I guess I need a place to gather my thoughts, and this seems as good as any to start.
My name is Allison, I'm 29 years old and expecting my first and only in 1 week. My pregnancy has been great as far as no morning sickness, and no other health problems. My emotions on the other hand are a complete mess. I beleive I have pre-natal depression which worries me for when my little man gets here. I had depression as a teenager so I guess you can say I'm pre-disposed to it.
I feel so bad for DH, it seems he can't do anything without me getting upset. Most of the time I just hide in our room or take a long shower so he can't hear me cry.
My mom lives 4 hours away and it's hard for me. we were always really close and when she moved 3 years ago it was hard, especially now that her grandson will be here and she won't be able to see him as much as I'd like her to. DH's parents are very hard to get along with lately. I think his mom is going through a depression and FIL is being a complete ass to her. I don't even want to go over there any more. I used to love going there. It just kills me that these people that I don't want to be around right now are so close (5 mins away) and the one person I want is sooo far.
My other concern is DH's daughter. I can't bond with her and I am so worried that I won't be able to handle her when my LO comes. I know it's not fair to her, she's a good kid overall, we just don't click. DH is a wonderful father and we have her every evening, the only day we don't see her is Thursday's, that's when DH puts his foot down and says she has to spend time with her mom (that's a whole other diary) What if I can't handle being a mom of two? I've only ever wanted 1. I couldn't stand the thought of losing DH, but I can't stand the thought of being miserable anymore, He doesn't deserve that.
I'm just hoping that it's my hormones right now and that once this little guy gets here my whole outlook will change. Not too long ago I used to be a happy person. I miss those days.