight tooth and nail if someone else suggest sleeping with him. Someone needs to cut that boy's toenails!

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Two pink lines. Biggrin And the weather is terrible. We were supposed to go see Dora and Diego at the waterpark and then go shopping today.:( Going to unpack from North Carolina and not even bother putting the bags up; I'll just start packing for Disney now. Biggrin

eta-second line disappeared today. How freaking weird and aggravating.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Have you tested again? I'm on the edge of my seat over here!!!

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Yeah. No line again. I don't know why it's like that. Same brand. Going to keep peeing on sticks. I know I didn't imagine it, because it's still there. like less than two shades different than the control.

Took Jason to the waterpark. Yep. I'm *that* Mom. We are in the middle of a tropical storm and for the half hour that it wasn't raining, my kid went down the lazy river, the slide, and swimming with me. It was freaking fantastic. No one else was there for the Diego and Dora characters except a couple of toddlers that freaked out and wouldn't go near them, so Jason got to play with Map and hugged the bigger characters a ton. No lines, no brats.

Then he reminded me of how much he loves his Dad over and over again as soon as he woke up from his nap. It's insane that I'm jealous of their relationship, but sometimes, I wish dh would go on another TDY so that Jason and I could have some more time together. Next year I'm just getting the waterpark pass for us two again. Wink Dh can keep the movie theater and popcorn, I have sea lions and dora and diego. Blum 3

Got a facebook request from one of Michael's co-workers wives. She wants help getting back in shape. So if I don't get two pink lines tomorrow, I'll be running at 7am like a monster is chasing me. Jason loves going fast in the jogging stroller and I need to lose some weight. I'll also start the south beach diet again. For like the millionth time. Fried food always gets me.

I'll also be able to ride the rides at Disneyworld. So get in shape and lose some weight and not be pregnant for our trip or not be hugely pregnant in the Mississippi summer. I'm honestly hoping for fat and watching others ride. It's freaking hot and our uniforms are like wearing a character costume.

eta-
That ***** is here today. I guess I get to ride the rides.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Lillie, sorry that this isn't your month after all. How disappointing! But yay for water parks and Disneyworld....

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Thanks. I am kind of excited about Disney a smigeon more since I'll be able to ride the rides so I'm going to try to look on the positive side. (pun intended)

Ok. Jason's Wee=Ball pictures came in today and there is literally nothing cuter than these pictures. Adorable.

Work is insane. Four guys are leaving so my workload has doubled and that's just the civilian side; military members are deploying left and right too so I can't imagine how I'm going to be able to keep up. Trying to get some lazy and vacation time in because after the first of the year, I probably won't be able to. Which is nice, I like being busy; it makes the work day go faster.

My mom is taking Jason back to La. with her tomorrow until Sunday morning. We're going to the LSU game and letting him do that meant my sister let my niece go to Disney with us (she has a wedding the first day we're going and was insisting it was a once in a life-time opportunity for my niece to go :rolleyes:). I'm scared. He's stayed in our house with my sister for that long while we went on a cruise, but he's literally never stayed the night somewhere else without us. I'm sure he'll do fine, but this Mom is stressing.

But I really want to spend some time with dh before our life gets too hectic again. We're going on a dinner cruise on Friday night (groupon!), horseback riding Saturday morning (groupon!), tailgaiting with my bestie and her new beau (who I've yet to meet!) for the LSU (her)/Northwestern (me) game and spending the night in a crap hotel and going swimming with them the next morning. Hoping to get to BabiesRus and trade in for a Nautilus as Jason has outgrown his convertible. Wish I could talk dh into another Radian or a Britax 85, but can't shell out the money by myself again since I bought the last one. :mad:

It's amazing to me that we are more than halfway done paying off our house, both our cars are paid for, and we are still able to live like we do on the double military income. I love all the discounts. AND yesterday I got told by a creepy old guy that I looked hot in my uniform. Which I said thank you to and gave him a cheesy grin. Happy mood til my husband pointed out creepy guy probably was commenting on the fact that the humidity and heat heat had frizzed my hair out and my face was shiny making me look "hot". Pink cheeks of shame over here. AND we were walking out of Wal-Mart and a creepy lady said "God Bless You" and I said thank you and gave her a cheesy grin. Especially heartwarming since I was freaked out about the I-hop thing.

My life is good.

AND WOW! I didn't realize how much better keeping a journal could make you feel. I should have been doing this the last 20 years. :eek:

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

*not going to the desert as of right now, but probably will be retasked.

Going to the desert for 6 months starting in December. Can't get more specific from that. My supervisor knows we are trying for a baby and gently reminded me that if I wait much longer that it will mean someone else will have to go on short notice. Yuckers. I think I've decided to try this month and go on birth control if it doesnt' work out. Ovulating today so should be soon enough that if I do get pregnant to find someone else. Hardest decision of my life because I really feel like I shouldn't even try this last time and dh wants to keep trying right up until which really shocked me. I thought he'd say we'd wait, but he wants a baby pretty bad too. Someone thought it would be funny to ask me if they have shopping malls there. ****ing asshole has never deployed and probably won't.

AND one of my best friends Dad has been dying (request for prayers are always about him) and he's decided he's done. Two weeks in the hospital to prepare him for the trip from NM to LA and they say he'll live for less than two or three days once he gets to my friend's house. She was raised in it and that's where he enjoyed the best years of his life, so that's where he wants to die. I can't express how sad it is that this man is leaving this Earth. He is really such an amazing person. She wants my mom to make a lasagna for him, I can't imagine how much that will mean to her.

She received her news at the exact same time I recieved mine yesterday. I'm not telling anyone **** until November and only then so they can plan Christmas without me.

Craziness.

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Had a super busy week in Florida doing all kinds of fun stuff. Gotta love military discounts. We spent about 360 a person without food and that included four days at disney, two days at sea world, a pirate dinner theatre thing, AND lodging with no more than 2 people in a room with a full kitchen, laundry room, two heated pools, a hot tub and basketball/tennis courts. Biggrin

Family got a little overwhelming, but we still had a blast. Michael wanted to go again, but I got a call on Thursday. Guess I'm deploying in January, but not to the desert. Gotta call to get on birth control if I"m not pregnant this week. I really want the Mirena, but can't see wasting the cost of it for less than a year's worth of use and Depo would be fantastic, but again, I'd need less than a year's worth of use. I need hormonal so I can lose some weight though. I can't believe how freaking fat I've gotten. Start a diet as soon as my period starts and exercising like a madwoman is the plan.

Jason had so much fun, he continues to ask to go to Disney World every few hours. It breaks my heart to have to tell him no. We'll be going back to Orlando sometime next year though and I'm hoping Universal Studios is as amazing as Disney (and that dh will cave and let me go back to Disney too).

My house is mostly clean and I plan on having my garage sale on Friday. Think I have to purge at least two toy boxes full of things out of Jason's room. The garage and attic are at full capacity and I want some extra cash for a new patio cover.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Lillie - I'm sorry that you're getting deployed - I can't imagine how stressful that will be, but I'm glad to hear that you're not going to the desert (I hope wherever you're going will be really nice and pleasant - don't they have some sort of base in HI? Fingers crossed for that. Lol Glad that you had so much fun in FL! I want to take T to Disneyland in the next couple of years - I think that would be a blast!

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Ok. It sucks that I'm leaving my kid (and even my husband) for six months, but you know what? It's my time. I know it's my time just like I knew the kidney thing was my time. And the deployment really isn't going to be that bad. I get a four day pass to Florida in the middle of it, a rental car to get to work, there is a beach on the base and I'm going to get to see all kinds of stuff people without my clearance don't (which is awesome since about three weeks of my life was spent on getting that damn thing taken care of and so far it's been useless). I'll have access to the internet and 40 hour weeks (which I don't even have now!!!!). And my son is old enough to skype and is actually a little pro at it since Dh's TDY's to Germany and Hawaii. It is *not* someplace I'd feel comfortable with him visiting (like Tampa!! and Bahrain!!!), but I know it will all work out somehow.

HOWEVER, dh lost a three week trip to Japan in May because he told his boss about the deployment AND I have to take my physical fitness test in December instead of in May. Which means getting back into shape instead of getting that big ole belly I wanted. AND I wanted to buy a new combination seat for Jason but it doesn't make sense since only one of us will be driving him from Dec until next Jun and the newest ones come out in December. Sad

Still stuck on the birth control. I haven't tried the pill in over 10 years so wondering if it will be as effective at controlling my moods as depo? Anyone have any advice?

Alissa- I totally recommend doing it before he gets to the "I don't care" on the outside stage. I love my Godbabies, but it's really disappointing to see them shrug their shoulders when you are a million times happier than they are. Much more fun to hear my three year old squeal like a mouse in a cheese factory.

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Ok. Definitely pregnant. Quit smoking immediately (I started up when I got all negatives last week and was stressed at work). Called hubby, have to tell parents and work.

I have to work on some assault charges. My sister picked an argument with me on Sunday and pissed me off by knocking my niece over and instead of apologizing to her, she kept yelling at me. My mom is talking about getting her committed, but we're worried that the state will take her daughter away; she's that insane lately. So she walked out of the door and I was yelling at her to apologize to her daughter (she'd knocked her over twice since the original incident) and she slammed the door on me which made me trip and fall down the stairs. So I pulled her hair and told her she needed to apologize to her daughter again. She screamed no and left without her car. I told her that she wasn't driving my niece anywhere and since she lives down the road, both Mom and I figured the walk would help her cool off. She called the cops I guess and some guy who didn't look old enough to shave had to sit there and listen to her rant and rave and take down the pressing charges thing for her. When I was telling the story, he asked if I wanted to press charges and I told him no. I know I shouldn't have pulled her hair, but I was so mad about the child and then the stairs that I lost it for a minute. I'll take my knocks.

I felt like white trash. Plus I am worried about my security clearance. Plus I haven't told Michael because I'm worried he won't forgive her which I've already done because I know she's crazy and just needs help. What do you do in a situation like that? She's literally crazy, but my niece's Dad is a loser when it comes to parenting and I know Louisiana has a very backwards way of doing custody issues to begin with. My niece is really sweet and you can see how she reacts to her mom is not normal. It's almost like she's scared of her. I threatened to call CPS if she didn't clean her house, but she didn't and I really don't want to make that call. I just feel terrible about my niece.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

OMG Lillie!!!!! Congrats!!!! I am so happy for you!!!! Yahoo When is your EDD?

PS - Sorry that your sister is in such a tough place. I hope that you are able to get her the help she needs, and that in the meantime her daughter is able to go somewhere safe.

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Thanks. Ok. The base wouldn't give me a blood pregnancy test and the pee one (after an entire morning of drinking lots of water) came back negative. Both me and Michael are freaked out, but my period is very rarely late, I'm nauseous and I did get three positive tests. So what gives with their test? They took blood this morning. If it comes back negative, I'm going to be so upset and feel like I really am losing it. I need a real vacation and Cuba is starting to look real relaxing. :eek: I sure would miss Jason.

I hate waiting.

I am 100% pregnant! Monday, June 11, 2012 is what I'm guessing.

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Has anyone ever screwed up something really big at work? I hadn't until this past month. I ordered 25 desks and only one of those is going to look right because I didn't notice the shelf and the hutch aren't the same height and a few other minor details that totally deflated my pride. Yuckers. 26,000 and I couldn't get it quite right. No one seems extremely angry, but there is a definite feeling of disappointment everywhere.

And I'm supposed to be planning our holiday party and the guys who said they didn't want to do it (:rolleyes:) have kind of taken over. I stood firm about a few things in the planning meeting today, but it felt awkward and since I'm overwhelmed anyway, I might let them have it back as long as they don't try to pull plastic tableware or some other crazy crap. I already let them pick a grocery store (local community) as our caterer.

Ds is playing PS3 move. I can't believe I'm letting dh corrupt our poor innocent child like this. But he loves it and it's just capturing sock monkeys. But that's what I said about Blue's Clues for TV, a sip of sweat tea, and a lollipop for a treat and they all turned into often instead of occasional treats. Biggrin I guess as long as he's a good and healthy kid I should just be happy they have so much fun together.

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Worst friend ever. I love my best friend; she's been there forever. The last few years she's been slipping away and with all the excitement of Jason I kind of let it happen. We still talk and see each other when we can, but I don't hear from her for the little things I used to. I went to help her family when her Dad died the weekend before I found out I was pregnant and when I was leaving I told her to call me when she was ready to talk. I should have called her and checked on her instead of just texting. Anyway, she said she might come visit and I'm excited about it. It'd be nice for us to have some time together and her kids are real sweethearts as is her husband.

I'm excited about Halloween stuff this weekend. My house looks so cute on the outside with a cat and smiley face carving, little yard signs in the walkway (ghost, bat, and pumpkin) and a flag that matches the signs perfect. Makes me smile just thinking about it. Jason was Spiderman last time he dressed up and said he was going to be Buzz lightyear this time, but I'm going to try to talk him into being a knight cause that play costume is so cute and I thought I could bring a stick horse with us and a sword Michael got in Germany for him. The thought of the food cooking is making me a little nauseous though. Our base really does holiday's up big and Jason will probably get a toy, supper, and enough candy to make any kid happy.

We went to a Latin festival the week before last and the Renaissance festival last weekend and they were both fun, but a little underwhelming with the things to do. Next weekend we're going on a boat/dinner cruise and my brother is stopping on his way to Florida to babysit. He just quit his job (again!!!) to go work on yachts. He's been obsessing about the gym lately so I'm hoping he's happy doing manual labor. My other brother got to see how my sister is treating his home this past weekend. I'm sure he's not happy because the deal was she kept it clean and took care of it and could live there rent free. He also pays the electric, water, and cable for her so I'm sure it was disappointing to surprise her and see how it's really being treated.

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

soooo. Taking down Thanksgiving and putting up Christmas. Time is going too fast. We've slowed down on trips and vacations this month and looks like we only have two small ones for December. Think we're going back to Orlando in January as our Christmas presents to each other. Universal Studios is our target this time. We won't be going back to Disney because I can't ride the rides.

All my gifts are bought and wrapped (reusable Kohl's bags from clearance last year) except my husband's nephew. His mother already bought him a ripstick so I need to think of something else. I love Christmas but wish that it was acceptable to get big kids gift cards. Like anyone over the age of 5. Little kids are easier to shop for. Except Jason. My MIL *needs* to spend between 150 and 200 and is asking for ideals. Dh shot down my trampoline idea and laughed at her Nintendo Ds idea, so it's on him now. He better freaking come up with something because I thought the trampoline was adorable. Though MIL said she wanted to buy him a big kid one and that won't fly.

Got the Kindle Fire in this week. It's so cool! We don't often buy new technology so it's really exciting when we do. This will be perfect for the road trips for Jason and me and dh.

Break is over. Off to find the ornaments from last year since dh says we don't need new ones. :rolleyes:

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Sister has been fine for a while now (pretty much since the crazy post above). Mom has been all over her like white on rice and my brother surprised her with a visit so the house is clean and good to go now. However, I got a phone call this morning that aggravated me to no end at first. She's pregnant. She'd been dating a lawyer with a substance abuse issue that was supposed to be under control, but still worried me. I hadn't talked to her in a while though and she went on to tell me it's her ex-fiance's and he and his family are thrilled. (go figure, they find out before us!). Sigh of relief. I really like this guy and though he's a bit of a partier (alcohol) I think he'll grow up now that he's going to be a parent.

Speaking of being a parent. My child refuses to go straight to bed and I lost it tonight. I slammed the door. I did not yell, didn't seem angry after getting that childish action out of the way, but I did slam the door. He wanted me to know he found a note (tag on his comforter) and wanted me to read it. I proceeded to rip it out and calmly told him that it was unacceptable to not close his eyes when it's time to go to bed and that I loved him. Then got pissy because dh had come in behind me (probably to make sure I hadn't gone nuts) and told my son we weren't mad at him. Speak for yourself. :violent2: I told Jason Mom was angry that he wasn't going to sleep and I didn't want to hear from him unless he had to potty. Going to go in and give him a kiss as soon as I'm done typing. I really do think he's so cute when he's sleeping...Mother of the year over here.

Work is overwhelming. Usually during the holidays military things slow down a bit because you never know who's taking vacation that may be vital to the process you are working on. Not this December. Lost our secretary and guess who they picked to fill the slot despite me having almost everything else not to do with coding? Me! And they want me to test some new systems someone else finished last week. (thanks @hole for waiting until now). On top of having a lot of work that I just don't feel like doing because it's wet and cold and my bed is so very comfortable. However, I did run a mile on Monday and while that doesn't sound impressive, I was happy with it. Biggrin

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Christmas is over. Halfway through putting everything back in the boxes to go in the attic. Tomorrow I have to work, but when I get home, we'll go through Jason's old toys and box them up too for the next kid; 1 in, 1 out. And I need to go to Wal-Mart and see how much of this stuff can be returned. We got way too much and so did everybody else. Jason is in love with his legos (1600 pieces!) and his Mater Trouble game which I wanted to teach him how to play, but sounds like dh beat me to it. My family is so stressful so I can't wait for our trip to North Carolina to see Michael's. Wish we were flying, but a 10 hour drive isn't that bad and Jason is doing great with the Kindle Fire and I've quit bringing movies. We'll see how it works out.

I have so much to do and no motivation to do it. My floors *have* to get cleaned before we leave and I need to unpack Louisiana clothes and repack NC clothes. At least most of the laundry is done and since we haven't been grocery shopping lately, the fridge doesn't need to be cleaned out.

My life is really awesome, but I'm realizing it's not nearly as exciting as others. Smile I'll take boring any day.

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Ok. I really really really don't want to go back to work on Monday. i can't even enjoy this weekend just thinking about it. Just wanted to get that out.

Jason is a natural with soccer. So impressed with the random things he's good at. Like melting my heart right about the same time I wanna beat him. Not that I would, it's just an urge to overcome. Lot's easier when he looks at me with his now hazel eyes (4th color change since birth) and tells me he loves me.