33 weeks 4 days
..............Dearest journal, honestly I am SO not a drama person and am ready for all drama to be done. I'm pregnant, for goodness sakes, and would have really hoped for a lovely, stress-free last pregnancy. I'm starting to feel like my own little version of the Jerry Springer show and just really don't have an appreciation for it.
I know you're not going to believe this, journal, because I can't believe it myself. About a week ago DH's boss at his new work got fired. Whatever, he was relatively new himself and I'm sure they had their reasons. The first people to get fired are the managers/salaried people whenever there is a problem. This boss called DH after he got canned to tell him they were going to close the whole office down here at his branch (the only branch in our state) within the next 30 days so DH should start looking for a new job. WTH? He *just* got this job and hasn't even had his first paycheck for his earned commissions. (Remember all my posts about "if we can just make it 30 more days, and now finally we only have 1 week remaining????) He decided to blow that off as his former boss was just making up stuff so DH would quit and hurt the profits of the company since it is a very small company and DH has been doing great in sales.
So all of a sudden today he goes into the office and THAT'S IT. Boom. We're closing the office.....today. Everyone is laid off. It's over. No warning, no nothing. How is this possible? This company just spent no telling how much money to fly him out to California for a week and put him through all this intense training. Then he had to come back and go through more training. Then just last week they brought in a new big screen TV so their office could do tele-conferencing with the home office in California. I mean, why are you hiring people and investing in them if you are not even going to give them 30 days to work before you just shut the branch down???
So DH said that his new manager (the one he's had for a week) has some connections with other companies in the same type of line of work and that he was going to go over to this guy's house after work today so they could talk and I guess try to make some contacts with these other companies and line up jobs. OK, fine, but that was at 4:30PM ON HALLOWEEN! Who are you going to get in touch with on a Friday afternoon after 5PM on a "holiday"? I asked DH if he was going out or if there was something else I needed to know---no. I asked him if he was going to be back at some awful hour like 1AM and he emphatically said that OH NO, nothing like that. He was just going over to this person's house to get a job lined up. Again, not sure what you can line up from some dude's house on a holiday evening.
It's now 8:30PM and I've called him 3 times. Surprise, surprise, he's not answering his phone. I left him a message that he needed to call me. No call. Mind you I am coming up on 34 weeks pregnant and just spent an hour walking around in the heat trying to keep up with a 5 yr old trick-or-treating. I'm having lots of BH contractions from the activity and I could very well have been trying to reach him with a problem or something. I'm about to be upset...........
Will post more later when I have something to say that's good.
DH came home shortly after my last post. Was wasted. Insisted upon LEAVING TOWN to make a 3 hour drive to go hunting right that moment. Argument ensued. He ended up leaving and I ended up thinking "good, be gone". About 45 minutes after his departure I found his wallet on the closet floor, so did call to tell him since he would have driven 3 hours out of town then had no money or way of getting enough gas to get back home and then it would have become MY problem to fix.
Accusations that I knew he had left his wallet behind but I waited so long to tell him Begging for me to wire him some money, followed by my refusal to do so. He came home and got it, then started out for his trip again. Somehow, some way he made the trip without event.
He called me today at work and I had choice words and statements for him. His apology was not accepted, will need more than that but don't know what. I will not be a whipping post, regardless of how bad a day "YOU" had (as if it makes it easier to have your husband lose his job AND also be a selfish prick too). I have no idea about his work from here on out. Feeling like I'd rather live in a 700 square ft home for $600/month than worry about bills, bills, bills all the time. So tired of the bills. So tired. Period.
Joshie and I spent the night w/my parents last night and it was good to not be here at the house just doing the same 'ol thing. My baby shower is next weekend and my grandmother's sister is coming in town for a visit. She and my grandmother will both be staying at my parent's house so my mom is frantically trying to get their office/junk room turned into a guest room. She had picked out some paint but is so scared to do anything darker than an eggshell color, so they had painted the whole room and it still looked white, even though she had gotten the color "natural" off of the paint swatch in the khaki tones. She was so unhappy with the color. I picked a new color out and my dad, being the good sport he is, ran up and bought some and then re-painted the entire room in the new color, which was an actual color instead of one of the various shades of white. Then my mom LOVED the new color and all was well. So afterward we ran up and bought a new comforter set, pillows, and mattress covers for the bed they will set up in the guest room. Lots and lots of fun! How I love and miss shopping for house stuff!
And in other good news, my mom bid on and won an ebay auction this morning for the AMBY baby hammock bed I've been wanting!!!! This one was only used for a month and is the color I wanted AND only cost 1/3 of the price of a brand new one from the amby website. Does it get any better than that? I don't think so!
DH met me at my parent's house this afternoon to bring by the mattress/box spring set for their new guest room. He picked it up while he was out of town from my late great aunt's back bedroom, as they were never even slept on or anything and would be great for using in the new guest bedroom.
We all sat and ate lunch together, but can you say "elephant in the room"?
Wanna hear something coincidental? DH got laid off on Friday. On Saturday my parents got a flyer in the mail advertising for DH's job he just got laid off from. So my dad called the # on the flyer and said he wanted to arrange for someone to come out and give him an estimate for some pavers. They told him they were sorry but the Texas office had just been closed. So at least this confirms for them that all of this mess is truthful, which I guess we didn't really doubt, but it just seems so surreal it is hard to believe.
DH said he is going to call his competitor company tomorrow morning to see if they will hire him. Which totally proves my point earlier that there was NOTHING accomplished by going to some guy's house on a Friday night at 5PM except getting hammered, then lying about it, and then turning into a big 'ol jerk and fleeing town to try and escape the problem. I call it as I see it.
If that doesn't work out he said he knows somebody that said they might have a spot for him on a disaster relief team (hurricane damage, etc) that would pay great money but he'd be out of town (and out of state) most all of the time. I think in order to do that, though, it would cost $ in terms of you need to have your own equipment and be licensed---wouldn't you think?
We remain in limbo for now and I'm looking forward to a very stressful next few weeks, months, or however long. Trying to find the light somewhere in this tunnel. Even just a peep hole somewhere would be great.
Hey hon, first let me tell you that I will ferevently be praying as your DH finds a new job. Also, I hope I don't offend you by adding a few things. Your husband's identity is directly tied into his job. This loss is going to hit him hard. Right now what he needs is respect and support from you. I know, I know--not exactly what you want to hear right now b/c you are angry. However, he needs to know that you support him 100% right now. He needs your encouragement as he pursues new employment. He will love you even more for that support-I promise.
I thank God right now that the money you need for bills is there. I thank God that every need that you have is met according to His glorious riches by Christ Jesus. This is a mountain that needs to be moved in your life. I will add my faith to yours, agreeing in prayer that everything will be taken care of. I promise that it will. God is so faithful to His word hon. I know it's difficult to see past what seems like an impossible circumstance, but I promise you--that is your light at the end of a long tunnel.
Ryan and Rachael
Parents to Chase, Abby, Hunter, Rachel, Caleb, Hannah & Nate
~Remembering sweet baby Oliver, born to Heaven October 20, 2009, & keeping Carole in our prayers~
Thanks, Rach, I sometimes need a little refocusing!
Today brought some good news, although somewhat temporary. DH went and talked with the owner of his competitor company and they told him they're not hiring right now because its the slow season for people getting patios and such in the winter months. However, due to the unique circumstance of DH's position and him having people that are waiting to get the patio's they want and he just needs a company to work for to do it (leads waiting in the wings for someone to do the job) they told him that although he wouldn't be an official employee, he could sell for them, they would do the work and pay him his commission. They gave him all of their contracts and forms and said to go out and close deals. Once he has proven himself as a sales closer and business picks back up for them then they will see about hiring him on for good. And another nice thing is that this company is in the process of *maybe* getting a very large household-name retail home improvement store as their account and if they do get it, then they will need someone to help them manage and work that account right away---so they may have a spot for him sooner rather than later if that large account pans out. This company was very impressed with all of DH's knowledge and training and that he comes to them totally trained and ready to go.
DH called 2 of his list of people waiting on jobs and will be going out to meet with them this week to see about getting the contracts signed and done! It appears, for now, that he will be able to not skip a beat and keep closing some sales for us. The DOWN side is that he will not be provided with leads from this company to work---he has to find his own, which is THE hard part. So once his list of leads has been worked then we will need a decision from this company on whether they will hire him and provide leads for him to continue working there or possibly assign him to this big account if that pans out. Otherwise he will have to move on because he can't farm up enough leads to maintain this pace forever.
On another note, I had my 34 week Dr. appt today and all was well. Baby is still measuring 1 week ahead, HB in the 140's, and my wt/BP were all good. From now on I go every week to the doc---I thought that wouldn't start until 36 weeks but, whatever, that's fine I guess. They are going to do my group B test at my next appt. I've been having BH contractions but nothing significant IMO. All is well, despite the immense stress factor!
I have to work late this week and I was supposed to get off at 6PM but got held up until 6:30PM. I saw my little man for a few short minutes when I got home but within 20 minutes of me being home he had fallen asleep and now I have all but missed this entire day with him. That's what stinks about working.
34 weeks 2 days
Election day was yesterday. I guess I'll just hold my breath for the next 4 years and hope Huckabee can have a better run next time around. Gah.
Tomorrow I'm having a diaper shower at work! Whoo hoo! And then this weekend is another shower with a few friends and family. My MIL is coming in town and bringing a friend and my great aunt is coming in town as well. Should be fun!
34 weeks 6 days
This weekend has gone by so fast! First and foremost my DH got baptized today at church! He grew up Presbyterian and so was required to be baptized by immersion when we decided to join the Baptist church we have been attending. Nearly my whole family came to watch and support him. Except my brother, who was at the emergency vet to help his dog pass a bunch of fountain grass he is always eating You'd think the dog would learn to stop doing that but he never does. My brother said he'd be digging up the fountain grass this afternoon.
Anywho, after the baptism the whole family came over to our house for lunch and visiting. It was very nice. I am exhausted, though, just from planning meals and cooking/cleaning for hosting 2 guests overnight and then doing lunch for 9 this afternoon. Last night I stayed up until 1AM making chicken spaghetti for today's big lunch because I knew after church everyone would be coming right over and there would be no time for cooking then. By nearly 1PM people are STARVING and I barely had enough time to heat up the pot of prepared chicken spaghetti! I did a bagged salad, added diced onion, carrot, tomato, croutons, and avocado, then popped a frozen garlic cheese bread in the oven and served tea or water. Very extravagant, LOL!
My MIL and her friend came up on Saturday just before the baby shower, which was SO lovely. My friend, her mom, and my SIL went all out and it was the nicest, best planned shower. I was a bit embarrassed because for some weird reason THREE of my friends RSVP'd that they were coming and then did not show up or call or anything. Isn't that odd? Well, at any rate, my MIL and her friend then stayed with us overnight and DH grilled out hamburgers and we all played cards for a few hours, which was so fun (because I won! LOL!). Unfortunately he came back in the house with only 4 burgers and there were 5 of us! DH said that our dog had EATEN A BURGER OFF OF THE GRILL!!! OMGosh! I never would have thought she would pull a burger off of a grill with FIRE. It all worked out OK because my MIL, her friend and I were all still stuffed from all the food at the baby shower and we each only wanted 1/2 a burger anyways. I had also made a boxed "suddenly salad" pasta salad and added fresh tomatoes, which was adequately tasty and very low maintenance.
This morning I got up at 7AM and made a box of blueberry muffins, assembled some yogurt/strawberry/granola parfaits, and did some turkey pan sausage. That all came out pretty tasty, despite DH's groaning and moaning about the sausage being turkey. In case you are not aware, journal, I don't eat pork. I don't eat it. I'm also 35 wks pregnant tomorrow and I feel like if I'm buying it, making it, serving it, and cleaning up after it---then I should be able to eat it as well. I have a heck of a time eating enough protein so why not just get the turkey sausage so I can say I had some protein with my parfait and muffin? DH finally recanted most of his words and said it was pretty good after all. Hmph.
I hate to jump around so much but my mind isn't clear and I'm tired. I really got a lot out of the sermon this morning. It was about the "if's" of daily life and how even when the wheels are falling off of your life/health/marriage/finances that it is not our job to be able to handle those pressures all alone. It is only our job to lean on Him to help us through. I totally and completely forget that 99.99% of the time. I have a hard time leaning on anybody, even DH, and that only sets us up for arguing and feeling low and helpless. If we could just unite together and lean on the Lord, I believe we would both feel so much better and I'm sure have a happier and healthier marriage too.
Tomorrow I've got my 35 week regular check up and GBS test. From now on I'm going every week. Why bother, because my doctor is completely behind all the time and they always want me to just see the nurse practitioner that is helping to relieve the doctor's load. I have to see the NP again tomorrow because my doctor is on vacation all week long. I so wonder if she'll even be around before this baby makes his appearance. It was at my 36 week visit when my 1st son was on the way that my OB put me on complete bed rest for high blood pressure, so I'm starting to hit the point where the NP is not good enough. I really want to be watched by the doctor and I'm feeling like that is too much to ask at this new doctor's office.
I'm 35 weeks along and have 35 days left to go, isn't that cool? Had my doc appt this afternoon and all is well. Baby is still measuring 1 week ahead, my BP was 112/70. Had my group B test and she checked me and said I'm dilated at 1 and "starting to thin out". I told her that with 5 weeks left to go I expected it to be locked up like Fort Knox in there. It seems everyone is in a big 'ol rush to have their babies early---weeks early. I am not. I am not in a hurry and want him to stay in there for 40 weeks. Forty. Not 36, not 37. Forty. That is over a month away. Why the big rush everyone? Let the baby bake for the recommended amount of time.
35 weeks 3 days
Today was moderately productive. I had a work meeting for 1/2 day and then had the afternoon off. I was able to get a few things started or done around the house, had an eye doctor follow up appointment, then picked up Joshie from school, we got some dinner (I spilled most of a strawberry milkshake in my car door and nearly cried), and then I got some baby shower "thank you's" written. I still have 18 left to go but I got 17 done, so about halfway there!
I also got lots of laundry done, got Josh's new Christmas flannel sheet set washed and ready to go, and actually did one full load of baby Jonah's stuff! That is a good start headed into the weekend so I can spend some time this weekend finishing up all the baby's laundry stuff and studying for a work test I have next week. Now that my showers are over, I am also free to go pick up the items that I still really need but did not get, which is not very much! I need a diaper changing pad and cover, and I want some scented drawer liner and a net-like cover to go over the car seat to keep strangers from touching my baby. Of course it will be under the guise of helping to keep out the sun, wind, rain, or bugs---whichever makes most sense at the time
35 weeks 6 days
Nesting mode in full force. Yesterday I finished all of the baby's laundry, got the new changing pad and covers I wanted from BRU, got the baby's closet all organized, used the ozone machine and a bed sheet to construct a chest of drawers mothball smell de-stinking machine (thanks to my brother for that idea), got Joshua's new Christmas flannel sheets on his bed and all of the laundry for the rest of the family done. Oh, and went to the grocery store!
This morning so far I have started packing my hospital bag and plan on having that task completed today.
DH has also mentioned he will be doing the honey-do's I need him to do in the nursery today, which is to hang the 2 valances, hang a baby quilt on the wall that matches the crib set, and secure the new dresser and bookshelves to the wall to prevent them getting tipped over once the little man is crawling around.
I'm about to get crackin' on the remainder of my baby shower "thank you" notes and will then have the afternoon to spend studying for my test I have to take this coming Thursday for work.
On a down note, I had previously cleaned, scrubbed, and washed our aquarium swing and bouncer and they have been all pretty and assembled in the nursery for weeks. Yesterday I went to add batteries into them only to discover that the swing now only works on 1 of the 6 speed settings and the bouncer does not vibrate at all. Crap.