A bit of an intro for those who don't know me ~ I'm a 27yr old mama who is down right tired of being FAT!! I've gone from a nice decent weight to a very UNfriendly weight over the past 7.5 years - the culprit? PRENGNACY! And a stupid wacky thyroid. (although if truth be told, I still blame my husband ha ha)
This journal isn't going to be just about weight loss though, it's going to be about my journey to a better healthier me, FOR LIFE. I have a very long ways to go but am looking forward to perhaps, not the end result, as I feel I will always be growing, changing and improving but to a healthier, happier me.
My ultimate goal is to eventually run a marathon, for now it's to heal my body.
Also - for those interested, please feel free to leave comments here in this journal, I don't mind
Last edited by Watermelon_Gypsy; 02-23-2008 at 06:40 PM.
I made a promise to myself when I was pregnant with Seamus, that if I could birth him without any drugs then I could lose this weight. Well, I birthed him w/out any pain meds despite having to be in a horrible hospital, and an induction to boot. It is now time to keep my promise.
It is SUCH a mighty struggle though, I have tried just about every "diet" out there to no avail, none of them thus far have I found to be sound or healthy, nevermind long lasting - I often feel empty at the end, as if all my efforts were done in vein, it is a frustrating feeling to have after all that work. I'm also weary of how certain diets work, I have conquered bulemia and in order to stay on that status I must be very careful with my thoughts and actions, I refuse to be a victim to it any longer.
I'm honestly not sure how I will do this, I don't even have the enthusiasim to do it, and yet I daydream of what it would be like to be skinny again, to be healthy. TRULY healthy. I have a very deep yearing to have more children, at least 1 more (before we adopt) - but more importantly be healthy and fit when this happens, to enjoy it and to have no complications, and to be HOME. In order to accomplish this I MUST heal myself both physically, mentally and spiritually.
Another goal that I have is to run a marathon. I would like to run a half marathon to start which is around 13 miles and then a full marathon which is around 26 miles. My ultimate marathon goal is to run in the Disney (or something similar) marathon and to find a child to sponsor.
To lose 100lbs - I am currently 235.4 I would like to be 130-135.
To do Dr. Christophers Blood cleanse, I have a very deep, very strong desire to heal myself from this anti-body that is in my blood. It is something that I almost never speak of because I realize that many people feel that this is impossible. I know it is not, I will do it, you watch.
It, I believe will also help me with the acne problem I've been struggling with since I had Garrett, amongst other things.
To heal myself, physically by retraining my body to eat and think in a way that is positive for who I am.
To heal myself spiritually, which yes, I do believe affects my weight and ability to truly be healthy.
To heal myself mentally, I am in the process of this right now by taking the Truehope CNE - I will also be starting acupuncture & light/music treatments/therapy and will go as often as needed and as often as I can afford it.
To run a half and full marathon.
To run the Disney (or similar) Marathon within the next 10 years.
And last but certainly not least, to keep this journal up! lol That may sem like a simple goal to have but I always seem to find myself feeling insecure after awhile, so I take it to a private journal ~ but this time, I would really like to keep it up. I think if others are reading then it holds me a bit more accountable & that's exactly what I need right now.
I just want to say that I think it is awesome that you are doing this. I find what you are doing here incredibly inspiring, and I will be rooting for you girl! BTW I love the warning box at the top!LOL
Hi Carmen! Thanks so much hun! Your support means a lot to me
LOL that box is SO true too
Sooo, yesterday I drank 140oz of water & it wasn't even on purpose! How silly is that lol I 'thought' my glass was around 12oz give or take, however at around 6:00 last night as I was doing dinner I thought to myself, "mmm I really wonderful how big this glass is." When I measured it I saw that it was actually just over 20oz, not 12oz! LOL OH my word - so I added up all that I had had that day & it totalled 140oz that's just insane, no wonder I was peeing like a horse.
My body feels a lot lighter though & I feel better, I was a bit dizzy but I think it was just my body adjusting, not only had I eaten better that day, I'd eaten less & I'd drank a whole lot - so it was a good thing. For my weight I should be drinking around 110 to 120oz so that will be my new goal, since I know that I can reach that on a dialy basis.
I was also able to stay UNDER my points last night, until seamus started throwing a fit at mignight and kept me up all night, I think he's allergic to mango's, he does this very thing when he's had pears & guava so no more fruit for that kid! Just nanners lol These all nighters are exhausting. Anyhow, so I caved & ate some chocolate & a few other things, blah. Oh well I only went over by 6 points so not bad! Today will be better.
Some misc. personal goals that I have at the moment:
To drink a quart of RRLT a day - and to find a good place that sells organic loose leave RRLT.
To start back up on my thyroid activator herb combo.
Now that I no longer do hypnobabies, except for her night time one, I'd like to find a form of meditation that I like.
To address my other goals that are up top in the wkly goals section.
btw ~ my abs are a bit sore from yesterday, how sad is that! I was only on the eliptikiller for about 15 minutes before my feet started to blister. I wish I hadn't wated the money on it, it positions my feet weird so it hurts my knees AND feet. argh. Oh well, I have some great workout video's and hello I'm paying over $60 a month for a gym membership that I'm not using So yea - I should probably start going I hate going though, I feel so silly, it's such a meat market. I'd really love to learn how to use the weight machines and weights properly but I feel all when I go, so I never do it & it's not like I don't have an excuse other than feel like a total asshat there, my brother is a weights & fitness trainer but I just can't bring myself to do it.
Yesterday was awsome, I stayed well w/in my points although I had a really bad headache. I think it was b/c I wasn't eating regularly enough, which I really need to be prudent about ~ between being hypoglycemic, borderline hypothy & nursing it's important I not go long w/out at least something.
Anyhow ~ was able to get my 120oz of water in too, go me. I didn't exercise b/c my poor heels were still blistered so I thought I'd wait until today, it's 12:30 and I'm seriously lacking the enthusasim esp. now that seamus is napping. Maybe I'll wait until he's awake.
My thyroid activator (herbal) is out, I can really feel a difference too when I don't take this stuff. I'm hoping to make it to the store tonight before it closes, I also have several books on hold at the library concerning hypothyroidism. I'm anxious to get them especially the one that talks about your diet, I think it'll help me with my weight loss goals.
It's probably only water loss, but I don't care LOL It's a loss! I wasn't supposed to weigh in until Monday morning but I really needed a boost this morning, it's the weekend and I always seem to struggle b/c I stay up late @ night and dh is home with me. So I stepped on the scale hoping to see even just a 1lb loss, when I saw 4!!
Yesterday was also an awsome day ~ I was going to write last night but didn't want to jinx myself, so I waited until this morning. I stuck to my 38 daily points, I've gone over a bit each day using up my 35wkly points but last night I did awsome!! I almost always go over at night b/c, well I'm a night eater! So it felt good to really stick to the plan
I'm also half way to reaching my 1st goal!
Tonight is going to be a big challenge too, but I'm determined to make it! Were having a family night tonight, the boys and I will be making chocolate chip cookies & watching Superman Returns ~ the boys will also be having KFC - I plan on making myself a roasted chicken breast w/ veggies & a small baked potato or something else, not sure yet. So I'm hoping I make it! I'm going to allow myself two cookies & some milk but NO kfc. I also plan on only making about 10 cookies and freezing the rest of the dough ~ that way there's no temptation.
Not done so well this weekend, my downfall was friday night although I did quite well considering, it was yesterday as I was running in 10 different directions trying to finish up my CHristmas shopping, today's not been too bad but not great.
I'll start again tomorrow.
I think that's one thing I've learned in all of this, but it wasn't until it was pointed out to me (a year or so ago) that I'm an "all or nothing girl" that it really clicked, knowing now that it doesn't have to be an all or nothing, that I can mess up and then start again the next day, or even the next hour and it's not all to waste really makes this easier.
May sound simple, but when your stuck in the all or nothing mentality it's not so. It feels good to be able to push past one more hurdle, puts me closer to the new me. A year ago this weekend would of put me back to square one, I would of given up completley b/c of my 'bad' weekend - where now I don't have that burden on me, I'm still going to step on that scale tomorrow & I'm still going to keep at this, and I WILL see the results I am looking for.
Well, I'm back, AGAIN. Ya know that "again" gets in my way to many times. I took a bit of a hiatus partly because I'm lazy, and partly because we thought we were going to have another little one arrive in 9 months.
Well, I'm still lazy, working on that! But were not expecting so I'm back & ready to start going again. I have found huge modivation in seeing an old friend of mine recently, well via pictures anyways. She's lost over 100lbs - seeing that stung just as much as it made me excited for her. The selfish part of me was soo jealous, and for a moment made me mad at myself - why can't *I* do this!!?? It feels like everyone around me is always acomplishing this stupid weight loss thing, except for me.
Love my poor me attitude? Yea, it sucks I know. SO setting aside the selfish part of me I totally admire her AND am modivated by her acomplishment, she's such a neat person & I can really see how happy she is - I want that, SO BAD.
So I'm gonna get it.
I've signed up for the weight loss challenge here in PO & I've signed up over at Discovery Healthy - Fitness Challenge it looks like a really neat program, I LOVE how it tells you what to do exercise wise, each day, and what to eat each day with the ingredients. That's my sorta thing for sure - I plan on sitting down tonight & making up a 2wk meal plan. The challenge runs for 8wks so I'll only have to sit down 4 times (once every 2wks ie: PAYDAY! lol) and make our menu - yes OUR b/c I'm putting my family on this too.
Well - a pleasant suprise, I stepped on the scale this evening and I wasn't depressed, how's that for nice! I was SO sure I'd gained a ton back over the holidays when infact I've only gained about a 1lb so yay go me!
The other nice part is that I always weigh in the mornings, ya know the whole "I'll weigh less then so it's not so depressing" thing so I KNOW I only gained that back, AND af is here. It certainly gave me the modivation I needed ~ I've been feeling so blah latley.
Also, according to http://www.bodybuilding.com I need to have roughly 1940 calories a day - that works great for now b/c I'm nursing and really shouldn't go under 1800 so that's my goal for now.
I've also joined the PO's weight loss challenge along with Discovery Healths - I'm excited.