I guess I have a little to catch up on. Tuesday night Bryan finally got home from work at 9:30 pm. Yeah, that was his "early night" to spend with his family. Gabriella was in bed by 8:00. I guess he forgets that some of his family has early bed time. Justin waited up for him. He always does. As soon as Bryan came in he went upstairs and got showered, then had nerve to ask me what's for dinner. I told him to have fun making himself something. If he's not going to come home for dinner, I'm not going to fix him dinner. Period. I'm not his mother. He took his shower and as soon as he came down I went upstairs. I took a long hot shower and then I climbed into bed and went to sleep. I have no idea what time Justin and Bryan went to sleep. And quite frankly, I don't care. Bryan's a big boy. He can handle it.
Yesterday was a crazy day. Gabriella had her well baby check up. She weighs 23 1/2 pounds and was 30 1/2 inches tall. She's in the 55th percentile for her weight and the 45th percentile for her height. She has a big noggin. I forget what her head measured, but it was in the 95th percentile! But her head was always like that. It's very consistant. My kids always have big heads. They get that from their father.
The doc said she's doing great developmentally when it comes to her walking and running and climbing. She's doing great with her gross and fine motor skills. His only concern is her language development. She can only say two words (dada and hi) but she's supposed to say three words by this age (dada, mama, and one other word). He wanted to refer me to early intervention, but I had to remind him that Gabriella was a 32 week preemie so technically she is not 16 months old she is only 14 months old. He agreed that with that in mind she is not behind. He wants to give her two more months to see if she picks up any more words. If she doesn't then he will send us to early intervention. If she picks up another word in that time frame then she'll be right on track. I'm not worried at all. Justin was born at full term, and he only said dada and nana (for bananas) until he was 23 months old! The he FINALLY said mama. Soon after that he said pop-pop and then Shell-Shell (for his Aunt Michele). A few months went by before he picked up any more words and now we can't get him to shut up. So I'm not worried at all. My kids are just slow talkers.
Gabriella also got her measles vaccine yesterday. Now we have to change plans for the next 6 weeks because my Aunt is undergoing chemotherapy and we have been told to keep Gab away from my Aunt for the next 6 weeks. My Aunt's life has already been turned upside down with breast cancer, chemotherapy, losing her hair, and the other side effects of the chemo. The last thing I want for her is to have to skip family functions, holidays and special get togethers now because of this. So for Mother's Day Bryan will stay home with Gabriella and Justin and I will go to my dad's house for dinner with all of my Aunts, my grandmom, my cousins, my parents, my sisters and all of their families. Bryan will take Gabriella and go see his mom and dad. At least I won't have to see them. I'm still pissed that man took my coupon for my free milk!
Hopefully I will be feeling better by Sunday too. The kids have had colds the past few days and now today I'm getting it. It was only a matter of time. All I do is wipe their snotty noses. I knew it was going to happen. I hate having cold. But compared to what my Aunt is going through, I shouldn't complain.
Married to Bryan, 10/02/99
Justin Matthew, 12/18/01
Gabriella Rose, 1/7/04
My Mother's Day wish:
I don't need material things to make me happy. I've been getting by just fine without them. I never have needed any of that stuff. I'm a very simple person. I always have been. All I want is to be recognized for the hard work that I do as a stay at home mom, and appreciated for all of the hard work that I do. My job never ends. I can't leave the stress at the office like I use to be able to do when I was a Corporate Recruiter. I work morning, noon and night. I take care of my kids, my home, and my husband. I am the last person to be taken care of. I am the last one to eat dinner. I am the last one to go to bed at night. I am the first one to wake up in the morning. When we are running low on food (Bryan doesn't even know this) I'm the one who skips breakfast and lunch so that the rest of them can eat something. I'm so busy all day long I don't even get a shower every day, and when I do it's usually 11:30 pm when everyone else is sleeping. I am the one who gets up in the middle of the night when one of the kids need something. I'm the one who handles it all. And I am the one who also is the first to get insulted because I don't do things fast enough, good enough, or (according to my father in law) I'm not supportive enough to my husband. I don't believe any of that's true. And I don't believe my husband or my children feel any of that is true either. But still....I don't get appreciated or recognized for any of the work that I do. I don't make the money, therefore I have no value to this family. That's how they see me. Yet if I wasn't here they would be forking out big bucks to have the kids in day care and to have someone here cleaning the house and to have a personal chef cooking all of the meals and doing all of the shopping. Yet, I have no value. Yeah, okay.
So for this Mother's Day I want my husband to save his money (not that he would remember or even think to buy me anything anyway) and just tell me that he recognizes that I am an important person in this family. I want him to understand all that I do and appreciate all that I do. I want him to tell me this and mean it. It's a simple wish, and a cheap wish. I hope and pray that I get it. It would mean so much to me, and I think it would do my heart some good.
I think Mother's Day should come more then once a year. I can't believe my one and only day is over already. Bryan did remember me. He bought me a beautiful card (two actually) from him, and then one each from the kids. When the kids got up he got up with them and let me stay in bed and take my time getting up. Then he came upstairs with the kids to jump on the bed and see me and wish me a Happy Mother's Day. While they loved me all up, he cleaned the bathroom. It was wonderful! There is nothing better then the smell of clorox bleach. I loved it!!!! Then Bry and the kids went back downstairs and I took a nice long hot shower by myself in my nice clean bathroom....and I even had time to shave my legs. It was so wonderful. The small joys in life. When I was done in the shower I came out to find Bryan had made me breakfast and it was sitting on the bed waiting for me; scrambled eggs, toast, strawberries and a cup of coffee. Heavenly.
I must say he did a nice job making me feel good. Of course when I was done eating I had to do a few loads of laundry and then fold some clothes, but that's just because if I didn't do it right then it would be double the work today. So the four of us spent some time together in the morning up until about 1:30. Then me and Justin left for my dad's, Bryan and Gabriella stayed home. It sucked not being with them. It really sucks that Gabriella has to stay away from my Aunt for 6 weeks because of the immunization she just got and my Aunts chemo. My Aunt still felt really bad about it, but I tried to assure her that it was okay. Gabriella went down for a nap when we left and Bryan was able to get a shower. Then he was going to go visit his mother and the rest of his family. At least I didn't have to see them. I can't stand his parents.
My Aunt looked real good. She was wearing a cute little hat because all of her hair is just about gone. The chemo is really doing a number on her. But she doesn't look sick. Her coloring looks so good and she looks well. I told her next year we are all going to Walk for the Cure on Mother's Day, and then when we are done walking we'll go back to my mom and dads house for dinner. Cancer sucks. She has breast cancer. She was not able to feel it during a self examine. The only way this was found was with her yearly mamogram. Thank God she didn't skip it this year.
So anyway, Justin and I went to my mom and dads and Bryan and Gabby went to see his family. After my Aunt left Bryan and Gabby came over. Justin was a good boy all day. But at 6 pm he fell asleep. He was exhausted. When he woke up he threw such a tantrum. I have a very specific way of dealing with his tantrums. As long as he's screaming and crying and carrying on, he's not going to get his way. Period. And I won't talk to him when he's acting like that. He needs to take the time to calm down and then talk to me. So at home he takes the time he needs and gets it out of his system, shakes it off, calms down, and then comes and talks to me like a nice little boy. It works every time. His tantrums stop immediately. They don't go on for more then 2-3 minutes. It works for us. Well my mother thinks she knows better then me. She kept getting right in his face asking him what was wrong and asking him to talk to her. I kept telling her to back off of him because we don't talk to him while he's acting the way he was, when he calms down that's when we talk, and if she leaves him alone he'll calm down soon. She would not leave him alone, would not get out of his face, kept asking him what was wrong, telling him to talk to mom-mom, stop crying, blah blah blah. I told her over and over to knock it off and she was not listening to me at all. Total and complete disrespect. His tantrum went on for 30 minutes. Even my dad told her to shut up and leave him alone, and she wouldn't. I threw my hands up in the air and said I had enough, I just couldn't take it anymore. And she proceeded to tell me he was acting that way because his nose was bothering him. I told her I was pissed not at him but at her because she won't leave him alone. I don't blame him anymore. He needs space and she's not giving it to him. She was right in his face - get the frig away from him! So I told her the reason his nose is bohering him is because he's crying and the reason he's crying is because she's bothering him and she needs to back the hell off. She looked surprised that I said that to her. HELLO? I've been saying it for the past 30 minutes. So she asked Justin if he wanted her to leave him alone and he said YES. She finally left him alone and almost immediately his tantrum stopped and he calmed down.
I know what my son needs and I know how to handle him. Why does she think she knows better then me? She ruined my entire day with those 30 minutes of ignorance.
Oh, and earlier in the day we were talking about my husbands business and my dad has been helping him get organized. I said something like the next step is for my dad to come over and help me get back my dining room because Bryan built an office in the basement but since that got unorganized and out of control he moved everything he needs upstairs into my dining room. Now that room looks like the pits and it's the first room you see when you open my front door, so it's pretty embarrassing. He said he would come over and help him to organize all of it. Then Justin called me out of the room so I went to help him. When I came back a few seconds later I found my mom in there whispering to everyone (my Aunts, grandmom, cousins, dad). I asked her what she was whispering about and she just laughed and said nothing. Yeah right. So I started to get nasty and I asked her again and she continued to say nothing. Then my dad said we are just talking about your dining room. Yeah right. My mother tells everyone that I am a messy slob. I'm NOT, but she tells everyone that I am. I have two kids and they have a lot of toys. I pick the toys up every night and once during the day while they are napping, but for the most part, if you come over my house during the week in the middle of the day you are going to find tons of toys everywhere. That's what happens when you have kids. I have other chores to do. I can't just pick up toys all day. I have floors to sweep, dishes to do, toilets to scrub, counters to clean, laundry to do, clothes to fold, etc. My house is ALWAYS clean. The last time she was here and upstairs was in February when I was really sick. Yeah, there was lots of clothes everywhere but that's because I had been really sick and was unable to do anything. It was before she was helping me with the kids, my husband wasn't home. I could barely take care of the kids let alone do house work too. So yes, in February my house looked horrible, but I also had a horrible neurological disease which was rendering me virtually blind at the time and in the most pain I had ever experienced. Did she offer to help me at that point? No. Did she complain about and now does she tell everyone about it? Yes. If I were her I would be ashamed at myself. What kind of a mother would do that to her child. You know your child is in pain and can't even lift her head off the pillow let alone wash clothes and take care of the kids, yet you do nothing. She's disgraceful. And once the medication started working and I was able to take care of myself and the kids again, I worked my butt off to get caught up. I had no help from anyone. Not her, not Bryan, no one.
My mothers the lazy one. She's home all day long. She does watch my sisters kid, but she plops him in front of the TV. She doesn't interact with him. She has cleaning people that come to her house and clean for her. Yes, she's that lazy she won't even clean her own house! My dad does all of the cooking for holidays and special occassions. During the week she'll eat a bagel for dinner and my dad will make himself a salad for dinner. She doesn't even cook. And yet she complains about me and if something isn't perfect in my house. I have two kids whom I interact with and teach and play with. Plus I clean and straighten my entire house by myself with no help from anyone. Plus I cook my family 3 meals a day. Plus I get my kids their healthy snacks during the day. Plus I do this without my husband being around because he's gone from 5:30 am - 11:30 pm. I give them their baths by myself, I do all of the food shopping by myself (unlike my mom....my dad does the food shopping), I do everything. My husband goes to work and pays the bills. But I will soon be taking over that job too. As soon as he has some time to go over everything with me, I will be paying all of the bills. My dad works 5 days a week, and long days, plus he does everything at the house OR my mom has cleaning people to do it. All she does is sit around on the sofa playing her little hand held games while my sisters kid watches TV. Yet she insults me. Yeah, okay. That makes sense.
Why do people suck. Why do some people take great pleasure in making other people feel so bad about themselves? I have to say, she honestly ruined my Mother's Day. Bryan did good. The kids were good. Even dispite Justin's tantrum things would have been good had I had the chance to do things my way. But now, she had to butt in, insult me, do things her way, and ruin things for me. I'm just so disgusted.
I'm done with her. See if I call her again. I think not.
Every morning now Justin wakes up and wishes me a Happy Mother's Day. He's so sweet. Every day should be Mother's Day. God knows I devote my life to those kids. He's a good kid. Gabriella fell yesterday and bumped her chin. I tried to hug her and make her feel better but she didn't want me, she wanted Justin. She walked over to him and he gave her a great big hug and she put her head down on his chest and she just cried and cried. And he hugged her and told her it was okay and not to cry because he's here. How sweet is that! She looked up at him and he gave her a kiss on her ouchy chin, hugged her again and then wiped her tears. Then the two of them went off and played together. They are the sweetest kids a mom could ever hope for. They love each other so much. I can't believe she wanted to be comforted by her big brother, and my little 3 year old knew what she needed and just loved her. Bryan said it's because Justin sees how I am with both of them, so I guess I'm doing something right by my kids. I'm teaching them to be loving and compassionate. God, I really love those kids. They are good kids.
I haven't talked to my mom in 2 days, going on day 3. I'm okay with it. I need some space from her. I can't stand the way she tries to take over my role. She over steps her boundaries as mom-mom and tries to be the mom. I just can't have that anymore. And if I don't call her then she won't call me. That's the way it always works. Whatever. I'm far to busy with my life to worry about petty crap like that.
Bryan didn't get home from work until 9:30 last night. Last night was supposed to be his early night. His night to spend with his family. Since every other night he works from 5:30 am to 11:30 pm. So much for an early night. He actually had the nerve to ask where the baby was. HELLO? She goes to bed at 8:00, although last night she was in bed by 7:30. You want to see her, come home when you are supposed to be home on your EARLY NIGHT - 6:00!
I know he has to work hard and a lot of hours to provide for his family, especially now since money is pretty much non-existant. But to provide for your family is to do more then just provide monitarily. All he's doing is bringning home a little bit of money. He's not providing the love, comfort and emotional support that we need. But he doesn't see that, and he never will. He thinks all he needs to do is make the money and the little wife at home will do the rest. I am virtually a single parent. And when he does come home he falls right to sleep. I can't even tell you the last time we had sex. Seriously...it has been at least a month. Everyone always talks about how men have needs. Well so do women. I am ready willing and able every night, but my husband will come home from work sit down on the sofa and fall asleep. When I try to wake him up (no matter how creative I get) he's miserable and just wants to sleep. And then he wonders why I think he's having an affair sometimes. He tells me he doesn't have time to have an affair. Oh okay, that makes me feel better. "So if there was more time in your day would you have an affair?" He says he would never do that, and I use to believe him. I don't know if I do anymore. I think if an opportunity presented itself he would. It's just not normal to not have sex in over a month. It's not normal. He says he's just too tired. He works long days, blah blah blah. By the time he comes home he just wants to sleep. Exactly why I tell him to come home early at least two nights a week. That way he can actually see his kids (who he does not see at all right now) and then we can have our time together. But it will never happen. I'm losing my husband and I don't know why. I'm about to give up completely. I don't know what else to do.
Wow, I haven't been here in a while. I've actually been feeling pretty good the past few days. Bryan and I had a fight a few nights ago that started off bad but ended up real good. We ended up talking instead of fighting and we were up until 1 a.m. just talking. And it was like something finally clicked for us both. Well, for me at least. I have this peace about me and this all new feeling of love and respect. I can see things from his perspective. Things have not changed. We are still in the same predicament. We are still broke. We still can't even afford to fill my prescriptions ($140/month) BUT I don't hate him for it anymore. I hope this feeling does not change. I hope the animosity does not come back. A recent conversation with someone from the Catholic board has helped me kind of "find my way". I have always been a very religious person but over the past year I have strayed from the Church. Not for any other reason other then we just can't get our act together on Sundays to go to Church. So anyway, I haven't made it back to Church yet, but I have made it back to reading my favorite passages from the bible and just praying. And I feel like my prayers have finally been answered. And my prayers have not been for money, but rather to help me find my way with Bryan. To help us understand each other, respect each other, love each other, and to just find each other. We're getting there. I'm happy. For the first time in a few months I can honestly say I'm happy. I love Bryan and I think he FINALLY can understand where I am coming from. For instance, Saturday Gabriella screamed and cried all day long. ALL DAY. She had a rash all over her body. I couldn't take it another minute. I was tired and crying and just couldn't take it anymore. Bryan was sympathetic and caring and just so darn sweet. He called out of work and came home and helped me with her. And when he saw her he couldn't believe I had to deal with her like that ALL day long. It was the first time he actually cared. This time two weeks ago if this would have happened he would have said it wasn't his problem and went to work.
So anyway, things are going well between Bryan and myself for a change. Our sex life has picked up again. It was pretty much non-existant for a while there, and now we have it back again. I just really hope it keeps up.
As for me, my headaches are slowly but surely coming back. I'm going to have to adjust my medication I think. I'm not sure what's going on but I went a good few weeks without a headache at all. And Gabriella is still not right. I think she's having a reaction to the MMR Vaccine. Saturday was 10 days after her shot and the doc said it's normal, but the rash all over her body does not seem normal at all.
It has been a long day. I'm going to sleep.
We had a good few days and I was feeling real upbeat and positive, but now I'm depressed again. I'm happy to say that it's NOT Bryan. We are still getting along real well and things are slowly returning to normal for us. But the money situation is not changing and we are still flat broke. It's just so hard getting use to living like this, no food in the house and no money to go buy food. It sucks. I have to make up my mind fast.....my medication or food for my family. If I chose my medication I feel like I'm being selfish. Although I know if I don't take my meds and end up in the hospital I will be no good to my family and they will only suffer then too. The past few days I have not eaten breakfast or lunch. I send Bryan off to work without feeding him breakfast and without packing him a lunch. I don't have any idea if he eats or not. If he does then he buys himself food and then I will be pissed at him. Because instead of buying himself one sandwich he should be buying this family food. But I actually don't think he does buy lunch. I know he has a few commercial jobs that he works for, some of them being restaraunts. And if the right manager is working then he gets free food. So some days he gets pizza, other days he gets fried chicken, other days he gets hoagies. Not too shabby. At least someone eats. I on the other hand do not eat. No wonder why I'm so over weight. My matabolism is all screwed up from skipping meals. But I would much rather feed my kids then feed myself. I have enough fat on my body to last me a while. I drink my water every day to keep hydrated and I try to eat dinner. You would think I would be bone skinny. One would only hope. But at least my kids are eating. They get their 3 meals regardless of what is going on. And when things are looking that scarce I invite myself to my moms. She doesn't know why half the time. Or at least I didn't think she knew why. She probably does. Today she popped over with soap, tissues, paper towels, toilet paper, and cereal. She always knows somehow. So that's one less expense the next time I go shopping. But what I really need is veggies, fruit, olive oil (for my salad dressing), chicken, ground beef, ya know...stuff with substance to feed my family. Pasta with butter is just not cutting it anymore. And if I feed my kids one more grilled cheese sandwich for dinner this week I'm going to scream! Actually I can't even do that, because I have no bread. But that's another issue.
I have some things that I need to look into. I'm on the computer most of the day trying to get free stuff. I print out coupons and clip them from the paper. Now I just need to get the money to go buy the stuff. My birthday is coming up and then Bryan's soon after mine. I told my sister that if anyone asks what to get me or Bry to tell them a gift card to the Supermarket. I just want to be able to feed my family. I'm not asking for too much here.
I hate complaining. And I hate that my life has come to this. This time last year (before I knew we were in trouble) I could run to the store and get whatever I needed and not blink an eye. I was already planning my kids birthday parties (in December and January) and they were going to be big blow out parties. Little did I know they would just be coffee and cake with my parents and Bryan's parents because we couldn't afford anything more then that by that point. I was already buying Christmas presents this time last year and putting them aside. Can't even think about doing that this year. But yet I'm so dreading the Christmas season this year because there is no way I will be able to afford Justin's 4th birthday 1 week before Christmas, then Christmas for Justin and Gabby, and then Gabby's 2nd birthday 2 weeks after Christmas. How can I afford that when I can't even afford to buy my kids food right now?!
It's a time like this when Bryan and I would normally fight. But I'm not going to let that happen this time. We are NOT going to fight about this anymore. We fought about it enough. There is nothing more we can do about it. Now we need to stay strong for our kids and unite. We have been doing that recently and the kids have been better because of it. Bryan has changed his priorities. I was going to make him leave a few weeks ago. I think it finally sunk in that he was out of this family. So before it actually got to that point of him walking out the door, he snapped out of it. I'm grateful for that. I didn't want him to leave, but I didn't want to fight in front of the kids anymore. And we don't now. We don't fight at all anymore. Not the past few days anyway. And that's big for us. I hope this keeps up. Because no matter what, as long as my family is together we'll be okay. I just have to keep the faith and leave it in God's hands. There's nothing else I can do right now. Just pray that it's all okay.
Married to Bryan, 10/02/99
Justin Matthew, 12/18/01
Gabriella Rose, 1/7/04
Well, I'm blowing off a birthday party today. I feel horrible about it. My best friends son is 5. She has been planning this party for months. I haven't seen her since December. We talk every week but we just can't seem to get our acts together to get together in person. And today would have been perfect. Our kids play together so nice. An outside birthday party. How fun. But I just coudn't bring myself to go. Not sure exactly why. I blame it on several things. The fact that Gabriella was up just about all night last night and I didn't get any sleep. I don't have any money to buy her son a birthday present and I feel horrible about that. Or maybe it's just because I'm so damn depressed. I really don't know. I would love to go. But I just can't. I can't get myself up and out of this house. I just can't do it. I know this is depression but I don't know how to fix it anymore.
I do feel horrible about not being able to buy her little boy a present. She went through horribly rough times but yet she still managed to always get my kid(s) birthday gifts. Her husband (Bryan's cousin!) cheated on her when she was pregnant with her son. She loved him so much she looked the other way. He verbally abused her. He did aweful things. And then when the baby was born he left to go see his girlfriend for the weekend, telling his wife it was for the military (which he wasn't even in!). When her son was 6 months old he finally left her. And he left her high and dry. No money, all the debt, no help with anything. Nothing. She had to work full time to care for her child. Her mom had to quit her job and watch the baby full time for her. He didn't pay any child support. He didn't pay any alimony. He didn't do anything for her to help her at all. And he left her with all of the debt that HE incurred. It was aweful. She could barely breath. But yet during all of that, she still came to all of the birthday parties for the family and got kids presents. I don't know how she did it. Now, 5 years later...she's still struggling but not quite as bad. Her exhusband has not seen his son in over a year. He does send some money every 2 months or so, but not what the judge ordered him to send. She does have a wonderful man in her life and they may be getting engaged soon. Her son looks at him as his father. Things really picked up for her. But how did she do it for as long as she did. It seriously took her 4 years to get to the point she's out now. And the past year has been good. I can't even imagine 5 years of this. I can't even imagine another day of this.
Wow, I haven't been here forever. Things have been kind of nuts around here. They have somewhat calmed down for now. Financially things are still a mess. Bryan has not fixed anything yet. He is still not doing what he needs to be doing. Don't get me wrong, he's working his tail off 14 hour days. But he's neglecting very important aspects of his business...like paying the bills.
I'll have to come back to this later. Justin is up and miserable! UGH!
Ya know, sometimes I really can't stand my husband. He worked yesterday, Memorial Day, until 1:00 a.m. Was that really necessary? He said yes. I doubt it. Today he worked until 9 p.m. He comes in and starts telling me how to parent my son?! What's that all about???!!! I'm the one with these kids all day long every single freakin day. Who does he think he is strolling in at 9 p.m. and telling ME how to be a mom. ME! The one who is with these kids from the moment they wake up at 7 a.m. until Gab goes to sleep at 8:30 and Justin goes to sleep at 10:00-10:30. I'm the one who makes their breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'm the one who gives them their snacks. I'm the one who does all of the cleaning and the grocery shopping. I'm the one who changes all of the diapers. I'm the one who gives them their baths. I'm the one who plays with them inside and outside. I'm the one who disciplines them all day long. I'm the one who does everything. He wakes up and goes to work. He works all day and we don't hear from him all day long. Then he comes in at all different times. Sometimes he gets home at 7:00, other times it's 9:00, and then Monday it was 1:00 a.m. He's a landscaper!!!!!!!!!!!!! What does he need to be out that late for? Something doesn't seem right to me. I've asked him if he's cheating on me. He adamantly says no. But would he actually say yes if he WAS cheating? I just don't believe anything he says to me anymore.
And then tonight he starts to say something to me, calls my name, I look at him, he looked at me, and then said nevermind. What was he going to say? Was he going to tell me something serious? Was he going to tell me that he's having an affair? Was he going to tell me that our relationship is over? I have no idea. He does this crap all the time. And then he wonders why I'm so suspicious. Hello? Does he give me reason not to be? NO! For the past two years he totally lied to me about finances to the point of bankruptcy. I don't put anything past him anymore. I think there is a good possibility that he's cheating. And if he's not, if he's really not cheating then he's emotionally no longer committed to this marriage. He's not trying to make things right between us. He's not trying to do anything right by his family. And all I get from my sister and my family is that he's stressed trying to make his business work. I think that is a total cop-out. He's the one who let it get to this point. If it's not working then admit it, sell the company, get another job and be done with it. This is ridiculous!
Oh goody...here he comes. More fighting.
Oops, triple posted.